Our Girl Lily
by The King's Soldier
Summary: A series looking at the development of Lily's relationship with the Marauders. One chapter for each year they knew one another (1971-1981), plus an epilogue for October 31, 1981. Each chapter has four parts, each of which shows a key moment between Lily and a different Marauder. Does include Peter. Jily endgame.
1. Hogwarts: Year 1

Author's Note: I've been a big fan of Harry Potter for several years. A few weeks ago I stumbled across some Tumblr posts for the Marauders Era, and I was immediately hooked. I've since gotten quite attached to Lily Potter, so this story was born. The premise is fairly simple. There will be one chapter for every year that Lily knew the Marauders. Each chapter will be divided into four parts that each look at Lily's growing relationship with a different Marauder. The Marauders may cross over into each other's sections, and certain other characters will also feature briefly as it goes on. But each of a chapter's four parts will have at its core a key moment in Lily's relationship with one of the four boys. The end result will hopefully be a broad view that shows the arc of each of those relationships through the years. This first chapter is fairly light because they've all just met. But as the story goes on, the chapters will get more serious and the characters will become deeper. This is my first time writing these characters, so hopefully it's okay. I'm trying to keep things canon, but if I do tweak something for the sake of the story, sorry. Also, the lyric I used in the summary of this story is from the great song "Living Louder" by The Cab, which seems to me like it could be a theme song for the Marauders. And now, without further ado, here is chapter one. Enjoy!

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 **Hogwarts: Year 1**

From the moment Lily Evans met James Potter, she knew she didn't like him. His pure arrogance alone would've been enough to turn her away. But he was also mean to Severus, Lily's best and only friend. And that made Lily angry. There was nothing Lily hated more than a bully.

Still, her parents had raised her to be the bigger person. So that's what she tried to be. She ignored James to the very best of her ability, something that was rather difficult since she had all her classes with him and the other Gryffindor girls kept carrying on about how dashing he was. In spite of it all, Lily managed to hold the high road for almost the entire first week. Which might not sound like much, but considering what an arrogant toerag James could be, Lily considered it a personal triumph.

It was the end of the first week and the first years were outside for broom practice when Lily finally retaliated. James was a natural on a broom. Which would have been fine, except that he knew it. He soared around the training grounds like a regular Quidditch star, clearly showing off for the benefit of his new mates. Lily was only decent with a broom. But since this was only their second lesson, she wasn't too worried. There would be plenty of time to improve. Severus, on the other hand, was having a bit of a difficult time. He could get the broom going just fine, but he had trouble staying on. Balance, it seemed, was not exactly his strong suit. And unfortunately for him, James had noticed.

Lily was hovering just above the ground giving her best friend a pep talk when James finally saw fit to land his broom and join the rest of the mortals on the ground.

"Having a bit of trouble, are we, Snivellus?" James called.

Severus lifted his head to say something sharp, but instead toppled off his broom. James and his cronies immediately burst out laughing.

"Are you sure you're even a wizard?" a boy with shaggy dark hair asked.

"Don't listen to them," Lily said, landing her broom beside Severus. "They're idiots."

Severus quickly pushed himself up off the grass and dusted off his robes. He glared over Lily's shoulder at the other boys as he angrily grabbed up his broom.

"Oh, are you gonna cry, Snivelly?" James taunted.

Severus reached a hand under his robe, instinctively going for his wand.

"Don't," Lily hissed. She shot out her hand and placed it on top of his. "You'll get in trouble."

"Listen to your girlfriend, Snivellus," the shaggy haired boy yelled.

"Let a real wizard show you how it's done," James said confidently.

He mounted his broom as his friends began to whistle and clap. Severus' jaw was so tightly clenched that it was a wonder it hadn't gone through his skull. Lily could feel him shaking in anger. And just like that, something inside of Lily snapped.

She began to cough furiously, her hand coming up to cover her mouth.

"Lily?" Severus asked in concern.

"Alright there, Evans?" James called from atop his broom.

"Maybe she's allergic to losers," a smaller boy said.

James' chuckle of agreement was abruptly cut short by his broom shooting off through the air. It was only sheer reflex that saved James from being flung off. Of course, then he was stuck clinging to a broom that seemed to have suddenly gone mad. It zigged and zagged madly across the grounds, climbing steeply into the air only to plummet toward the grass below. So James did the only reasonable thing for a proud Gryffindor from a long line of pureblood wizards to do. He screamed like a little girl.

"Help!" he yelled. "Somebody help!"

What mild structure the class might have possessed immediately dissolved as all of the students herded together and stared up at the bucking broom. James was truly a sight to behold as he clung to the wild broom for dear life. Madam Hooch, who had been helping Bertram Aubrey, finally took notice of what was happening. She had her wand out in a flash. A few hurriedly shouted spells were all it took for the broom to grind to a halt in midair. It hung there suspended for a long second before dropping the short distance to the ground and spilling James across the grass in a very undignified manner.

Madam Hooch was beside him in an instant, quickly assessing him for injuries. The rest of their class eagerly gathered around as James sat up with a moan. Only Severus and Lily remained where they had been standing.

"That was you, wasn't it?" Severus said quietly so only Lily could hear. "You weren't coughing. You were hexing his broom."

"I don't know what you're talking about," Lily said innocently. But the corners of her mouth were twitching.

Lily would never tell anyone what she might or might not have done that day on the training grounds, mostly because she didn't view it as one of her finer moments. James himself wouldn't figure it out until their fifth year when Avery cursed Mary MacDonald and Lily proceeded to have another coughing fit during his next Quidditch match just before his broom went wild and crashed him into the stands. Avery would leave the Quidditch pitch with a concussion and a broken arm. James, on the other hand, would walk away convinced he was in love with Lily Evans. He would never tell her that he knew she had hexed his broom in their first year, just as she would never tell him that she had done it. But on the day that it actually happened, they were still only eleven and had no idea just how entwined their fates would prove to be.

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Homework piled up quickly for the first years. Some of them complained about the workload, but Lily loved it. She wanted to know everything she could about the magical world she had stumbled into. That desire would have dissipated by her second year, although the wonder of magic would never truly leave her. But right then it was all still new and bright and, for lack of a better word, magical. So in the rare stretches of time she wasn't running around with fellow Gryffindors Mary Macdonald and Marlene McKinnon, Lily was in the library reading up on anything and everything magical.

About a month into school, she picked up a few books on hexes. A group of older Slytherins was getting extremely irritating in their treatment of Lily's fellow first years, and she had decided it was high time to do something about it. She was about to take her stack of books to one of the carrels to read on her own when she caught sight of a boy sitting alone at a table pouring over a star chart. Lily hardly knew anything about him except that he was a Gryffindor, fairly quiet, and tended to keep to himself. Which made him exactly the sort of person who needed a friend. And Lily was nothing if not friendly.

She walked over to the table and set down her books on the end. The boy looked up in surprise.

"Mind if I sit?" Lily asked.

"I… no," the boy stammered. He grabbed a large book that was spread out on the table and scooted it over to make room. "Please."

"Thanks," Lily said with a grin. She held out her hand as she sat down. "I'm Lily Evans. We're in the same house."

"Remus Lupin," the boy said.

He took Lily's hand, and they shook.

"What are you reading?" Lily asked, looking down at the open book Remus had pushed aside. It was currently open to a drawing of a werewolf. "Werewolves. That sounds depressing."

Remus quickly flipped the book closed.

"It's sort of a hobby," he said. He looked away, his lip held firmly between his teeth.

"Most people think they're scary," Lily said. "But I think they're sad. It's not their fault they're like that. They didn't ask for it. Just like I didn't ask to be a Muggle-born."

Remus looked up with a strange expression on his face.

"You're a Muggle-born?" he asked.

"Yeah," Lily said. "Got a problem with that?"

She had quickly learned that some of the other students thought there was some kind of blood hierarchy among wizards. Children from pure wizarding families were somehow better than those born to Muggle families. Lily thought it was all a load of rubbish. If a magical child could be born to a Muggle family, then didn't that prove that magical ability had nothing to do with blood? Still, she had already received her fair share of insults, and she was all set to defend her honor. But instead of calling her one of those horrid names some of the other students tossed around, Remus actually grinned.

"No," he said quickly. "I think it's brilliant. I'm a half-blood."

"Brilliant," Lily said, returning his grin. "Let's be friends then."

"Friends?" Remus asked. His eyes looked about to leap out of his head. "I've never had a friend."

"Never?" Lily asked in surprise. Remus shook his head. "Well, you can be mine."

"Thanks," Remus said. Lily had never seen a smile as big as the one on his face just then.

"You're welcome," Lily said as she flipped open the first book from her stack. Remus looked down at the star chart in front of him and sighed.

"Have you done the astronomy homework yet?" he asked, looking back up. "I'm trying to learn the stars we were assigned, but there's too many and I can't keep them straight."

"Marlene taught me a trick to help remember them," Lily said. "I can show it to you if you like."

"Okay," Remus agreed.

He pushed the star chart closer to Lily, and they bent over it together. As the minutes steadily turned into hours, they ended up talking far more about Muggle things than the stars. But if they were really honest, neither of them really minded it too much.

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It didn't take long for Lily to become known as something of a master with hexes. She was particularly good with the stinging hex. And she had no qualms whatsoever about using it on bullies. In fact, she quickly became something of a defender of victimized students, especially when they weren't purebloods. Since her own victims rarely wanted to admit to being hexed by a young girl and most of the professors liked Lily too much to believe it anyway, she had yet to get in trouble for it.

It was early afternoon, and Lily was heading to Potions when she caught sight of three older boys in Ravenclaw colors gathered around a corner where a boy in Gryffindor robes was hugging the stone wall. He was a small, scrawny lad who had taken to tagging after James and the Black boy. But right now neither of his champions was in sight. And he looked downright terrified.

"What do you think you're doing?" Lily asked, marching up to the group.

The Ravenclaw boys, third and fourth years, turned around in mild surprise at the interruption.

"What does it look like?" the biggest boy asked with a cruel smile. "We're giving a lesson in respect."

Lily squared her shoulders and looked up at them with as much anger as she could manage. And considering she was a redhead, that was quite a lot.

"Leave him alone," she said dangerously.

"Oh, look who thinks she's tough," one of the boys chuckled.

"Maybe you need a lesson too," the biggest boy said.

He took a step forward, clearly meaning to grab her. But he never got the chance. Lily's wand was already in her hand, and it only took a split second for her to fling a stinging hex. It struck him right in the face. The boy howled and clutched at his face as it began to swell.

His two mates made as if to move forward, but they stopped when Lily leveled her wand.

"I know plenty more if you're feeling left out," she said fiercely.

The oldest boy pulled one hand away from his face, revealing that his left eye was already swollen shut.

"You're gonna regret this," he hissed.

"I doubt that," Lily said flatly.

The older boy gave her a deadly glare before storming off down the hallway. His two cronies hurried after him, leaving Lily alone with the Gryffindor boy.

"Thanks," he managed in a shaky voice.

"You can't let them get to you," Lily told him. "They pick on other people because they don't like themselves. If you stand up to them, they'll leave you alone."

"I'll try," the boy said. He didn't sound too sure.

"I'm Lily, by the way," Lily said. She smiled, and the boy tentatively smiled back.

"Peter," he said in a slightly stronger voice. "Peter Pettigrew."

"Come on, Peter," Lily said warmly. "We're going to be late for class."

She started off down the hall, and after a brief hesitation, Peter followed after her.

Word of what had transpired in the hallway did eventually get back to Professor McGonagall, who called Lily to her office for a stern lecture on the proper use of magic. She took ten points away from Gryffindor for using a stinging hex on a fellow student. And then she proceeded to give fifteen back for standing up to bullies. She also threw in a biscuit just for good measure, thereby forever securing her position as Lily's favorite professor.

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One of the downfalls of being a smart and talented witch was that the popular boys were always trying to get Lily to do their homework. Not help them with it. Actually do it for them. James in particular tried it more times than Lily could count. It wasn't that he couldn't do it. He was certainly smart enough. He just had better things to do with his time. And saying no only led to more nagging and bribery attempts. So when self-proclaimed bad boy Sirius Black finally tried to give it a go, Lily decided it was time to put an end to it once and for all.

She was sitting in the common room doing homework with Mary and Marlene when Sirius came in and dropped himself dramatically onto the couch.

"Evening, ladies," he said as he kicked both his feet up on the end of the couch. Marlene smirked a little at his attempt to be cool. Lily, however, was not amused.

"What do you want?" she asked without looking up from her essay.

"Actually, Evans, you're just the person I need," Sirius said in a sickly sweet voice. "See, I started on my History of Magic essay, and I realized I just don't fully understand the material. Not like you do. And since you're so smart and good at it, I wondered if maybe you would help me get started on it."

Lily just almost said no right there. But just before the words left her mouth, an idea struck her. A way to silence this particular irritant once and for all. She set down her quill and looked up at Sirius.

"I have a better idea," she said through narrowed eyes. "Wizard's chess. You and me. You win, I write your essay. But if I win, you stop treating me like an encyclopedia."

Sirius sat up on the couch, a devilish grin on his face.

"Evans, I was raised on Wizard's Chess," he said. "Have you ever even played?"

"I've played real chess," Lily told him coldly.

A ripple of murmurs ran through the common room. Almost all of the students were watching now. Even the older ones seemed intrigued. And Sirius was never one to disappoint his audience.

"You're on," he said.

Peter was sent upstairs to get Sirius' chess set while Marlene and Mary quickly cleared their things off the table they had been sitting at. Sirius sauntered over with his usual swagger and sat down across from Lily. Several of their fellow Gryffindors quickly gathered around to watch. Peter came running down the stairs with the chessboard a moment later, nearly tripping over the bottom step. Lily and Sirius set up their respective pieces in silence. Then Sirius motioned across the board.

"Ladies first," he said with that infuriating grin.

Lily made her first move, silently resolving to knock that stupid grin off his face. Sirius moved his own pawn to mimic Lily's, and they were off. While the invisible power struggle between them had drawn a quick crowd, Wizard's Chess was hardly as entertaining as Quidditch. The slow but steady pace of the game did little to help matters. Bit by bit, the crowd wandered away until only a small handful remained. The rest of the room merely glanced up every so often to check on the game's progress.

Lily and Sirius were completely oblivious to any of this. For them, the game was all that existed. Each move was carefully calculated and executed. It turned out that Sirius was actually quite smart. Far smarter than he let on. In terms of foresight and strategy, he and Lily were a remarkably even match. Not that it was some grand strategic spectacle. They were only eleven, after all. But it was still a good game. Lily had played a lot of chess with her father, but he was a bit set in his ways and she had nearly mastered the art of beating him. Sirius, however, kept him on her toes. He was good, and he knew it. But he was also cocky, and in the end, that proved to be his downfall.

It was an hour and a half after the game had begun that Lily's knight finally smashed through Sirius' king. She leaned back in her chair and crossed her arms.

"Checkmate," she said triumphantly.

James had entered the room at some point during the game, and he groaned.

"Come on, Black," he said. "You lost to a girl!"

Sirius was still staring down at the board as if he couldn't quite believe what had happened. Lily waited in silence for the snide remark sure to come. But when Sirius finally looked up, there was a strange expression on his face that Lily had never seen there before. It took her a moment to finally recognize what it was – respect.

"Good game," he said. A twinkle entered his eye as he quickly added, "For a girl."

"You too," Lily shot back. "For a boy."

Sirius grinned. Then he held out his hand over the chessboard. Lily hesitated briefly, suspecting a trap. But finally she reached out and took his hand. They shook firmly.

"Come on, Sirius," James said impatiently as their hands separated. "They're having Quidditch practice on the pitch. I want to go watch."

Sirius ordered his pieces to put themselves back together before quickly sweeping them onto the board. He handed it over to Peter, who had been standing there dutifully the whole game.

"Take that up, would you?" Sirius asked. He was already out of his seat and halfway to the door with James before Peter even managed to nod.

After the boys were gone, Mary and Marlene made their way back over to the table.

"Okay, what just happened?" Marlene asked in confusion.

"I won," Lily said innocently.

Marlene put her elbow on the table and rested her chin on her hand.

"That's not what I mean, and you know it," she said with a grin. "There is serious chemistry there. Maybe not romantic chemistry. More like 'let's hex all of Slytherin house in broad daylight and somehow get it blamed on someone else' chemistry. But it's definitely there."

"Shut-up and do your homework," Lily muttered as she turned her attention back to her essay.

Marlene just laughed.

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So there you have chapter one. Hopefully you guys liked it. If you did, please take a few seconds to leave a short review and let me know. I'm really excited about this story, and I've really put a lot of work into it. So feedback would really mean a lot. I'll try to have the next chapter up somewhere around Sunday. Hopefully you'll come back to see what happens next. Thanks for reading!


	2. Hogwarts: Year 2

Author's Note: Thanks so much to everyone who reviewed, favorited, or followed the last chapter. This chapter covers the second year Lily and the Marauders were at Hogwarts. There are two things I want to clarify before moving on. Firstly, this chapter has Sirius being pretty adamantly against blood status prejudice. Seeing as he's only twelve, I think at this point in his life, it's really more of a way to rebel against his parents. He's discovered this new ideology that his parents don't like, so he's flaunting it. But there will be later chapters where he begins to really struggle with it once he realizes that he's going to have to choose between this ideology and his family. Secondly, I want to explain my take on the early stages of James and Lily's relationship. I think Lily probably likes James as a person. She's just put off by his behavior. And as he gets older and those irritating behaviors start to deteriorate, so will Lily's apparent dislike of him. So it's not just that she hates his guts because I don't think she did. I think his behavior just served as a barrier to their friendship, as you'll see in this chapter. Enjoy!

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 **Hogwarts: Year 2**

It was the middle of the first night back, and Lily couldn't sleep. She had tossed and turned her way through every possible sleeping position. She had counted sheep in her head. She had even tried reading the new textbook for History of Magic. Nothing had worked. The room's other occupants had been sound asleep for hours, and Lily was still staring at the dim outline of the canopy above her bed.

Finally she sighed and gave up. She pulled back her blankets and swung her feet over the side of the bed into her waiting slippers. It was dark in the quiet room, but there was enough moonlight filtering between the two curtains for Lily to make out basic shapes. Her new copy of "The Fellowship of the Ring" was sitting on her bedside table. The whole trilogy had been a back-to-school present from her dad. ("If you're going to be learning about historical wizards, you might as well learn about the literary ones too," he had said.) Lily picked up the book before opening the drawer in her bedside table and taking out the bag of cookies her mother had made for her to eat on the train. Then she tiptoed toward the door and out of the room.

She could see firelight reflecting off the walls when she reached the stairs down to the common room. That wasn't unusual. The fires always burned through the night, which apparently would become extremely helpful in later years when excessive amounts of schoolwork required staying up well past any sensible hour. Or so Lily had been told. What was surprising, however, was when Lily reached the bottom of the stairs and saw a small form huddled on the couch.

Before she could tell who it was, the floor creaked beneath her foot. The head rising over the back of the couch whipped around, and Lily was met with the sight of Peter Pettigrew's frightened face. The firelight cast miniature rainbows in the tearstains on his cheeks. He quickly turned back around, rubbing at his face with his sleeves.

"What are you looking at?" he asked, his voice thick and watery.

Lily walked across the room and around to the other side of the couch so she could see his face. He was sitting with his knees to his chest and his arms locked tightly around them. There were two large damp patches on the knees of his pajama pants.

"Are you okay?" Lily asked softly.

"I'm fine," Peter said in a completely unconvincing tone.

His eyes were locked on the fire as if ignoring her would make her go away. But instead of leaving, Lily carefully sat down on the end of the couch. She opened the bag of cookies and held it out.

"Want one?" she asked. "My mum made them."

Peter looked up at her in mild surprise. When he realized she was serious, he very slowly reached out and took a cookie from the bag.

"Thanks," he said hoarsely.

Lily settled back against the couch as she pulled out her own cookie and took a bite.

"I can't sleep either," she said, looking toward the warm fire. "I love it here, but I miss my parents a little. My dad got really sad when they put me on the train. He doesn't like that I'm gone for so long. That's why he gave me this."

She held up the book in her hand so Peter could see it. Then, noticing that he had finished his cookie, she extended the bag again. Peter took another one with the barest hint of a smile. Lily set the bag down on the couch between them in a silent invitation for him to take more.

"My mom cried when I left," Peter finally said after silently chewing a bite of cookie. His voice was soft, and he wasn't looking at Lily as he said it.

"It's okay to miss her," Lily told him. "Everyone misses their parents sometimes. Even big, brave Gryffindors."

Peter smiles a little as Lily intended. On a sudden impulse, Lily held up the book in her hand.

"I thought I'd read a bit until I got tired," she said. "I can read out loud if you want."

"I'd like that," Peter admitted shyly.

Lily opened the book to its first page, and Peter very subtly shifted over a bit so he could see the pages better.

"When Mr. Bilbo Baggins of Bag End announced that he would shortly be celebrating his eleventy-first birthday with a party of special magnificence," Lily read in a silvery voice, "there was much talk and excitement in Hobbiton."

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Lily both loved and hated Potions. She loved it for two reasons. Firstly, she was good at it, a fact that made her extremely popular when it came time to study for tests. (Not that she wasn't already one of the most well-liked students in Gryffindor, but still.) Secondly, Professor Slughorn seemed to think she was the brightest little thing to ever walk the Earth. Which was saying a lot, considering that Severus spent half of class inventing better versions of potions. Although that usually meant he wasn't paying attention, which was probably why Professor Slughorn liked Lily more.

She also hated Potions for two reasons, and their names were Mulciber and Avery. The two bullying second-year Slytherins liked to take advantage of Professor Slughorn's open seating policy and sit near Severus and Lily so they could tease their fellow Slytherin about being friends with a Muggle-born. (That wasn't actually the term they used, but Lily wasn't about to repeat the other.) Today, however, Severus was out sick. Which meant Mulciber and Avery had decided to mock Lily instead.

Professor Slughorn had to take a student up to the hospital wing after their potion exploded, and the second the class was unattended, Mulciber pounced.

"Doing alright there, Evans?" he taunted. "Do you need someone intelligent to read the directions for you?"

"Why?" Lily asked coldly. "Do you know someone who can read?"

Remus, who was sitting with Peter at the desk in front of Lily, chuckled quietly to himself. Thankfully, Mulciber didn't hear the sound.

"You should show some respect, Evans," Avery spat. The clear sidekick in their dastardly duo, he wasn't exactly long on brains, to put it politely.

"Why?" Lily asked. "Because I don't happen to come from a long line of inbred Neanderthals?"

"You stupid Muggle-borns don't know your place," Mulciber sneered. "But you'll learn. Won't they, Black?"

Sirius and James were sitting at the desk next to Remus and Peter, putting them directly ahead of Mulciber and Avery. Clearly, the Slytherin duo was expecting a bit of back-up from a descendant of such a well-known wizarding family, particularly one with such outspoken ideas about bloodlines.

"Oh, Evans is definitely learning," Sirius said as he turned around to face his peers. "And she's doing it a lot faster than you, by the looks of it. Who was it that got their tea kettle to sing first in Transfiguration? Not you. Yours just exploded." He turned his steely grey eyes onto Avery. "And yours turned pink. Very impressive. But go ahead and pat yourselves on the back. Clearly you two have the makings of truly great wizards."

Under normal circumstances, Mulciber might have been willing to back down and resort to more underhanded tactics later. But by that point almost the entire class had fallen silent with all eyes on the power struggle currently occurring in the back of the room. And Mulciber couldn't afford to look weak in front of his audience.

"Watch it, Black," he said threateningly. "Keep talking like that and people might start thinking you're a blood traitor."

"Blood purity's a crock, you prig," Sirius informed him flatly. "Evans is outscoring you in every class we have. She's outscoring almost our entire year. She's got more talent than both you prats put together. She was right. Inbreeding has clearly damaged your tiny brains. But if clinging to your fancy names makes you feel better about your pathetic selves, then by all means, carry on."

The end of his rant was accentuated by Peter clapping enthusiastically. Mulciber shot the smaller boy a glare, causing him to quickly turn around and hunch over his cauldron.

"You better watch your back," Avery spat at Sirius.

"He doesn't have to," James said, finally deciding to join the conversation. He turned around in his seat and fixed both Slytherin boys with his trademark haughty smirk. "We've got his back. And hers," here he gestured at Lily, "and anybody else's that you're stupid enough to try and mess with. So really, you're the ones who should be watching your backs."

Whatever retort Mulciber might have come back with was cut short by the opening of the dungeon door. Professor Slughorn was back. The second-year students bent enthusiastically over their cauldrons and textbooks as he closed the door behind him.

"Now then," he said, walking back towards the front of the room. "Has anyone finished yet?"

Sirius made to turn back to his own work, but just before he did, he noticed Lily watching him with just the barest hint of a smile. He gave a subtle nod of acknowledgement before looking down at his textbook. Unfortunately, the ducking of his head opened up a clear line of sight from Lily to James, who gave her that same infuriating smile he used on all the girls. Lily rolled her eyes and returned her attention to her bubbling cauldron. Sirius Black might have turned out to have a decent streak running through him, but James Potter was still the same insufferable toerag as always.

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Ever since their first meeting in the library, Lily and Remus had developed a habit of meeting up once or twice a week to study. Today the weather was pleasantly warm, so they had taken up residence on a bench in the courtyard. They were supposed to be studying for their upcoming History of Magic exam. They had started out well enough, and the massive textbook was still open on Lily's lap. But as usually happened when they got together, they had ended up discussing Muggle life instead.

"Are you serious?" Lily asked with a laugh. "You actually read the whole thing?"

"I don't get out much at home," Remus said lightly. "I do a lot of reading."

"But you liked it?" Lily pressed.

"Yeah, I liked it," Remus said. He turned sideways on the bench and leaned back against the corner of the stone walls so he could look at Lily. "Why is that so hard to believe? It's a good book."

"I've just never met a boy who read 'Anne of Green Gables,'" Lily said, chuckling. "And I've certainly never met a boy who liked it."

"Anne's spunky," Remus said with a shrug. "She reminds me of you."

"'Cause she's got red hair?" Lily asked drily. Remus laughed.

"No," he said, shaking his head. "Because she's smart and imaginative and kind. I always thought we'd be friends if she were real."

"Of course you'd be friends," Lily said. "You're friends with everyone. Well, everyone with any sense."

"It's my irresistible charm," Remus joked.

"No," Lily said, giving his shoulder a playful shove. "It's because you're nice. You're one of the nicest people here. So I don't understand why you're always hanging around James Potter."

"He's not so bad," Remus informed her. He pulled his feet up onto the bench so his knees were raised in front of his chest.

"He's a bullying toerag," Lily said indignantly.

"Maybe sometimes," Remus admitted. "But he's loyal too. And he's really nice to me."

"He always gives me that flirty smile," Lily said, her brown furrowing in irritation. "It's like he thinks I'm some stupid airhead that's just going to fall over for him."

"It could be worse," Remus said with a grin. "He could call you Carrots."

"Well, if he keeps it up, I'm going to do more than just break a slate over his head," Lily retorted.

"I know he's full of himself," Remus told her. "But he's really not that bad. Besides, you're friends with Snape, and he hangs around kids that want to be Death Eaters."

"Severus is a good person," Lily insisted, immediately rushing to her friend's defense. "He just doesn't know it yet because he's never had any real friends but me. But he'll figure it out. I know it."

"If you say so," Remus said with a shrug.

He lifted his arms and rested them atop his raised knees. The motion caused the sleeves of his robes to fall back, revealing a series of nasty, partially-healed scratches on his left arm.

"What happened to your arm?" Lily asked in concern.

Remus shrugged.

"I fell down the stairs," he said simply. But he tugged his sleeve down over the bruises.

"You're doing it again," Lily said through narrowed eyes.

"Doing what?" Remus asked.

"You do this thing where you say something like it doesn't matter, but then you look away like it does," Lily said. Remus immediately looked away. "See? You're doing it now. What's wrong?"

Remus quickly pulled his gaze back up in a clear effort to meet Lily's eyes.

"Nothing," he said nervously.

"If you don't want to tell me, you don't have to," Lily told him. "Just don't lie to me. Okay?"

Remus sighed heavily, and his gaze fell again.

"Fine," he said. "I didn't fall down the stairs. I had an accident. But I don't want to talk about it."

"Okay," Lily said, shrugging her shoulders lightly. "But if you ever do, I'll listen."

"I know," Remus said with a hint of a smile.

The sound of running footsteps caused them both to look up. James Potter staggered to a halt in front of their bench, panting heavily. His hair was mussed like usual. Lily found herself wondering if it did that naturally or if he intentionally ruffled it in an effort to look cool.

"I've been looking for you everywhere," James gasped to Remus. "Quidditch tryouts are about to start!"

"So?" Remus asked in confusion. "They've already got everyone but the Beaters, and you said yourself you're no good for it."

"So?" James echoed. "We can still watch. It's Quidditch, Remus! Come on!"

"We have a really big test tomorrow," Lily reminded him.

"Lighten up, Evans," James told her. "It's a lovely day. Why waste it studying?"

"You're just saying that because you don't need to study," Remus said.

"I can't help that I'm brilliant," James said with his trademark smirk.

Lily rolled her eyes in exasperation. Remus looked over at her with an apologetic smile.

"Rain check?" he asked.

"Go ahead," Lily said, closing her massive textbook. "I think we covered most of it anyway."

"I'll see you around," Remus said as he pushed himself off the bench.

"Come on," James said impatiently.

He caught hold of Remus' robes and dragged him off across the courtyard. Lily shook her head as she watched them go. Honestly, what could Remus possibly see in that boy?

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The sight of James Potter in the library was not nearly as unusual as some people might have expected. Every student at Hogwarts ended up there eventually what with all the essays they had to write. So seeing James there was not uncommon. What was uncommon was finding him there alone. He always seemed to end up in the library with his little gang of friends, which tended to result in them getting thrown out. And if, by some miracle, his mates were nowhere in sight, then he split his time between reading and flirting with girls at nearby tables. Lily had never once seen him seriously studying. Mostly because he didn't need to. (Neither did she really, but that was entirely beside the point.) So when she walked into the library one day to return a Charms book and saw James sitting at a corner table dutifully combing through a stack of books with no company in sight, Lily knew something was up.

She made it all the way to the table and was standing right beside James before he even noticed she was there. When he did finally look up, he startled visibly. But then he grinned.

"See something you like, Evans?" he asked.

"I'm just marveling at the sight of the great James Potter studying," Lily said drily.

"I thought I'd try it out," James said with a shrug. "See if I liked it."

Lily made a noncommittal noise with her throat. She tilted her head so she could look down at the book James currently pouring over.

"Werewolves?" she said in surprise. "You know our essay's supposed to be on gargoyles."

"I finished that days ago," James said with a wave of his hand. "This is an extra credit thing. I forgot to turn in the homework on Pixies."

"And he's letting you make it up?" Lily asked, her eyebrows raised in disbelief. The D.A.D.A. professor had a very clear policy about never giving extra credit. Something else was going on here.

"What can I say?" James said innocently. "I'm irresistible."

"More like insufferable," Lily told him.

She turned to leave, but James' voice stopped her.

"Evans, wait!" he said. He sounded remarkably serious for once.

Lily hesitated briefly before turning around, only to find that his trademark smirk was gone.

"What?" she huffed.

"Since you're here, can I pick your brain about something?" James asked. "You did really well on werewolves last year, and I wasn't really paying much attention."

"Shocking," Lily said drily. She sighed. "I'm not writing your essay for you."

"Understood," James said.

"And if you try to flirt with me," Lily said, holding up her pointer finger, "I'm leaving."

"I'll do my very best not to flirt with you," James assured her.

Lily gave him a long look through narrowed eyes as she weighed her options. Something was definitely going on. But James seemed far too serious for this to be preparation for a prank.

Finally Lily pulled out the chair catty-corner to James and sat down.

"What do you want to know?" she asked.

"I get how a werewolf is created," James said, putting his hands atop the open book in front of him. "And I know there's no cure. But is there any way to… I don't know… suppress the symptoms? Maybe a potion or something?"

"People have tried lots of things to control the transformation, but so far nothing works," Lily informed him. "When the full moon comes, a werewolf turns into a feral animal. He can't remember anything about who he is. That's why they're so dangerous. They could even kill their own families."

"But they remember everything that happens while they're transformed," James added. He glanced down at the book as if turning something over in his head.

"Right," Lily said. "That's part of what makes it so horrible."

"It's not fair," James said angrily. "One little bite and their whole life is ruined."

He smacked the book in front of him with his open palm. Seeing this much frustration from him was surprising. And suddenly, much to Lily's surprise, she actually wanted to help.

"There is one thing," she said slowly. James looked up in interest. "Supposedly, if a werewolf is around animals when they transform, it keeps them calmer. It's never been completely confirmed, but it makes sense. Animals are immune to lycanthropy, so it's safe for them to be around a werewolf."

"And the werewolf would be less likely to hurt himself because he has company," James added. His eyes widened as the possibilities spun through his brain. He leaned forward across the book and rested his elbow on it so he could hold his pointer finger in the air. "So what about Animagi? You know, like McGonagall? If an Animagus was with a werewolf while in their animal form, would that work?"

"I don't know," Lily admitted. "Maybe. But you'd have a harder time finding an Animagus than a werewolf. They're incredibly rare. Becoming one is supposed to be incredibly complicated."

"But if you could find one, it would work," James said. An excited grin was slowly spreading across his face.

"It might," Lily said with a shrug. "I don't really know that much about Animagi. We don't learn about them until next year. You'd have to look it up. But maybe it would work."

James turned his raised hand into a fist and dropped it onto the book in front of him.

"Evans, you're brilliant," he said happily.

He pushed back his chair and stood up from the table.

"Where are you going?" Lily asked in confusion.

"To look up Animagi," James said as if it were the most obvious thing in the world.

"For your essay?" Lily said, tilting her head. James' smile faltered a bit, but he quickly regained his composure.

"Yeah," he said with a shrug. "What else?"

He turned away and began walking away from the table. He'd only made it a few steps when Lily suddenly called after him.

"Potter?" she blurted out.

"Yeah?" James said, turning back around.

"Take care of him," Lily said softly.

"Who?" James asked in confusion.

"You know," Lily told him.

"I don't-" James began slowly.

"Yeah, you do," Lily interrupted.

James ran his hand through his hair as a nervous chuckle escaped him. He looked like he was starting to sweat. That was all the confirmation Lily needed.

"Honestly, Evans, I don't know what you're talking about," he said.

"I'm talking about Remus," Lily said. She looked pointedly over at the stack of werewolf books and then back up at James. "An extra credit essay? Really?"

It was the first time Lily had ever seen James speechless. He stood there for a long moment, his hand frozen in his hair and his mouth hanging open. Then he took two quick strides back toward the table and dropped back down into his chair.

"How do you know?" he asked in a low whisper.

"Because I'm brilliant," Lily said with a hint of a smile.

"But really," James pressed. "We just figured it out, and we live with him. How'd you know?"

"Because I'm his friend," Lily said. "And I notice the little things. He disappears at the same time every month with a different excuse every time. And when he comes back, he looks like he hasn't slept in ages, and he's covered in bruises. And whenever someone brings up werewolves, he gets really quiet. And sometimes he makes jokes about them, but he always laughs too much and his eyes are still sad. I've wondered for a while, but I could never make myself ask him. But now I'm sure."

James was clearly impressed, as evidence by his raised eyebrows. But then his brow furrowed.

"Does he know-" James began.

"No," Lily interrupted. "And you're not going to tell him. He doesn't want me to know or he would've said something. So don't tell him. It'll just make him worry."

"I won't tell him," James assured her.

"He's a good person," Lily said strongly. "He's kind, and he's my friend. So you take care of him, James Potter, or I'll hex you into next week."

"I'll look out for him," James said seriously. "I always do."

Lily didn't really know what to say to that. She'd seen James stick up for kids on occasion, but she'd never really seen him truly care about anyone other than himself. Not like this. Maybe she had been wrong about him. Maybe there actually was a decent human being hiding in there after all.

Her train of thought was broken by the sound of running footsteps. She and James both looked up as Peter came running up to the table with a mischievous grin on his face.

"Sirius is looking for you," he said to James. "We're all set."

"Sorry, Evans," James said. He stood up and turned his usual flirtatious smirk toward Lily. "I hate to deprive you of my company, but it seems my services are needed elsewhere."

Lily rolled her eyes as he and Peter hurried out of the library. Moment of doubt officially over. So James Potter had occasional flashes of human decency. That didn't make him any less of an arrogant toerag. And he didn't even have the decency to put his books away. Honestly, the nerve of that boy.

* * *

Hopefully you guys enjoyed this chapter as much as the first one. Please take a few seconds to leave a quick review. Even if it's only a sentence or two, it'll still mean a lot to me. Reviews are the lifeblood of a fanfiction writer. Chapter three should be up sometime Wednesday. Until then, here's a little bit of a teaser - the next chapter includes Lily and Sirius teaming up for some payback that results in Lily's first detention. But to find out what exactly they get up to and why, you'll have to come back for chapter three. Thanks for reading!


	3. Hogwarts: Year 3

Author's Note: Thanks to everyone who has reviewed so far. I'm really glad you're enjoying this story. I'm pretty happy with this chapter, particularly the bit between Lily and Sirius. I absolutely love writing their friendship, especially when they're older, and their scene in this chapter shows the beginning of that close bond. Before moving on, I should probably clarify something about the scene with James. While he did bully Snape in the books, it also seems fairly clear to me that Snape's attitude toward the Marauders didn't help matters. (Sectumsempra, anyone?) So honestly, I think both sides are at fault. However, I think that Lily, much like James, has something of a blind spot when it comes to her close friends. That changes down the line after she and Snape stop being friends, but at this point in time, I think she has a very hard time finding any serious fault with Snape, as evidenced by the fact that they're still friends despite his fascination with the Dark Arts. So all of that to say that Lily is harsh on James in this chapter because she sees the whole ongoing situation with Snape as all James' fault, even though it really isn't. With that in mind, hopefully the James scene doesn't seem too far out there. Enjoy!

* * *

 **Hogwarts: Year 3**

It was a beautiful fall afternoon, and Gryffindor tower was completely empty. Well, completely empty except for Lily. Everyone else was out watching Gryffindor play against Slytherin in Quidditch. It was the first match of the season, and it was expected to be a terribly good one. Coincidentally, it was also James Potter's first match as chaser, although Lily couldn't have cared less about that. She had been tutoring a second-year Hufflepuff in Potions after lunch, and their session had run long. (The poor girl was sweet but dreadfully slow.) When they finally finished, Lily had dashed up to the tower long enough to drop off her books and grab her Gryffindor scarf. She took the stairs down from the girls dorm two at a time, and she was running across the common room while putting on her scarf when the portrait door suddenly opened. Lily stumbled to a halt as she found herself face-to-face with a battered Peter.

"What happened to you?" she gasped.

Peter's jumper was covered in dirt, his collar was stained, and his tie was just barely holding on. His hair was a mess as well. There was also dirt across his face, but that wasn't what had truly shocked Lily. His face was a terribly sight to behold. He had a black eye, a split lip, a cut across his eyebrow, and a nasty yellow bruise on his cheek.

"It's nothing," Peter muttered, his eyes downcast. He tried to move past Lily, but she caught his arm. A sharp gasp from Peter caused her to immediately let go.

"That is not nothing," Lily said angrily. "What happened?"

"I fell down the stairs," Peter said without looking up.

"Bullocks," Lily said, her voice stern as steel. "Try again."

Peter looked up, and Lily was shocked to see fear in his eyes.

"Mulciber and Avery," he whispered.

"They did this to you?" Lily demanded. Peter nodded.

"I was going to watch the match, and they jumped me," he said. His eyes widened as he quickly added, "You can't tell the boys. They'll think I can't handle myself."

"Peter, you were attacked," Lily said in disbelief. "That's not anything to be ashamed of."

Peter caught hold of Lily's wrist in an iron grip.

"Promise you won't tell them," he said fiercely. His fingers dug into her wrist so tight it hurt. Lily still hesitated, but the fear in his eyes finally won her over.

"Fine," she conceded. "But you need to go see Madam Pomfrey."

"I'm fine," Peter said, letting go of her wrist.

"I'd feel a lot better hearing it from her," Lily told him.

"I said, I'm fine," Peter practically yelled. There was fire in his eyes now. But Lily was not about to be intimidated.

"There's a difference being brave and being stupid," she said sternly. "Your eye's gonna swell up a lot more. And it's gonna hurt too. And that cut could get infected if it's got dirt in it. If you don't want to go to the hospital wing, fine. But you're gonna let me take a look."

Her steely eyes and firm voice left no room for argument. Peter's shoulders slumped as he realized the fact.

"Fine," he said quietly.

"Sit," Lily ordered, pointing at the couch. "I'll be right back."

She hurried up the stairs to the girls bathroom, where she grabbed up a washrag and wet it. Then she ran back downstairs. Part of her was worried that Peter would have gone up to his room instead of waiting, but she found him sitting obediently on the couch in front of the fireplace. Lily sat down next to him on the edge of the couch.

"Let me see," she said, reaching out and gently taking his chin in her left hand. She carefully turned his head a bit so the sunlight streaming through the large windows fell across the various bruises.

"This may hurt a little," Lily said apologetically.

She lifted the damp cloth and touched it to the cut on Peter's face. He hissed as soon as it made contact. Lily winced at the sound.

"Sorry," she said.

She washed the cut as gently as she could, although Peter's tense posture spoke to just how much it stung. Then Lily carefully wiped the rest of the dirt from his face. Peter didn't say a word the whole time. He didn't look at her either, his eyes focused firmly on his lap.

"I can't believe they did this to you," Lily said softly. She gently touched the purple skin around Peter's eye, and he winced.

"I think it was payback," Peter muttered, still looking down at his lap. "James and Sirius made them look like idiots earlier. But they attacked me because I'm an easier target. I'm weak and a coward."

Lily took Peter's chin firmly between her thumb and forefinger, tilting it up so he would finally look her in the eyes.

"Don't you ever talk about yourself like that," she said firmly. "One, who cares if you're weaker? You've got magic, and that's a field where physical strength doesn't matter. You can be just as powerful as they are. And two, you are not a coward. The Sorting Hat put you in Gryffindor, and it doesn't make mistakes. You've got courage somewhere in there. You just have to find it."

"You think so?" Peter whispered.

"I know it," Lily said.

She smiled warmly, and the corner of Peter's mouth pulled up just a little in response.

"Now," Lily said, letting go of Peter's chin. She pulled out her wand and held it up. "Let's see what we can do about that eye."

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Gryffindor won their first match, which meant there was a huge party in the tower that night. Practically the entire house crammed itself into the common room. Music blared from the radio. Food and drinks were everywhere. Everyone was talking and laughing. Even Peter, whose eye now looked completely normal thanks to Lily, had a smile on his face as he listened to James give their peers a dramatic play-by-play of the entire match.

Lily herself was sitting on the far side of the room where Mary and Marlene were also discussing the game with fifth-year students Alice and Dorcas. But Lily herself was only barely listening. Most of her focus was directed at Peter laughing beside James. Mulciber and Avery had taken it too far this time. Something would have to be done. But Peter was adamant about not taking the incident to McGonagall, which meant Lily would have to take matters into her own hands.

Sirius had been standing next to his mates as James detailed his exploits, but now he broke away and headed for the table where several students had deposited a stash of candy from Honeydukes. Lily took that as her moment to strike. She excused herself from the girls, and hurried over to the table as well. She reached it at the same moment Sirius did.

"Evans," Sirius said with a nod in her direction. "You ready for Charms tomorrow?"

Lily and Sirius had both proved themselves to be quite adept at Charms. As a result, they had quickly become rivals in the class. Their competitive nature had led to a few small accidents, but nothing truly catastrophic. Yet. Outside of class, however, they maintained a fairly healthy respect for each other's abilities.

"You have a minute?" Lily asked, ignoring the jibe. "I need your help with something."

"Oh?" Sirius said with a grin. "And what might that be?"

Lily glanced back across the room to where James currently had his arm slung around Peter's shoulders. Remus was perched on a nearby chair arm laughing at their antics.

"It's about Peter," Lily said quietly. "But you have to promise you won't freak out, because you're gonna want to freak out."

"Okay," Sirius said, his smirk fading just a bit as his forehead wrinkling in confusion.

"Mulciber and Avery beat him up," Lily said.

"What?!" Sirius cried.

"Shh!" Lily hissed. She glanced hurriedly over her shoulder, but no one seemed to have heard him over the music and laughter.

"When?" Sirius demanded in a quieter tone.

"Before the match," Lily explained. "I was headed over, and Peter came in looking like a mess. His clothes were dirty, and he had a black eye."

"He looks okay," Sirius said, looking over at his friend.

"I patched him up," Lily said. "That's why we were late."

"He told me he walked into a door," Sirius said. There was a dangerous tone in his voice now, although Lily knew his anger wasn't directed at Peter.

"He didn't want any of you to know," Lily admitted. "He made me promise not to tell. But he won't tell McGonagall either, which is why I had to tell you. Mulciber and Avery crossed a line. Somebody has to do something about it."

Sirius turned his gaze back to Lily, and his eyes narrowed.

"Why me?" he asked suspiciously.

"Because if I told James, he'd kill them both," Lily said bluntly.

"Good point," Sirius admitted.

"Besides," Lily added. "We're so good at working against each other that I figured we could do something pretty big if we put our heads together."

Sirius nodded slowly. Then he crossed his arms over his chest.

"Okay, I'm in," he said. "What did you have in mind?"

"I was hoping you'd have an idea," Lily admitted. "This is sort of your department."

"My department is pranks," Sirius corrected. "What you need is a statement. Still…"

Sirius pursed his lips as he thought. Lily waited in silence. It wasn't long before a dark smile spread across Sirius's face.

"I think I know just the thing," he said.

What proceeded to occur in the third-year Charms class the next afternoon would go down in Hogwarts history as the Great Possession Incident of '73. Over the course of the class, Mulciber and Avery became mute, levitated out of their seats, found their feet dancing uncontrollably, went flying across the class, began howling as if they were being tickled, had their wands fly from their hands, found themselves able to speak only in German, and had the ends of their robes burst into flames. In short, nothing got done that day. Most of the chaos was the result of minor Charms that Professor Flitwick could easily reverse, although he had to repeatedly stop class to do so. The continual interruptions caused him to become quite irritated. His students, however, were thoroughly amused, and laughed louder with each incident. Peter in particular seemed pleased with the outcome. Mulciber and Avery were beside themselves. By the time class finally ended, they were convinced they were being haunted.

Unfortunately, one of their fellow Slytherins caught sight of two wands moving under the desks just before Mulciber and Avery's robes burst into flames. That led to a very cross McGonagall calling Sirius and Lily to her office. She couldn't prove anything beyond the Fire-Making Charm, although it was clear that she suspected the rest. But neither Sirius nor Lily would admit to anything more.

"I am shocked at your behavior," McGonagall told them sternly. "This is outrageous even for you, Mr. Black. And you, Ms. Evans? I expect better from you. I am extremely disappointed in you both. Do you have anything at all to say for yourselves?"

"Well, since they seem to enjoy picking on other students so much, we just thought they should know what it feels like," Sirius said with a hint of his usual cockiness.

"I see," McGonagall said flatly. "Well, in the future, perhaps you could find a more diplomatic way of handling such matters. As for today's incident, I am giving you both detention. You will report to this office immediately after dinner this evening. Dismissed."

Sirius and Lily both stood up from their chairs and headed to the door.

"This incident wouldn't have anything to do with what happened to your friend Mr. Pettigrew, would it?" McGonagall asked just as Sirius' hand touched the doorknob.

Sirius somehow managed to keep a fairly straight face as he turned back around, but Lily's jaw fell open in surprise.

"I'll take that as a yes," McGonagall said.

"How did you-" Lily began.

"I know a great deal more about what goes on at this school than either of you can imagine," McGonagall said simply. "You should know that Professor Slughorn has been informed of yesterday's incident. Both Mr. Mulciber and Mr. Avery will be dealt with."

"Thank you, Professor," Sirius said honestly.

"While I admire your loyalty," McGonagall told them, "I must ask that next time you settle for a more peaceful solution. Or ask a professor for help. We're not just here to teach you."

"We'll remember that, Professor," Lily said. There was just a hint of a smile on her face.

"Good," McGonagall said with a firm nod. "Now go."

Lily opened the door, and both students walked out into the hallway. Sirius caught the doorknob and pulled the door closed behind them.

"So," he said, looking over at Lily. "Your first detention, Evans. Any regrets?"

Lily shook her head and grinned.

"Nope."

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The main advantage to being a third-year student was that Lily was old enough to go into Hogsmeade village on the weekends. Usually she went down with the other Gryffindor girls around her age, and together they spent an afternoon making the rounds through all the different shops in the quaint village. This particular winter Saturday, however, Lily had gone into town with Severus. It was becoming increasingly harder to catch him away from his disturbing Slytherin friends, so when he had asked Lily to accompany him, she had jumped at the chance.

They were currently sitting in The Three Broomsticks drinking Butterbeers while Severus showed Lily a notebook with his newest potion improvements. The room around them was filled with the gentle hum of conversation. A warm fire roared in the stone fireplace, making the room nice and cozy. Fresh snow could be seen falling beyond the smudged windows. An occasional gust of cold air shot through the room whenever the door opened, but the fire kept the sharp chill at bay.

"But if you cut them up before you put them in," Severus explained excitedly, "then the smaller pieces dissolve more thoroughly-"

"Which makes the potion stronger," Lily said with a grin. Severus rarely got excited about anything other than potions. But when he did get excited, it was contagious.

"Exactly," Severus said. He tapped his notes triumphantly with his pointer finger. Lily shook her head as she glanced down at the altered recipe scrawled across the page.

"You're amazing," she said with a chuckle. She looked back up at her friend. "How do you figure this stuff out?"

"I don't know," Severus admitted. "It just comes to me."

"Professor Slughorn better watch out, or you're gonna take his job," Lily joked before taking a drink of her Butterbeer.

"Maybe someday I will," Severus said seriously. "I think I'd like teaching potions."

"Well, you'd certainly be good at it," Lily told him.

A sudden cold breeze caused her to look up as the door to The Three Broomsticks opened. Lily groaned inwardly as James Potter and his friends walked in.

"Great," she muttered. "Potter's here."

"Let's go," Severus said quickly. He reached out to close his notebook, but Lily put her hand on top of his.

"Wait," she said. "Maybe he won't see us. Besides, I want to finish my Butterbeer."

Severus withdrew his hand and wrapped it was well as his other one tightly around his tankard. Lily unconsciously hunched her shoulders a bit as she watched the group of boys over Severus' shoulder. The four of them headed up to the bar and ordered their own Butterbeers. Then they began looking for seats. Sure enough, James' eyes somehow managed to find Lily across the room. He pointed her direction, and the four of them began to make their way through the maze of tables.

"Oh, Merlin," Lily groaned. "Here they come."

Severus' jaw clenched, and his grip on his tankard tightened to the point that his knuckles were white. And then Potter's gang, as most of Gryffindor house called it, was upon them.

"Afternoon, Evans," James said with his usual cheeks. "Snivellus. Nice to see you outside of the dungeons. Maybe you'll actually get some color in that pale skin."

"What do you want, Potter?" Lily asked coldly.

"Well, from back there, it looked like Snivelly's hair was a bit shinier than usual," James said in a mocking tone. "I thought maybe he'd finally decided to wash it. But now that I'm here, I can see that it's just as greasy as ever."

Severus' hands twitched against his tankard. This was not going to end well.

"What is your problem?" Lily demanded.

"I'm smart, good looking, and talented," James said dramatically. "Most men only possess two of those qualities. To have to carry all three is really quite a burden."

Sirius and Peter laughed behind him. Lily hadn't really expected any less from them. She and Sirius might occasionally land on the same side, but whenever James was around, he was still a prat. And Peter idolized James far too much to find fault with him. Remus, however, looked highly uncomfortable. Lily made eye contact with him over James' shoulder, and his posture seemed to slump a bit.

"Come on, James," he said nervously. "Let's just go."

"But we're getting along so well," James said. He clapped the hand not holding his mug down on Severus' shoulder. It was a wonder the tankard in Severus' hand didn't shatter.

"Leave him alone," Lily ordered. "Go find someone else to bully."

Truth be told, James was quickly growing bored, and he probably would have complied within short order. Unfortunately, he never got the chance. A large man at the table behind Severus and Lily's table chose that moment to stand up. In so doing, he backed his chair into James, who was jolted forward slightly. His frothing mug sloshed Butterbeer onto the table. Which probably would've been fine, had it not been for the lion's share of it landing on Severus' precious notebook.

Severus all but threw his own tankard further down the table as he lunged for his drenched notebook. Lily could only stare in shock.

"You alright there?" James asked.

To his credit, he actually did sound a bit concerned. But the question was too much for Severus. He twisted around in his seat and punched James in the gut. James doubled over in pain, backing into the chair that had knocked him only a few seconds before. Sirius immediately tried to lunge at Severus, but Remus caught hold of his free arm and managed to just hold him back. James, having recovered from the sudden blow, shoved Severus backwards into the table.

"Stop it!" Lily cried. She was out of her chair and around the table in a flash, placing herself between the two boys. "Stop it, both of you!"

Remus too stepped into the middle as best he could while still keeping Sirius at bay.

"Let it go," he said firmly. "He's not worth it."

James indignantly straightened his coat while glaring daggers past Lily.

"You better watch out, Snivellus," he said, holding up a threatening finger. "Your girlfriend won't always be here to save you."

"You're the one she's saving," Severus spat. He tried to lunge forward, but Lily put her arm firmly across his chest.

"Don't do anything stupid," she ordered. Severus shook her arm off, but he stopped pushing.

"Let's go," Remus said. He waited until his three friends had begun stalking off toward an empty table before turning to Lily and whispering, "Sorry."

"Why do you let them do that?" Lily asked, hurt evident in her voice. Remus' shoulders slumped further in shame.

"I don't know," he admitted.

He shrugged helplessly and walked off after the others. Lily turned around to Severus, who was using a spell to pull the Butterbeer out of the damp pages. The liquid was pooling around the notebook as it slowly flowed out.

"Can you fix it?" Lily asked in concern.

"The Butterbeer will come out," Severus said, his voice strained. "Some of the ink ran, so I'll have to recopy the pages."

"Sev," Lily said softly. She reached out to lay a hand on his shoulder, but he shrugged her off.

"Let's just go," he said, closing the dried notebook. "I have Astronomy homework to finish."

He pushed past Lily and headed toward the door. Lily sighed. So much for their afternoon together. Curse James Potter! Before today, he had just been a highly irritating bully. But now… Now Lily was starting to think she just might hate him.

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The spring term was slowly drawing to a close, and final exams were now looming ahead. They hadn't really given Lily that much trouble her first two years. She had a certain knack for remembering things, so if she paid attention in class, she did fine. This year, however, the material had really stepped it up a notch. Lily wasn't exactly worried, per say, but she was feeling the need to study a little harder.

She and Remus had met up in the library to study for their Herbology final. Although it was quickly becoming apparent that Remus was having trouble staying focused. He kept yawning and rubbing at his eyes. Half the time he didn't even hear whatever Lily asked him.

"Maybe we should just do this tomorrow," Lily said after she had to ask him the same question three times.

"No, I'm good," Remus said. He shook his head as if to clear it. "Keep going."

"You're clearly exhausted," Lily pointed out. "And wherever your mind is, it's certainly not Herbology."

"I know, I know," Remus said. He rubbed his eyes vigorously with the heels of his hands. "I just had a long night. I had an upset stomach. Didn't get much sleep. And I'm worried about Sirius."

Gryffindor Tower had woken up that morning to the news that Sirius had fallen down a moving staircase in the middle of the night and landed himself in the hospital wing. James and Peter had gone to see him between classes, but Remus had declined to visit.

"He's going to be fine," Lily said gently.

"I know," Remus said with a nod. But his eyes had drifted down to his textbook.

Lily hesitated a moment, trying to decide whether or not she should tip her hand. Finally she decided she didn't have any other option. She took a quick look around to make sure there was no one else in earshot before leaning across the table slightly.

"It's not your fault," she said softly.

Remus' head jerked up, and there was panic in his eyes.

"What?" he asked.

"What happened to Sirius," Lily elaborated. "It's not your fault."

"Of course not," Remus said. He gave a dry chuckle, but it sounded forced. And his gaze had once more dropped down to his textbook. "The prat fell down a flight of stairs."

"For someone so smart, you can be really thick sometimes," Lily said with a shake of her head. Remus looked up at her in confusion. "I know, Remus."

"Know what?" Remus asked nervously.

"About you," Lily said. "About your condition. You know, full moon and all that."

"I-I… But you…" Remus stammered, trying to form a coherent response. Lily charged ahead.

"It's okay," she assured him. "I've known for a while now. I figured it out. But I don't mind. You didn't choose to be like this. You just are, and that's that."

"How can you even look at me?" Remus asked softly. "I'm dangerous, Lily. I'm a monster."

"Don't you ever call yourself that," Lily said fiercely. "You are not a monster, Remus Lupin. You are good and kind, and you would never hurt anyone on purpose. Ever. You're my friend. One of the best I have. And I'm not just gonna drop you for something that's not your fault. You're a good person, and I'm proud to be your friend."

Remus' eyes were shining by the time she finished.

"Thank you," he said softly. Lily smiled at him in response. Remus let out a heavy breath. "How long have you known?"

"About a year," Lily admitted.

Remus' eyes widened in surprise.

"That long?" he said.

"I suspected sooner, but I wasn't sure until then," Lily said with a shrug. "I kept hoping maybe you'd tell me. But you never did."

Remus looked down at the book again.

"It's not that I don't trust you," he said quietly. His fingers toyed idly with the corner of the foremast page of his book as he talked. "I do trust you. But you're my friend. I never had friends before I got here. I was worried that if you knew, we'd stop being friends. People are scared of werewolves. They treat us differently. Like we're freaks." He looked up, and there was a heartbreaking vulnerability in his eyes. "I didn't want you looking at me like that."

"I know what that's like," Lily admitted. Now it was her turn to look away. "My sister calls me a freak. I know she just says it because she's jealous that I've got magic and she doesn't. I know I shouldn't listen to her. But sometimes I can't help it. Sometimes she gets inside my head and I wonder if she's right. If I really am just a freak."

"You're not a freak," Remus said strongly. "You're amazing. You're smart and kind and brave and one of the most talented witches here. And if your sister can't see how amazing you are, then she's the freak. Not you."

Lily could feel her eyes starting to burn as a smile crossed her face.

"You're not so bad yourself," she said. Her smile slipped a bit, and she sighed. "We can't listen to what people say about us because they're wrong. And someday we're gonna prove it to them. But for right now, you have to stop beating yourself up. I know Sirius and the others are trying to help you out by becoming Animagi-"

"How do you know that?" Remus interrupted with wide eyes.

"I was sort of the one who gave James the idea," Lily admitted. "Plus they started asking all sorts of questions about it in Transfiguration. Then before Christmas they all talked funny for a month. And Peter actually asked me outright if I knew a way to get the taste of Mandrake leaf out of his mouth. He's sweet, but he's not very bright."

Remus chuckled a little at that.

"He tries," he said.

"The point," Lily continued, "is that I know they're trying to help you. So I'm betting Sirius didn't fall down a flight of stairs."

"No," Remus said softly. His shoulders slumped, and he suddenly sounded far older than he was.

"Whatever happened, it wasn't your fault," Lily told him.

"I hurt him," Remus said in a tone barely above a whisper. "I hurt one of my best friends."

"You didn't hurt him," Lily said. "The wolf did. And that's not your fault. You can't control it."

When Remus didn't respond, Lily reached across the table and laid her hand atop his. Remus jumped a little at the contact, but then he slowly looked back up.

"You didn't mean to hurt him," Lily said firmly. "Sirius knows that. And Madam Pomfrey said he's gonna be fine. So you have to stop blaming yourself."

Remus forced a small nod.

"I'll try," he said.

"Good," Lily said. She squeezed his hand before letting go. "I know I don't understand exactly what it's like for you. But do I know what it's like to have people judge you for something that's not your fault. I'm a Muggle-born, and that's not always a very popular thing to be around here. So in a way, we're sort of in the same boat. Which is why we have to stick together, okay?"

Remus smiled, and the sight of it warmed Lily's heart.

"Okay," he said.

"Okay," Lily repeated. She looked down at the Herbology textbook in front of her and sighed. "But right now, we have to figure out a way to cram this mountain of information into our tiny heads."

* * *

And there you have year three. Please leave a short review before you go. And thanks again to everyone who already has. For all you Jily fans reading this, don't worry. The Jily ship will be here soon enough. In fact, the Lily and James scene in the next chapter will plant the first seeds of the romance to come. And it will be posted on Halloween, coincidentally enough. (Okay, so maybe I did that on purpose.) The next chapter will also show Lily's reaction to Sirius sending Snape into the Shrieking Shack on a full moon. (That also seemed appropriate for Halloween.) But that's all I'm saying until the next update. Hopefully getting a new chapter on that day will give all the Jily fans something to look forward to while you cry your eyes out. Thanks for reading!


	4. Hogwarts: Year 4

Author's Note: This chapter marks the middle point in the Hogwarts careers of Lily and the Marauders. Some quick points before you start reading. The second half of this chapter is about the aftermath of the Whomping Willow incident where Sirius sent Snape into the Shrieking Shack on a full moon. Most stories have that in a later year, but I have some really good stuff planned for both James and Sirius in the remaining Hogwarts chapters, so this was the latest I could put it in. But it does happen in the second half of the school year, so they're all fifteen. Also, Lily's blind spot with regards to Snape really shows through here. So while she does raise some good points in the scene with Sirius, keep in mind that not everything she says is necessarily true. That's just how she sees it because of her friendship with Snape. And for those of you Jily fans, hopefully you'll like the Lily and James bit. :) Enjoy!

* * *

 **Hogwarts: Year 4**

Potions was not Peter's strong suit. He could follow directions well enough, but when it came to remembering recipes or understanding how certain ingredients reacted together or tweaking brews for better potency, he tended to fail miserably. Thankfully, his own creations didn't tend to blow up like some. They just didn't work. Which was why he had asked Lily to help tutor him in the subject.

"And if it turns all blue and bubbly, that means what?" Lily asked, looking up from the red Gryffindor chair where she sat with the Potions textbook in her lap.

Peter was leaning forward in his own chair with his elbows on his knees, and his leg began to bounce as he tried to think.

"That… you did something wrong?" he offered with a wince.

"But what exactly?" Lily pressed.

"You…" Peter trailed off and shook his head. "Nope. I've got nothing."

"It means you used too much aconite," Lily told him.

Peter leaned back in the chair with a loud groan. His hands came up to cover his face and then slid down his cheeks, causing his face to look briefly as if it were melting.

"I'm never gonna get this," he muttered as his hands dropped into his lap.

"Yes, you will," Lily told him. She pulled her right foot up under her in an effort to get more comfortable. "A lot of Potions just comes down to knowing how the ingredients affect one another. Some people have an instinct for it. You don't. But that's okay. It just means you have to go over it and over it until it's stuck in your head."

Peter put his left elbow on the arm of the chair and rested his head against his hand.

"This is ridiculous," he said. "Why do I even need Potions? When am I ever actually gonna use any of this?"

"You might need some of the poison antidotes," Lily pointed out.

"Yeah, well, I'm not planning on getting poisoned," Peter told her.

"I don't think anybody actually plans on getting poisoned," Lily said, trying to suppress a smile.

"Okay, fine," Peter conceded. He lifted his head from his hand and let it fall instead against the high back of his chair. "But a Shrinking Solution? Really? When would I ever use that?" He held up his pointer finger as a thought occurred to him. "Now what I could use is that Wit-Sharpening Potion Slughorn was going on about. Maybe then I could actually pass this class."

"We learn that one next week," Lily told him.

"Doesn't mean I'll be able to make it," Peter said irritably. "The others could. Even Remus could do it, and he hates Potions. And James? James could do it perfectly the first time."

"But you're not James," Lily informed him. "And personally, I'm okay with that."

"He's not so bad," Peter said.

"Yeah, well, we're not here to talk about Potter," Lily said. She turned the page of the Potions book in her lap and studied the next recipe briefly while she tried to think of a question. "Okay, what happens if you take more than two vials of a Girding Potion?"

"Bad things?" Peter offered.

Lily shot him an unimpressed look.

"Honestly, Peter, sometimes it's like you don't even try," she told him.

"I do," Peter insisted. He shifted his back so he was sitting up straighter in the chair. "Really, I do. I just can't get my head around it for some reason. It's not like Charms or Transfiguration where you just have to remember the words and the movement and you can do it." He waved his empty hand as if casting a spell. "There's too much you have to remember in Potions. I don't just get it like James does."

"Oh, for Merlin's sake," Lily muttered. She let her head fall back against the back of her chair. "Will you stop going on about Potter? Every time we meet it's Potter this and Potter that. If you keep carrying on about him, you're gonna have to find yourself a new tutor."

"What is it with you and James?" Peter asked in amazement. "You like everybody. You get along with more Slytherins than anyone I know. So how come you don't like James?"

"How come you do?" Lily retorted.

"Because he's amazing," Peter said. "He's smart and talented and brave and funny. He's incredible on a broom. And he's amazing with girls."

"He's also an arrogant bully," Lily shot back. "And he hexes my best friend, which is not okay."

"I seem to remember you hexing a Ravenclaw our first year," Peter pointed out with a grin.

"That was different," Lily said strongly. "And it was to protect you, so shut-up."

Peter held up his hands in a non-threatening gesture.

"All I'm saying is that you should give James a chance," he said. "He's been good to me. And to Remus and Sirius."

"That doesn't mean you should try to be him," Lily said.

"I don't," Peter said indignantly.

"You do," Lily insisted. She shifted in her chair so she was sitting a bit more sideways with a better view of Peter. "You dress like him. You tried out for Quidditch like him. You even tried to make your hair look like his last year. You remember how well that worked out? It was blue and stringy for a week. You follow him around like some sort of lost puppy."

"It's not like that," Peter said firmly. He crossed his arms over his chest in irritation. "I'm not his wimpy sidekick. I'm his friend."

Lily stuck her finger in the Potions book to hold her page before flipping the book closed. The current situation required her full attention.

"I'm not saying you're not," she assured Peter. "I'm saying don't try to be like James Potter. You try so hard to be him that sometimes I think you don't know who you are. But Merlin knows this school doesn't need any more James Potters. So stop trying to be him and go figure out who Peter Pettigrew is. You won't ever be happy if you're always trying to be someone else. And who cares if you're not the smartest or the best at Quidditch? At least you'll be you."

Peter nodded thoughtfully as her words sunk in. Then he grinned.

"How much do I owe you for that session?" he asked.

"The first one's free," Lily said with a smile. "After that, I accept payment in chocolate frogs."

The statement drew a laugh from Peter, and Lily found herself chuckling a little too.

"Alright, enough of that," Lily said. She looked down at her lap as she flipped the Potions book back open. "Let's try another one. If you're making a Girding Potion, you have to put in the dragonfly thoraxes a few at a time and heat it up in between. Why? What happens if you put them all in at once?"

"Well," Peter said drily, "if you're me, the Potions master threatens to fail you unless you find yourself a tutor."

Lily just laughed.

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When it came to Hogwarts parties, there was none more lavish or prestigious than Professor Slughorn's annual Slug Club Christmas party. For Lily to have been invited was indeed a deep honor. Mary and Marlene had been convinced since their first year that Lily would eventually be asked to join the Slug Club. And now they had finally been proved right. Granted, there were still a few more hoops to jump through before Professor Slughorn finally settled on his precious handful of prized initiates. But Lily wasn't thinking about any of that. Part of that was because she really didn't care about whether or not she made the Slug Club, although her entry was all but guaranteed considering how much Professor Slughorn liked her. But the real reason Lily wasn't worried was that she was far more focused on the night ahead. She was going to a party – a real, stylish Christmas party – in a beautiful white dress that some of the Gryffindor girls had helped her pick out. And Remus was going with her. Strictly as friend, of course, but still. As much as Lily loved Professor Slughorn, some of the kids in his club were a bit dull. Having Remus along would make sure it was a fun evening.

She had originally thought that maybe she could go to the party with Severus, seeing as he was one of the potential initiates as well. But then they'd had a fight about the dark fascinations of his other friends, and Severus had ended up asking a Slytherin girl to go with him instead. At first, Lily had been deeply hurt. Now, however, she wondered if going with Remus wouldn't end up being more fun anyway. Severus was still technically her best friend, but he had become quite dark and moody lately. And Lily wanted to be able to enjoy herself tonight.

"Well?" she asked, twirling around so her friends could see the full effect of the dress they had chosen. "What do you think?"

"You look amazing," Alice said with a grin. She and Dorcas were leaning against the end posts of Lily's bed. Mary was lying on the bad on her stomach with her head propped up on her hands. Marlene sat cross-legged beside her.

"Absolutely stunning," Marlene said in amazement.

"If that doesn't get you a boyfriend, nothing will," Mary added.

"You make her sound like a lost cause," Dorcas said as she gave Mary's head a playful shove.

"Oh, she is most definitely not," Mary said, lifting her head. "She's already been asked out three times this term. That's even more than me." She shook her head at Lily. "And you turned them all down. Even the Hufflepuff Seeker, who is stunningly cute. Honestly, what is wrong with you?"

"Jealous much?" Marlene teased. Mary made a face at her.

"I just didn't like any of them like that," Lily said with a shrug. "Besides, we're only fourteen. We're supposed to be having fun, not fawning after idiot boys."

"And speaking of fun," Alice said, pushing herself away from the bedpost. "You better get going, Cinderella, or you're gonna be late for the ball."

"Make sure you have some fun," Dorcas told her. "Don't let all the stuffy academics dominate your evening."

"I'd be asking them all for autographs," Marlene suggested. Dorcas shrugged as if that too were acceptable.

"Get a good dance in," Mary said as she shifted into a sitting position. "I've heard Remus is a really good dancer."

"And eat something yummy for me," Marlene added. "The food at those things is supposed to be absolutely divine."

"Thanks," Mary muttered. "Now I'm hungry."

"We could always gatecrash," Dorcas offered. Mary nodded thoughtfully, but Alice gave Dorcas' arm a light whack.

"There will be no gatecrashing," Alice said firmly. Dorcas rubbed her arm as though injured, but Alice was pointedly ignoring her in favor of Lily. "Now stop distracting her. At this rate, she'll never get there."

"Don't wait up," Lily said, heading for the door.

"Oh, we will," Dorcas assured her.

"And we'll want to hear all the gory details," Mary added.

Lily shook her head and stepped out of the dorm. It was a short trip down the stairs. The common room was only about half-full when she reached it. James, Sirius and Peter were all sprawled out on the couch in front of the fire. Remus was seated on the very edge of a nearby chair, and his back was perfectly straight as if he were consciously trying not to wrinkle the suit he was wearing.

"Hey," he said warmly. "You look amazing."

Peter turned sideways on the couch and whistled at the sight of Lily. Sirius leaned his head backwards over the back of the couch so he could see.

"You clean up nice, Evans," he said with a grin.

James was on the end of the couch, and he glanced over his shoulder without turning around.

"Nice dress," he said simply.

"Thanks," Lily said with a smile. She looked up at Remus, who had gotten to his feet and come around the couch to stand beside her. "You ready to go?"

"Absolutely," Remus said. He held out his arm, which Lily took with a grin.

"You two behave yourselves," Sirius called teasingly. "Don't do anything we wouldn't do."

"That opens up pretty much everything," Remus pointed out.

"I think that was his point," James said.

"Come on," Lily said, giving Remus' arm a tug. "We'll see you boys later."

The corridors were a bit cold as they made their way to the room Professor Slughorn had reserved for his party. But the room they finally entered was warm and brightly decorated, and it smelled of all sorts of delicious foods. It was like stepping into some sort of magical wonderland.

The evening passed in something of a pleasant blur. Professor Slughorn introduced Lily to several of his famous former students, telling all of them that she was his star pupil and what a bright future she had ahead of her. And when Lily started to blush in embarrassment, Remus eagerly jumped in to tell their audience even more about her "thrilling academic exploits." Which just made Lily turn even redder. But judging by the look on Professor Slughorn's face, he was beginning to wonder if he hadn't made a mistake in not recruiting this charismatic boy.

The buffet table was covered in a variety of delicacies, many of which neither Lily nor Remus had ever tried, and it proved to be quite a tasty experience. They sat at a side table for a while and talked while they worked their way through a wide range of the amazing treats. Later in the evening, someone turned on some music, and then the floor was cleared so everyone could dance. Mary had been right. Remus was indeed a talented dancer. Lily herself was a bit clumsier when it came to dancing, so she ended up stumbling her way through some of the more complicated bits. But instead of being embarrassing, it just made them both laugh.

Finally the party drew to a close. Lily and Remus were still talking and laughing as they made their way back to Gryffindor Tower. They were both nearly crying with laughter when they finally stepped through the portrait door. The common room beyond was empty, which made sense considering how late it was.

"I had a lot of fun tonight," Remus said, sobering up a little.

He stopped walking in the middle of the room, and Lily did the same.

"So did I," she said with a smile.

"I never really thought I'd get to go to something like that," Remus admitted. "Not with the way I am. So thanks for letting me have tonight."

"Thanks for cheering me up," Lily said. "Things are a little rough between me and Sev right now, and it was nice to forget about it for a while. Actually, it was sort of nice to forget about everything."

"Yeah, it was," Remus agreed, a smile of his own crossing his face.

Lily leaned forward and kissed his cheek affectionately.

"G'night, Remus," she said.

"Night, Lils," Remus answered.

As Lily headed up the stairs, Remus walked over to the couch and sat down on the end. He waited until an upstairs door had opened and closed before saying, "You can come out now."

A section of air near the stairs up to the boys dorm shifted visibly, and then James and Sirius were suddenly standing there.

"How'd you know we were there?" James asked as he bundled up his invisibility cloak.

"I could hear you both trying not to laugh," Remus told them.

James and Sirius both walked over to the couch and flopped down beside Remus.

"She kissed you," Sirius said with a smirk. "Lily Evans kissed you. I've never been so proud in my whole life."

"Shut-up," Remus said, shaking his head. "Lily and I aren't like that. We're just friends."

"Oh, because friends kiss each other," James said drily.

"She kissed me on the cheek!" Remus pointed out. "It didn't mean anything."

"It meant she likes you," James pressed.

"No, it didn't!" Remus insisted. "We don't see each other like that."

"And yet, she kissed you," Sirius repeated. He picked up a pillow and hugged it to his chest as he slouched further into the couch.

"But it didn't mean anything," Remus repeated. "She's like my sister."

"Is kissing siblings a thing?" James asked teasingly. "I wouldn't know. I don't have any."

"It's not in my family," Sirius said. "Cousins maybe. But not siblings."

"See?" James said to Remus. "It's not a thing."

Remus responded by throwing a pillow at James' head.

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It happened in the middle of the spring term. Of course, when it did happen, nobody really knew exactly what "it" was. They only knew that it had happened the night before, and it had involved Severus and the Marauders, as they had recently begun calling themselves. And whatever it was, it had been bad. Severus was fuming so hard he practically had steam coming out of his ears, James was in the hospital wing, Peter was completely terrified, and Remus was refusing to speak to Sirius, who actually looked worried for once in his life. But none of them would talk about exactly what had occurred.

A few hours later, some first-year managed to catch Professor Flitwick's hair on fire, and that was seen as far more exciting than whatever altercation had gone down between Severus and the Marauders because those were really pretty much standard fare at this point. So by the end of the day, most of the Hogwarts student body had moved on from the mysterious incident. And Lily might have even done the same had it not been for one small fact – the night before had been a full moon.

She and Remus were supposed to meet in the library that afternoon to study, and Lily spent most of that time trying to weasel the truth out of him. It took almost two hours before he finally gave it up. And once he finally did, Lily really wished he hadn't.

The look on her face as she stormed out of the library and down the corridors was enough to make every single bystander get out of her way. Lily Evans might be kind most of the time, but when she finally got angry, she could be a holy terror. One look at her clenched fists, pursed lips, and tightly knit eyebrows made it clear that she was on the warpath. And no one wanted to be standing in her way.

She found Sirius at his usual smoking spot on a fourth floor balcony. He was leaning against the stone wall of the balcony railing, although he stood up straight and extended his hand to put out the cigarette on the railing before relaxing as he recognized Lily.

"Evans," he said calmly.

Lily surged forward and gave him the hardest push she could manage. Had it not been for the balcony railing catching his weight, Sirius would have plummeted toward the ground far below just like his unfortunate cigarette.

"Merlin, Evans, what's wrong with you?" Sirius asked angrily as he pushed himself off the railing.

"What's wrong with me?" Lily yelled. "What's wrong with you?! You sent Severus into the Shrieking Shack on a full moon!"

She tried to push him again, but Sirius knocked her hands away.

"Calm down," he said, straightening his jumper. "It was just a stupid prank. Your greasy little friend's fine."

Lily's mouth fell open in shock.

"A stupid prank?" she cried. "He could've been hurt! He could've died! Because of you!"

"But he didn't, did he?" Sirius said irritably. "Hero Potter swooped in and saved the day."

"You unbelievable prig," Lily whispered. She took a step back, shaking her head in amazement. "A boy could've died, and you don't even care."

"I'm sorry, alright?" Sirius said. He looked down at the ground and kicked a stray pebble off the balcony. "He was being a git, and I got carried away."

"You got carried away?" Lily exclaimed in disbelief. "Do you ever for one second stop to think about anyone but you? What about your friends? James could've been hurt really bad. He could've died! And what about Remus? He remembers everything he does while he's like that! What if he'd woken up remembering that he killed someone? What do you think that would've done to him?"

"I said I'm sorry," Sirius said fiercely.

"No, 'sorry' is what you say when you get your mates in trouble," Lily said. She took a step back toward Sirius, anger blazing in her eyes. "'Sorry' is for when you try to prank someone and it goes sideways. 'Sorry' doesn't cover nearly getting someone killed!"

Her voice had risen to a yell by the end of it. To his credit, Sirius at least had the good grace to look ashamed of himself. But Lily was beyond the point of caring.

"And it's not just that," she said, lowering her voice a bit. "Severus knows now. He knows about Remus, who he hates. What do you think he's gonna do with that? What if he goes and tells someone?"

Sirius shook his head as a scoffing noise escape his lips.

"What?" Lily demanded.

"Just the irony, that's all," Sirius said. He crossed his arms over his chest. "You come blazing up here defending Snivellus, and you don't even trust him."

"That is not what I said," Lily protested.

"No, but it's what you meant," Sirius said harshly. "Why do you care so much about him? He's horrible."

"He's not," Lily said automatically. "He's a good person deep down."

"No, he isn't!" Sirius cried. He took an angry step toward Lily, but she refused to back away. "He's obsessed with dark magic! He spends all his time looking up curses and running around with pure-blood maniacs! How long do you think it'll take before he starts seeing you like they do? Before you stop being his friend and become just another Mudblood?"

A sharp cracking sound echoed along the stone walls as Lily's hand connected with Sirius' face. His head jerked to the side and his ears began to ring fiercely. Sirius reached up a shocked hand to his burning cheek as tears of pain welled in his eyes. It took a few blinks to clear his vision. When he finally turned his head to look at Lily, he found that there were tears in her eyes as well. The realization felt like a knife in his heart. Sure, Sirius and Lily might be rivals in most of their classes, but he was also developing a deep respect for her, both as a witch and as a person. And to know that he had made her cry… That hurt far more than his stinging cheek or his bruised ego.

"He's gonna hurt you someday," Sirius said softly. "He's gonna show his true colors, and he's gonna hurt you really bad."

"He wouldn't do that," Lily choked. She crossed her arms over her chest, but it looked more like a gesture of self-protection than of defiance.

"I know people like him," Sirius told her. "They may wobble for a bit, may even seem like they're going to become decent human beings. But eventually they grow up, and they turn into Death Eaters. He's already one of them, Lily. He just doesn't know it yet."

Lily looked away as a dry, humorless laugh escaped her.

"You are such a fraud," she said icily. She looked back up, and her eyes were cold. "You make this big show of how you're not like your family, like the other pure-bloods. You prance around sticking up for all the Muggle-borns like you're some sort of crusader. Trying to prove that you're not like the Death Eaters, that you're so much better than they are. Only you're not. You're just like them."

"I am nothing like them," Sirius said fiercely.

"You're exactly like them!" Lily cried. She took a step forward, and the ferocity in her damp eyes caused Sirius to unconsciously take a step back. "You treat pure-bloods the way they treat Muggle-borns! You bully and hex and send them down dark tunnels when you know there's a werewolf waiting at the end! That sounds an awful lot like a Death Eater to me! You treat Slytherins like they're all gonna be dark wizards, only they're not! Not all of them are like that, just like not all Gryffindors are good!"

She paused briefly to swipe angrily at her eye as a tear tried to slip down her cheek. Sirius was far too upset to find his voice. He reached behind him and put his hands on the balcony railing, squeezing it so tightly that his knuckles turned white.

"You know why Severus hangs out with the people he does?" Lily asked quietly. "Because they welcomed him after you and Potter treated him like dirt. You didn't leave him anywhere else to go. And now I'm losing my best friend because of it. And yeah, most of that's on him. But part of it's on you too. You try so hard to act like you're not a Black. But you are. You just got your prejudices flipped around."

With that, she turned on her heel and began to walk away. Sirius could only stand there staring after her. Just before she turned the corner into the main corridor, Lily turned back around.

"I know you and Potter are both prats," she said in a hoarse voice. "But I always thought that when it really came down to it, you'd turn out to be the decent one. Guess I was wrong."

And then she was gone, leaving Sirius standing alone on the balcony that suddenly felt far too cold for a spring evening.

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It was after dark when Lily finally worked up the courage to go to the hospital wing. She'd needed a long walk through the castle to calm herself down after the incident with Sirius. Part of her felt bad for the words she had spoken, but another part of her was still livid that he had almost gotten her best friend killed. She hadn't gotten a chance to speak to Severus yet. He'd been called up to Professor Dumbledore's office sometime during the afternoon (probably to make sure he would actually keep his mouth shut), and he had yet to come out. So Lily had resigned herself to walking up and down the corridors until she could finally think straight. At which point it suddenly occurred to her that she should probably go thank Severus' unlikely savior.

Visiting hours were technically over at the hospital wing. However, Madam Pomfrey knew Lily fairly well since the young Gryffindor had occasionally visited Remus in the hospital wing after some of his particularly rough transformations. As a result, it wasn't hard for Lily to convince Madam Pomfrey to give her just a quick moment to check on James.

It was pretty easy to spot him since he was currently the only person in the hospital wing. Apparently it was a slow day for injuries. His left arm was in a sling, and he had a large white bandage covering his right cheek. His attention seemed to be focused on the ceiling. A cocky grin crossed his face when he saw Lily coming toward him.

"Well, this is certainly a surprise," he said as she stopped beside his bed. "You just can't stay away, can you, Evans?"

"I've only got a minute before Madam Pomfrey kicks me out," Lily said, ignoring his jibe. "So shut-up and let me say what I'm here to say."

James fell silent. His compliance was so surprising that it took Lily a second to find her words.

"I heard… well, that is… Remus told me what happened," she said quietly. "So I just wanted to say thanks for helping Severus. You didn't have to. I know you don't like him. You could've just let him go. But you didn't. You saved him. You saved my best friend. So… thank you."

"It was the right thing to do," James said with a shrug. The gesture was a bit lopsided because of his injured arm. "Besides, just because I don't like Snivellus doesn't mean I want him dead."

"So are you okay?" Lily asked, eyeing his arm.

"I'll be fine," James assured her. "Pomfrey's letting me leave tomorrow. She gave me some potion that's supposed to fix my arm in a few days." He reached up his right hand to tap the bandage on his face. "I got some wicked scratches, but she put something on them and now they won't even scar. I'm rather disappointed, actually. I think I'd look dashing with a scar. Don't you?"

In spite of the fact that this was arrogant Potter, Lily could feel a smile tugging at her mouth.

"Well, it was really brave, what you did," Lily told him. "Brave and decent."

"Are you flirting with me, Evans?" James asked as a smug smile crossed his face.

And just like that, Lily remembered exactly what it was about James Potter that irritated her.

"Look," Lily said, crossing her arms. "Most of the time you're an arrogant fathead."

"Ouch," James said with a dramatic wince.

"But," Lily continued, "you can also be a really good person when you want to be."

James tilted his head in surprise as he looked up at her. She seemed perfectly sincere.

"Did you just compliment me?" James asked in amazement.

"No," Lily said quickly. "You've probably just got a concussion."

"Probably," James agreed. But there was a grin on his face.

A swish of robes signaled that Madam Pomfrey was coming their way.

"I'm afraid that's all for tonight, dear," she said to Lily. "Mr. Potter needs his rest."

"Right," Lily said. She looked back down at James on the hospital bed. "Well, you know, get better soon and all that."

She turned toward the door, but she only made it a few steps before James called after her.

"Do I at least get a thank-you kiss?" he asked.

Lily rolled her eyes and began to walk faster.

"Good night, Potter," she said firmly without turning around.

"Is that a no?" James yelled. Lily didn't answer. James craned his neck so he could see her retreating back as he tried again. "Evans?"

The only answer he received was the door to the hospital wing creaking shut.

* * *

Hopefully you guys enjoyed this chapter. Before you go, please spare a few seconds to write a quick review. And thanks so much to everyone who already has. For those of you like me who really love Lily's friendship with Sirius, fear not. They'll be on much better terms in the next chapter. In fact, they're going to have a really great scene together. Year five will also include the fallout of Snape calling Lily a Mudblood. And as for Jily, things will only get stronger from here on out. So be sure to come back Tuesday for the next chapter. Thanks for reading!


	5. Hogwarts: Year 5

Author's Note: I really enjoyed writing this chapter. Part of it involves Lily's reaction to Snape calling her a Mudblood, and there's some really good stuff for both Remus and Sirius. Also, I used the book's take on that scene, which is slightly different. But I haven't read it in a while, so hopefully the bit I referenced is right. Although I did tweak what happens after Lily left for my own purposes. Sorry, but not really. Also, this chapter opens with James asking Lily out for the first time. And as usual, I want to explain my thoughts on that before you read on. I do think James probably asked Lily out several times during their fifth year. However, I don't think he was actually in love with her at first. I think he saw it as a sort of game. He knew Lily would say no, and he wanted to see if he could get her to say yes. And Lily, knowing it was a game to him, had no remorse about telling him no. But somewhere along the way, James really did fall in love, and it stopped being just a game. And I think at that point he stopped asking because he didn't want to hear Lily turn him down. There will actually be more about that in the next chapter. But the point is that I don't think James just asked Lily out all the time because he was a little snot who was stalking her. I think he was fifteen and she was pretty and he saw it as a challenge. So there's my take on that. Enjoy the chapter!

* * *

 **Hogwarts: Year 5**

The fifth-year D.A.D.A. class had been ending lessons for the last two weeks by working on the Patronus Charm. Most of the students could now manage to get some sort of blue something to erupt from their wands, although a few straggles were still only getting weak sparks. But none of them had managed a corporeal Patronus yet. Which really wasn't surprise considering the advanced nature of the Charm. In fact, if it really came down to it, most of the gaseous blue clouds the students were creating would probably fail to function as successful Patronuses. But their professor still wanted them to at least be familiar with the Charm so maybe someday some of them might actually be able to make it to work.

James and Sirius, ever the competitive ones, had a bet running about which of them would be able to conjure a corporeal Patronus first. They spent every class facing one another as they practiced the Charm over and over, each of them determined to be first. Peter had a tendency to stop practicing and watch until the professor called him out. Remus would just shake his head at them and keep practicing. Sirius and James, however, had eyes only for each other. They both knew, they just knew, that one of them was going to get it first.

Which is why they were completely shell-shocked when Lily Evans beat them both.

It happened out of nowhere. One minute she was casting luminescent blue clouds just like the rest of them, and the next minute there was a ghostly blue doe prancing around the classroom. So sudden and unexpected was the creature's appearance that for a moment no one knew how to react. There were a few gasps and murmured exclamations, but mostly the entire class just stared. Lily herself was standing with her eyes and mouth wide open as she watched the doe. And then, just as suddenly as it had come, the Patronus vanished, leaving the classroom so silent a pin drop could have been heard.

The shocked state only lasted for a few seconds before the entire class erupted. Students cheered and clapped and shouted praises. Even some of the moodier Slytherins and more arrogant Ravenclaws looked impressed. Lily was grinning from ear to ear as her fellow students crowded around to clap her on the back and offer their congratulations.

"Blimey," Peter breathed from where he and the Marauders were still standing frozen in place. "Did you see that?"

"She did it," Remus said with a grin. "She actually did it. I knew I should've bet on her!"

"Did you see it, mate?" Sirius asked, elbowing James in the side.

"Of course I saw it," James said. His tone was an even mixture of awe at Lily's feat and irritation at being beaten. "The whole class saw it."

"It was a doe," Sirius said as if that somehow mattered.

"So?" James said.

"So?" Sirius asked in shock. "Really? So you're a stag! It's like a sign."

Peter leaned forward so his head was almost over James' shoulder.

"You should ask her out," he said eagerly.

"Me and Evans?" James asked, unsure.

"She'll say no," Remus told them. But as usually happened when he was being reasonable, no one seemed to hear him.

"Come on, mate!" Sirius said. He slung an arm around James' shoulders and clapped him on the chest. "It's practically meant to be."

"Give it a go," Peter encouraged.

"She's gonna say no," Remus repeated.

"Then you wait and ask again," Sirius said with a shrug.

Their professor seemed to have deemed class a success after Lily's achievement, so he announced that they were officially done for the day. Students hurried to grab their things and get out the door before he could change his mind. Lily was flanked by several excited Gryffindor girls, and they were near the back of the mass exodus.

"It's now or never, mate," Sirius said.

"Right," James said with a firm nod. He reached up and straightened his tie just for good measure. "Here I go."

"Atta boy," Sirius said, clapping him on the back.

"Go get her," Peter called.

"Here we go," Remus said with a sigh.

James hurried across the classroom and caught up with Lily's group just beyond the door. He took a step past them before turning and walking backwards just ahead of them.

"Nice work in there, Evans," he said. "Very impressive."

"Thanks," Lily said.

"You're just jealous it wasn't you," Marlene told him bluntly. Mary tried to suppress a laugh, and instead it came out as a snort.

"You got me," James said with a humility that was clearly false. "I've been bested."

"Can I get that in writing?" Marlene teased.

"What do you want, Potter?" Lily asked in a tone that was more curious than rude. He was still walking backwards in front of them, so he had to want something.

"For you to go to Hogsmeade with me this weekend," James said, giving her his best cocky grin.

"In your dreams," Lily said without missing a beat.

"I'd go," Mary muttered to Marlene.

"You sure?" James pressed. "Because personally, I think we'd make a great couple. Gryffindor's new Quidditch captain and a prefect. What do you say?"

"Oh, are you Quidditch captain?" Lily asked, her voice dripping with sarcasm. "I hadn't heard."

"Ouch," James said. He clutched at his chest as if he had been hit. "I'm deeply wounded, Evans."

"You'll live," Lily assured him.

"And if I don't?" James asked.

"Then I'll try very, very hard to think of something nice to say at your funeral," Lily said.

"My offer still stands," James said. He stopped walking, letting the girls carry on down the hall without him. "If you change your mind, you know where to find me!"

"I won't," Lily called over her shoulder.

James shook his head as she and the girls walked off. He heard feet running behind him, and then the rest of the Marauders were there.

"Well?" Peter asked eagerly.

"She said no," James said without turning around. His eyes were still locked on Lily's red hair just barely visible through the throng of students further down the corridor.

"I told you," Remus said.

"Well, at least she didn't hex you," Sirius pointed out. "That's a good sign."

James crossed his arms and narrowed his eyes thoughtfully as the familiar head of dark red hair finally disappeared from view.

"What do you think I'd have to do to get her to say yes?" he mused.

Sirius clapped him in the shoulder.

"I think there's a way to find out," he said.

Peter grinned eagerly at the prospect. Remus just sighed.

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It was Halloween, of all days, when Mary MacDonald got cursed. Professor McGonagall found her first and rushed her to the hospital wing, where she was quickly placed in isolation. As a result, no one really knew exactly what had happened to her other than it was some form of Dark Magic. The professors tried their hardest to keep it quiet, but word spread quickly at Hogwarts. By dinnertime, the entire school was in an uproar. Professor Dumbledore responded by giving a lengthy speech before the meal about the nature of good versus evil. He told students that Mary had indeed been cursed, and that there was an investigation being conducted to find the perpetrator. After everyone finished eating, prefects were instructed to take their houses straight back to the dorms.

Most of Gryffindor house huddled in the common room for hours discussing what had happened. There were all sorts of theories on what exactly had happened, who had done it, and why. But when it really came down to it, none of them knew. Maybe that wasn't really the point though. Maybe staying together in a warm and well-lit room helped ease some of the fear they were all feeling. Things like this just didn't happen at Hogwarts. Ever. And yet somehow it had.

It was well into the night when the last few lingering students finally trickled upstairs, leaving Lily alone on the couch in front of the fire. As tired as she was, she just couldn't bring herself to go up to her room. Not when she knew Mary's bed was empty. So instead she stayed on the couch, hugging a pillow for comfort and watching the magical flames dancing inside the fireplace.

She wasn't really sure how long she sat there before she heard someone coming back down the stairs. Lily glanced over her shoulder to see Peter stepping out into the common room. He had changed into his pajamas, but he looked wide awake.

"Can't sleep either?" Lily asked sympathetically.

"Nope," Peter said. He walked around the couch and sat down beside Lily.

"It hardly seems real," Lily said. "Why would anyone want to hurt Mary?"

"People are saying it must've been a pure-blood that did it," Peter said quietly. "It makes sense since she's a Muggle-born and all. The whole mess stinks of Slytherin, if you ask me."

"This is a school," Lily said with a shake of her head. "It's supposed to be safe."

"Compared to the rest of the wizarding world, it is," Peter said, glancing over at her. "It's getting bad out there. The only reason it doesn't touch Hogwarts is because of Dumbledore."

"I just can't believe a student would've done something like this," Lily said.

"I can think of several that would," Peter said drily. "Mulciber and Avery, for example."

"How do people get so dark?" Lily asked. She instinctively hugged the pillow tighter to herself. There was a chill in the common room that no fire could banish, and a shadow that no light could lift.

"Maybe they're just born that way," Peter said as he stared into the fire.

"I don't believe that," Lily told him. "Nobody's just born wanting to hurt everyone around them. There has to be something that happens to them. Or maybe it's Dark Magic. Maybe that's just what it does to people. Makes them evil."

"We use jinxes and hexes at school," Peter pointed out. "That's technically Dark Magic, but we're not all evil."

"I don't mean the little spells," Lily said. She looked over at Peter and then back at the fire. "I mean the really dark stuff. The stuff they're not allowed to teach us. The stuff you can't use unless you really want to hurt people. Maybe if you use those sort of spells enough they just wear away all the goodness inside of you."

"It's too bad," Peter said in a strange tone. "If they didn't, maybe we could use them."

Lily's head jerked around to stare at Peter.

"What are you saying?" she asked worriedly.

"I'm saying some of that Dark Magic's powerful stuff," Peter said. He sounded almost in awe. "If we could use it against the Death Eaters, if we could use their own tricks against them, maybe we could finally put a stop to all the fighting."

"And in winning we'd become just like them," Lily said fiercely. "If you want to fight a fire, you don't use more fire. You use water."

Peter shook his head, and then the strange gleam in his eyes was gone.

"I know that," he said. "I'm just tired of all the fighting. Of everybody getting hurt. The stuff that's out there, Lily… It terrifies me."

"Me too," Lily admitted. "But we can't become like them. We have to better. Otherwise, what are we fighting for?"

"You sound like Dumbledore," Peter said with a hint of a smile.

"He's a smart man," Lily said, returning the smile.

"Yeah," Peter said quietly.

"Hey," Lily said, causing him to look back up. "We're gonna be okay."

Peter nodded.

"I know," he said. He actually sounded like he just might believe it.

A brief silence fell, broken only by the logs cracking in the fireplace. Somehow the common room didn't seem quite as cold or dark as it had just a minute before. Yes, there was still a dark wizard out there trying to take over the world, and yes, some of the danger seemed to have finally seeped into Hogwarts. But somehow sitting in the Gryffindor common room on a soft sofa with a fire going in front of them just felt safe. It was illogical, of course, like a small child trusting in the cover of a blanket to protect them. But that didn't make the feeling any less strong.

"Sirius told me a joke today," Peter said suddenly. He pulled his legs up under him and turned so he could lean back against the arm of the couch.

"Really?" Lily said drily.

"It's good one," Peter insisted.

Sirius might have a sharp wit that could prove quite amusing, but the jokes he told intentionally were rarely funny to anyone but the other Marauders. Still, Peter was fighting back a smile just at the thought of it. If it served to cheer him up, then it might be worth a go.

Lily turned her body a bit so she was sitting nearly sideways with her shoulder leaning against the back of the couch.

"Fine," she said.

Peter grinned.

"Okay," he said eagerly. "So a Slytherin and a Ravenclaw go to Hogsmeade. The Slytherin walks into Honeydukes. The Ravenclaw uses the door."

The words were barely out of his mouth before he started chuckling. It was so absurdly stupid that it actually took Lily a second to get it. When she did, she shook her head.

"Really?" she asked in amazement.

"It's funny," Peter said with a wide grin. "He actually walked into it. Like he ran into the wall."

"I got it, Peter, thanks," Lily said drily.

"I know another one," Peter said, still grinning.

Lily sighed. She put her elbow on the back of the couch and leaned her head against her hand.

"Okay, go ahead," she said.

"This is a good one," Peter assured her. He rubbed his hands together in anticipation. "A Gryffindor and a Slytherin are at the Three Broomsticks, right? And the Gryffindor says…"

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Mudblood.

The word kept repeating inside of Lily's head like a record that wouldn't stop skipping. She had heard the word before of course. She had even heard it directed at her a few times. But this time it was different. This time it had come from a source Lily had never expected – her best friend.

Filthy Mudblood.

She had only been trying to help. The Marauders had been picking on Severus again, and Lily had tried to make them stop. He'd been pinned to the ground with no wand and bubbles coming out of his mouth, for Merlin's sake. He clearly couldn't get himself down. And James had been enjoying himself far too much for Lily to believe he would release Severus any time soon. So Lily had done what a good friend was supposed to do. She stepped in to help. She hadn't expected Severus to be grateful. He never was when someone else saved him. He was far too proud for that. But Lily would never have dreamed that he would turn on her like he had.

Filthy Mudblood.

The term stung when it came from other students. But hearing it from her best and oldest friend… It hurt. It hurt far more than Lily knew how to handle. And she had let him know it too, shoving as much contempt as possible into her voice. Then she had done the only thing she could think of. She had walked away. Actually, she had walked until she knew no one could see her, at which point she ran because her vision was blurring and she wasn't sure how much longer she could hold herself together.

Lily was sitting up against the wall of one of the rarely used herbology greenhouses when Remus found her. Of course he would be the one to find her. It was a place they had sometimes taken to studying when they needed to get away from the bustle of the castle. Thankfully Lily had nearly stopped crying by the time he arrived, but her eyes were still damp and red.

"How'd you find me?" she asked, quickly wiping her eyes on her sleeves.

"I know you," Remus said with a sad smile. He walked over and sat down on the grass beside her. "I'd ask if you're okay, but I know you're not."

"We've been getting further apart for a while now," Lily said hoarsely. She was staring down at her raised knees to avoid looking at Remus. "I just never thought…"

She trailed off, still not quite able to believe it.

"Nobody did," Remus told her. "At least not when it came to you."

"Sirius did," Lily said with a dark chuckle. "He saw it last year. He said someday Severus was gonna hurt me. I thought it was just because he hated Severus. But it turns out he was right."

"He hit Snape after you left," Remus said quietly. "Hit him right in the face. I think he broke Snape's nose."

That surprised Lily a bit. She had known Sirius to prank, jinx, and hex students. But for him to actually physically assault them was almost unheard of.

"McGonagall's gonna kill him," she said with a shake of her head.

"Actually, she didn't," Remus said. Lily looked over at him in confusion, so he explained. "She came out right after it happened. She was gonna put him in detention, but then he told her what Snape said, and she let him off with a very stern lecture about proper behavior. Oh, and she wants to see you in her office when you're up for it. She's worried about you."

"I'll go up later," Lily said, looking back down at her knees.

Remus fell silent for a moment as he tried to figure out what to say.

"I know you care about Snape," he finally said. "And I know you're really good at forgiving him. But he crossed a line today, Lils. What he said to you? Nobody should ever call you that. Ever. Who cares who your parents were? You've got more talent than most of the people at this school. And on top of that you're smart and kind and a good friend. And any wizard who doesn't treasure your friendship doesn't deserve to have it."

"Thanks," Lily whispered.

"I know you probably don't want to hear this," Remus said carefully, "but Snape's not gonna change. Every year he becomes more and more like those boys he hangs out with. You can't spend the rest of your life trying to save him. He's made his choices, and you can't change that. You're gonna have to cut him loose. I know you don't want to. But if you don't, he's just gonna keep hurting you."

Lily put her elbows on her knees and leaned her forehead against her palms.

"I know I have to let him go," she said in a tone so quiet Remus could barely hear her. "But in my head he's still that little boy teaching me about magic. And then I look at him now, and he's obsessed with all this darkness. And I can't figure out how that sweet little boy turned into this."

She had to stop talking as tears threatened to overtake her again. Remus waited in patient silence as Lily wiped her eyes and exhaled heavily.

"Why are people like this?" she asked when she could finally talk again. "What is it about being different that makes people treat it so cruelly?"

"I wish I knew," Remus said quietly.

Lily looked over at Remus with a knitted brow as something suddenly occurred to her.

"Why do you let them do it?" she asked. "Why do you let them treat Severus like they do? You know what it's like to have people hate you. So why don't you ever stop it?"

Now it was Remus' turn to look down at his lap.

"I don't know," he admitted. "I know I should. Maybe because I'm scared to stand up to the first real best friends I've ever had. Or maybe because he acts like a git. I know that's not an excuse, but it makes me feel less guilty about it."

"Well, Potter can be a git too," Lily said angrily.

"He's really not that bad," Remus told her. "He's grown up a lot this year."

"Not enough," Lily muttered.

"Look, I'll try to make them stop next time, okay?" Remus said honestly. "I promise."

Lily looked over at her for a moment before giving a small nod.

"Okay," she said quietly. She stretched her legs out in front of her and looked down at them. "I hate this. I hate that people look at me as different. My sister thinks I'm a freak. Half the pure-bloods call me-"

"Don't say it," Remus interrupted. "Don't ever say that about yourself. If you start saying it, then you start thinking it. And you can't let them get in your head. That's how they win."

Lily smiled a little in spite of herself.

"Here I am complaining about getting called a few names when the whole wizard community's afraid of what you are," she said sheepishly.

"It's okay," Remus assured her. "I know how much it hurts to have people judge you for something you can't control."

"Still," Lily said. "I shouldn't be complaining about it to you."

"You're not complaining," Remus said quickly. "Your friend hurt you, and you're upset. But I'm your friend too, Lils. You've been there for me loads of times. Let me be here for you." A smile tugged at the corner of his mouth. "Werewolves and Muggle-borns have to stick together, remember?"

A small chuckle escaped Lily's lips even as tears began welling in her eyes again for some inexplicable reason.

"Do you mind if we sit here for a bit?" she asked softly. "I don't think I can go back yet."

"Sure," Remus told her. "We can sit here as long as you want."

Lily leaned over and put her head against Remus' shoulder as she wiped her damp eyes. Remus hesitated briefly before wrapping his arm around her.

"You're a good friend, Remus," Lily said in a watery voice.

Remus tilted his head so his cheek rested atop Lily's head.

"So are you," he said.

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Lily both loved and hated the prefects' nightly rounds. She hated it because it was time she could have spent studying or lounging in the Gryffindor common room with her friends. But she also loved it because the castle was generally quiet and because she and Remus typically did their rounds together, giving them a chance to talk. But tonight was the night after a full moon and Remus wasn't feeling too well, so Lily was making her rounds alone.

It was late when she finished her rounds. Normally she would head back to the dorm at this point, but tonight she decided to head up to the Astronomy Tower to clear her head. Severus had been trying all week to get back in her good graces, and Lily was getting tired of dealing with him. Then today there had been the letter from her mother informing her that Petunia had gone to London for a typing course and wouldn't be home when Lily returned for the summer. Petunia hadn't even had the decency to tell Lily herself. Between all of that and her increasing struggle with Arithmancy, Lily was beginning to feel like she needed a break from her life.

The tower should have been perfectly empty, seeing as it was typically off-limits except for Astronomy classes, none of which were being held that night. But when Lily reached the top of the stairs, she found a figure sitting on one of the curved benches. They turned their head toward Lily, and in the moonlight she could clearly see Sirius' face. His shoulders were slumped, and he looked far wearier than Lily had ever seen him. A bottle of Firewhisky rested in his hand. Firewhisky was technically contraband for students under seventeen. But suddenly having a drink didn't sound like such a bad idea.

"You gonna give me detention, Evans?" Sirius asked wearily.

"Depends," Lily said. She pointed at the bottle in his hand. "Are you gonna share that?"

Sirius looked from her to the bottle and back again.

"Why not?" he said with a shrug. "Misery does love company."

Lily walked over to the bench and sat down beside Sirius as he took a long drink from the bottle. Then he handed it over to Lily. She took it, hesitating briefly before touching the bottle to her lips. The warm liquid that came out made her throat burn. The sensation caused Lily to cough a bit. But then the Firewhisky hit her stomach, and her insides suddenly felt warm.

"What are you doing up here?" Lily asked as she passed the bottle back to Sirius.

"Can't sleep," Sirius said honestly. "Family stuff. You?"

"A few reasons, actually," Lily admitted. "But family's one of them."

"What did yours do?" Sirius asked before taking a swig from the bottle.

"My sister moved to London without telling me," Lily said. "I probably shouldn't be surprised. It's not like we're close or anything. She's hated me ever since I was nine and she found out I had magic and she didn't. She barely talks to me most of the time. And when she does, it's to call me a freak. And now she's moved out and didn't even tell me."

Sirius held the bottle out to Lily.

"She sounds like a prig," he said.

"She is," Lily agreed, taking the bottle. "But she's still my sister, you know? I keep hoping someday things will get better between us. But they never do."

She threw back a drink of Firewhisky, and this time the burning didn't make her cough. She wiped her mouth on her sleeve as she handed the bottle back to Sirius.

"I get that," Sirius said. "My little brother wants to be a Death Eater when he grows up. He goes on and on about them all the time. About how amazing they are and how they're going to set wizarding society right. My parents have him completely brainwashed. He barely even talks to me anymore. Thinks I'm betraying the family or some rubbish like that. My parents agree with him. They keep telling me what a massive disappointment I am. What a disgrace to the house of Black. Well, I say the house of Black is a disgrace to me."

He took a long drink as if daring the universe to contradict him. Lily watched him in silence, unsure of what exactly she should say.

"I don't know if I can go back to that house for a whole summer," Sirius admitted quietly after he had lowered the bottle. "It feels like a prison. I'm just trapped there with all of their hateful, judgmental selves while they try to shame and brainwash me back into the family mindset."

"Where else would you go?" Lily asked in concern.

Sirius handed her the bottle of Firewhisky, and she took a big drink before passing it back.

"I don't know," Sirius said. "Maybe my cousin Andromeda's. She married a Muggle-born and the whole family disowned her, so she knows what it's like. Besides, it's probably just a matter of time before they burn me off the family tree too."

"What do you mean burn you off it?" Lily asked, confused.

"We've got this giant tapestry of our whole family line," Sirius explained. He took a quick drink of Firewhisky before handing the bottle back to Lily. "Lets us show off the proud Black lineage. And if somebody gets too friendly with the undesirables, we burn them off. It's like they never existed. That's what they did to Dromeda after she got married. We're not even allowed to talk about her anymore. Her parents think she did it out of spite. They say she turned her back on the family. That she wanted to destroy us all and dance on the ashes. But it wasn't like that. We're the ones that turned our backs on her. She would've burned the whole world down for her sisters. Or me. Or Regulus. But they pushed her too far. They told her she had to choose between her family and the man she loved. So she did. She chose the one she could live with. And they never forgave her." He shook his head. "That's the thing about Dromeda though. She's a Slytherin through and through. She knows what she wants, and she goes after it. And she never looks back. But sometimes I wonder if maybe just this once she did. I don't know how she couldn't. Family is family, even if they are all a bunch of bigoted prigs."

He tried to sound nonchalant, but his usual cocky air was betrayed by the weary slump of his shoulders and the strained tone in his voice.

"Sounds like you two would get alone," Lily said before taking a drink from the bottle.

"She was always my favorite cousin," Sirius said with a hint of a grin. "She liked to question things. Wanted to know why being a Black made her better. I guess she wasn't satisfied with the answer. Not like her sister Bellatrix. She's a twisted one, Bella is. Joined up with the Death Eaters first chance she got. Her parents were so proud. And then there's Narcissa. She's not bad exactly. She's just been brainwashed by the Black family ideology. Sometimes I think that if she'd been in a different family, a good one, then she might have been good too. Of course, now she's dating Lucius Malfoy. He's a scary bloke. Good bloodlines though. That should make her dear parents happy."

He held out his hand for the bottle, which Lily handed to him.

"That sounds like quite a family," she said.

"That's just the beginning," Sirius said. "Death Eaters and pure-blood maniacs, the lot of them."

He knocked back the bottle and let more of the burning liquid run down his throat.

"Suddenly my family doesn't sound so bad," Lily said with a shake of her head. "My sister may not be the nicest, but my parents are good people and they both love me. They've probably never done a rotten thing in their lives. They don't even know what Death Eaters are."

"It's probably safer for them that way," Sirius said. He held out the bottle to Lily before saying curiously, "Speaking of Death Eaters. How are things going with Snivellus?"

Unlike Remus, Sirius never tried to use Severus' real name when Lily was around. Normally that fact made her angry. But right now she herself was still too upset with Severus to care.

"They're not," Lily said flatly.

She took the proffered bottle and had a long drink from it before continuing. Firewhisky was known for giving people courage, and Lily needed some if they were going to have this conversation.

"He keeps trying to apologize," she said, lowering the bottle. "It's driving me mad, to be honest. If it was just that one thing, maybe I could forgive him. But it's not. It's all sorts of little things that just keep piling up. And then for him to say that on top of everything else… I can't be his friend anymore. Not unless he really shows me he can change."

"He won't," Sirius said quietly.

For once, Lily didn't feel the need to jump to Severus' defense. She looked down at the bottle in her hands as her finger traced over the raised design in the glass.

"You were right," she said in a voice so soft Sirius almost missed it. "What you said last year about him hurting me."

"If it helps, I didn't want to be right," Sirius admitted. "Not if it got you hurt."

Lily looked up at him out of the corner of her eye.

"You didn't have to hit him, you know," she said.

"Yeah, I did," Sirius said honestly.

Their eyes met briefly, and then Lily passed him the bottle in a silent gesture of gratitude. Sirius lifted it almost to his lips, but lowered it again before he could take a drink.

"About last year," he said, unable to meet Lily's eyes. "What I did to him. I really am sorry."

"I know," Lily said quietly. "I forgave you a long time ago."

"Good," Sirius said lightly as he raised the bottle to his mouth. "Then you can be my drinking buddy. I need a good one. The boys are great and all, but they can't hold their liquor."

"Really?" Lily asked in surprised. She put her hands behind her on the bench and leaned back on them to get more comfortable.

Sirius took a quick drink before nodding.

"Peter sings," he told her. "Badly. And then he falls asleep. Remus turns into James. He starts flirting with everything that walks. He's pretty good at it too. He's got more game drunk than sober."

Lily couldn't help giggling at the image.

"And Potter?" she asked.

"James is actually quite a pathetic drunk," Sirius said, shaking his head. "He starts carrying on about love and poetry and sappy songs. And when he's really far gone, he starts hugging."

"And how exactly did you find all this out?" Lily asked suspiciously.

"How else?" Sirius said with a shrug. "I got them all drunk third year."

Lily shook her head, which drew a smirk from Sirius.

"Some friend you are," she said.

Sirius just laughed before taking another drink. Lily turned her head to look at the stars shining brightly in the clear sky.

"You know, I heard this saying once," she said in a more somber tone. "'Friends are the family you choose for yourself.'"

"I couldn't agree more," Sirius said. He held up the bottle of Firewhisky as if toasting. "Here's to rotten relatives and true families."

He took a good long drink from the bottle and then handed it to Lily.

"Cheers," she said before taking a drink of her own. When she was finished, she lowered the bottle to her lap. A small yawn escaped her as she did so.

"We should probably get to bed," Sirius suggested. "We have Arithmancy tomorrow."

"Oh, Merlin, don't remind me," Lily groaned. She handed the bottle back to Sirius, who took it with a smile. Then she pushed herself off the bench and stood to her feet. "You coming?"

"I'll follow in a minute," Sirius said. "We can't have anyone thinking you knew I was up here."

"What if a professor sees you?" Lily asked.

"They won't," Sirius assured her. The mischievous glint was back in his eyes. "Trust me."

"You know what?" Lily said, throwing up her hands in surrender. "I don't want to know."

Sirius let out a chuckle as he lifted the bottle to his lips. Lily turned and headed for the stairs. She only made it down the first three before she turned back around.

"Hey, Black?" she said, looking up at him.

Sirius was in the middle of a drink, but he quickly swallowed and lowered the bottle.

"Yeah?" he said.

Lily hesitated for a moment, her fingers tapping an abstract rhythm against the railing.

"What I said last year," she finally said in a quiet voice. "About you being just like your family. You're not. You're nothing like them. You're a good person deep down. You just have to believe it."

A sad smile touched Sirius' face. For a moment he looked on the verge of saying something heartfelt, but instead he settled for, "See you in class, Evans."

Lily smiled warmly back at him.

"See you," she said.

She continued on down the stairs, leaving Sirius alone with the stars and a nearly empty bottle of Firewhisky.

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So how was it? Please leave a short review and let me know. Reviews encourage me to keep writing. The next chapter will include a Potions debacle, James saving Lily's life, and Lily finally admitting that she might possibly have feelings for a certain James Potter. In other words, it'll be good. So be sure to come back on Friday for that. And as always, thanks for reading!


	6. Hogwarts: Year 6

Author's Note: This chapter puts us about halfway through this story. But there's still plenty of good stuff on the way. As usual, I wanted to make a few comments before you read. There's some action in this chapter, which is basically the farthest the story has ever gone from canon. Not that it couldn't have happened, but there's no indication that it did. Still, I don't think these teenagers would have joined the Order right out of school for no reason. I think something happened that inspired them to fight. So this chapter is my take on that. It does involve James saving Lily's life, so before somebody jumps down my throat about Lily not needing anybody to save her, I don't think she ever did after that moment. I think when they joined the Order, James had no problem sending her out on missions without him because he knew she could take care of herself. But this is the first time Lily truly sees the war up close, and she's only sixteen, so it's only natural that it would scare her. The only reason James doesn't panic is because he's too busy saving his friends to process it. And as you'll see, this brief moment of fear is then what drives Lily to become as good as good as she does at fighting. Also, just in case somebody misreads James and Lily's conversation, I tried to make it very clear that James did not change for Lily. He changed because he was growing up. I think that's all that needs saying. Enjoy!

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 **Hogwarts: Year 6**

It had been exactly a week since Peter had been able to get Lily to say anything more to him than curt, one-word answers. He had tried everything – apologizing profusely, buying her favorite candy from Honeydukes, apologizing some more, giving her a new Gryffindor scarf his mother had made for him, apologizing again, and even sending Remus to plead his case with her. Nothing had worked. Seven days running and Lily was still mad at him. And Peter was fast running out of ideas.

He kept trying to tell himself that Lily was completely overreacting. He hadn't meant to hurt the stupid little first-year. It was just that he'd been having a terrible day already what with it being the night after a full moon, and then he'd gone and failed his Potions exam, and then, just in case that wasn't enough, he'd been running late for Charms. So he had been a fierce combination of terribly exhausted, highly irritated, and extremely flustered when the tiny idiot had run into him and made him drop all his books. And Peter might have been able to handle that, except then the little git had smarted off. The next thing Peter knew his wand was out and he'd hexed the poor boy. It wasn't just some harmless stinging hex either. It was a bad one. One that required Professor Flitwick to rush the boy to the hospital wing. Peter hadn't meant for it to happen. Really, he hadn't. It had just come out. He had felt terrible the second he realized what had happened. But of course it was too late by then.

McGonagall had been furious. She'd thrown him in detention for the rest of the week and taken fifty points from Gryffindor to boot. But as terrifying as McGonagall could be, the worst part of all had been walking out of McGonagall's office to find Lily waiting for him. The disappointed look in her eyes had been crushing.

"What were you thinking?" she had demanded. "Doing something like that, especially to a first-year! I thought you were better than that, Peter."

"It was an accident," Peter had protested.

"Accidents don't land first-years in the hospital wing!" Lily had practically yelled.

"Look, I'm sorry," Peter had told her. But Lily had been having none of it.

"I would think you, of all people would know better than to pick on someone," she had said sadly. And then she had turned and walked away.

That had been a week ago, and Lily had yet to say a full sentence to him. At first, Peter had just thought she needed a few days to cool off. But after the first few days, it had really started to get to him. Not that Peter and Lily had ever been best friends exactly. But she had always been nice to him, and now she was almost completely ignoring him. The longer it went on, the crazier Peter felt. There had to be a way to fix this. He just needed a little luck to find it.

Which was precisely how Peter came to find himself in the empty Potions classroom. It was currently dinnertime, so it was a fairly safe bet that he would have the place to himself for a while. He just had to hope it was long enough.

Finding the necessary ingredients for what he wanted took some definite effort. Thankfully, Professor Slughorn kept all sorts of odd things in his classroom. Peter slowly worked his way down the list, putting one item after another on the worktable. Finally he had it all. Now came by far the hardest part. Not only did he tend to have bad luck with potions, but this particular one was also considered highly advanced. One small slip and this could all end very badly.

Peter went down the list of instructions, taking it one careful step at a time. He checked and double-checked every step just to be sure. He was halfway through the list when the potion began to bubble and smoke. Peter frowned down at the cauldron.

"I don't think that's supposed to happen," he muttered.

He glanced down at the instructions, and it was a good thing he did. As he turned his head back to the cauldron, the potion inside suddenly exploded. A spurt of flame shot out of the cauldron as a large cloud of smoke spilled out. If Peter's head had been over the cauldron at that exact moment, he probably would have lost far more than just his eyebrows. As it was, he found himself coughing furiously. He waved the air with his arm in an effort to clear the smoke.

"Merlin's beard!" a familiar female voice cried.

There came a flash of light from a wand, and the smoke cleared away as if blown by a strong wind. Peter looked up just in time to see Lily herself putting away her wand. She stormed over to the worktable, a shocked expression on her face.

"What the hell you do think you're doing?" she demanded.

"It was a failed suicide attempt," Peter croaked around the smoke in his throat.

Instead of lightening, Lily's glare actually intensified. She looked down at the textbook lying open on the worktable, and her forehead furrowed even further.

"Are you actually trying to make Felix Felicis?" she asked in shock. Peter looked down at the table in an effort to avoid her gaze. "You are. Peter, this potion is incredibly complex! You could've blown yourself up! What in Merlin's name possessed you to do that?"

"I needed some luck," he mumbled.

Lily crossed her arms in irritation.

"And what could you possibly need luck for that badly?" she asked.

In answer, Peter looked up at her in silence. Lily stared at him expectantly for a long moment before her eyes widened in sudden understanding.

"Really?" she asked, some of her irritation fading.

"I already tried everything else," Peter said with a shrug. "I figured it couldn't hurt."

"Well, it could have," Lily said sternly. "You could've been really injured."

"I just wanted us to be friends again," Peter said. "I really am sorry, Lily. Honest. I didn't mean to hurt him. I was just angry, and then it all happened so fast… Look, it won't happen again, okay? So please stop ignoring me."

Lily gave him a long, measuring look. Then she glanced down at the cauldron.

"You do know Felix Felicis has to sit for six months before it'll work," she told him.

"What?" Peter blurted out.

He bent over the textbook, his eyes rapidly scanning lines. Sure enough, there it was right at the bottom. _Let stew for six months._ Peter straightened, scratching his forehead.

"I hadn't made it that far yet," he admitted sheepishly.

To his amazement, Lily burst out laughing. Peter stared at her in surprise for a minute before finally laughing a bit himself.

"You're an idiot," Lily said with a smile. "But a sweet idiot."

"Does that mean we're okay?" Peter asked slowly.

"Yeah," Lily confirmed. "We're okay."

"Good," Peter said in relief. He tilted his head curiously before asking, "How'd you know I was down here?"

"Remus," Lily said. "I heard him telling Sirius you'd said something about needing a little luck, and I put it together from there."

"Well, since you're here," Peter said, surveying the various ingredients covering the worktable, "would you mind helping me put all this back?"

"Sure," Lily said with a grin.

"Thanks," Peter said. He picked up a jar of squill bulbs and headed over to the cabinet it had come from.

"Peter?" Lily called. Peter turned around to find her watching him with a serious expression. "If you ever try anything like this ever again, I'll hex you into next week."

"Trust me," Peter said, looking down at his soot-covered jumper. "I have no intention of doing this ever again."

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It was shortly after the students returned from Christmas break that the war raging across the wizarding world finally came to Hogwarts. Actually, to be perfectly accurate, it came to Hogsmeade. But considering how many Hogwarts students were there at the time, to say that it came to Hogwarts would still be highly accurate.

Many of the shops still had their Christmas decorations up, prolonging the holiday spirit. Since it was a Saturday, a large portion of the students who were old enough had found their way down to the quaint little village in search of delicious and entertaining ways to waste the day. The snow had melted strangely early that year, exposing the cold ground beneath. That was not to say that it was warm yet. Students could see their breath as they tramped around the village in their coats and scarves, but none of them minded. They were too busy enjoying the time away from their studies.

The Marauders had stopped by Honeydukes first to replenish their candy stores. After that they made a trip to Spintwitches to admire the newest Quidditch gear. They had just exited the sporting goods shop and were on their way to the Three Broomsticks for some warm Butterbeers when it happened. A high-pitched scream filled the air, only to be cut off. All four Marauders promptly froze.

"What was that?" Sirius asked, looking around the street.

In answer to his question, there came a bright crack of green light. And then suddenly it was there in the sky – a green skull with a snake coming out of its mouth.

"Bloody hell," Peter choked.

"Is that-" Remus asked shakily.

"The Dark Mark," Sirius finished.

"Death Eaters," James whispered.

As if on cue, a figure appeared at the end of the street. They wore a long black robe with a black hood over their head and a strange mask obscuring their face. For what seemed like an eternity but was probably only a second, there was only total silence on the street. And then all hell broke loose. People were screaming and running. The figure in black began moving down the street, casting spells as they went. Other figures in similar dress appeared from various places on the street. They were spread out and moving fast, so it was hard to tell how many there were. Glass shattered violently as hexes and curses made contact. Students and townsfolk came running out of the shops. Many of them were immediately hit by spells as well, leaving them anything from barely grazed to frozen to nearly dead.

"We need to get out of here," James yelled above the noise.

"Honeydukes is the closest passage," Sirius shouted back.

The four boys sprinted across the street toward the candy shop. Spells were flying everywhere. People were running this way and that, most of the screaming. A few were throwing spells back, but it was hard to tell in the chaos who was actually hitting who. Thankfully, Honeydukes was only a short distance away. Just as they reached the door, James happened to look to the left in time to see a Muggle-born student fall to the ground. A pool of blood rapidly began to form around her. James stumbled to a halt, and turned to look at the street around him. It was hard to tell in the chaos, but he was fairly certain that most of the students hit thus far were either Muggle-born or half-bloods.

"James, come on!" Remus said, tugging at his arm.

"They're going after the impure students," James cried, turning back around. Sirius and Peter were already halfway across the now-empty shop, but they skidded to a stop as James spoke.

"So?" Sirius asked. "We need to get out of here, mate."

"Evans," James gasped. His eyes widened as he suddenly remembered. "I saw Lily going into the bookshop. She's a Muggle-born!"

"We have to find her," Remus cried. He surged toward the door, but James pushed him back.

"You and Peter aren't pure-blood," he said. "You could be targets." He looked past Remus at Sirius. "You get them out of there. I'll go find Evans."

"You could be killed!" Peter yelled.

As if to prove his point, one of the window panes near James suddenly exploded.

"I've got the cloak," James told them. "I'll be fine! Go!"

He turned and ran out the door before they could protest any further. The street outside was a mess. Debris was everywhere, along with various students and townspeople who had been injured. Several of the Death Eaters had taken to brooms, and they were flying around blocking off most of the attempted escapes. Tomes and Scrolls was near the other end of the street, meaning James had to run the gamut to get there. He pulled the invisibility cloak out of his bag as he ran and threw it over his head. But just because he couldn't be seen didn't mean he was out of danger. A curse flew by his ear, only just missing him. James ducked past a man who was madly firing spells at the flying Death Eaters with one hand while his other hand held a bottle of Firewhisky to his lips. Some people were just insane.

Somehow James made it to the bookshop in one piece. The door was knocked off its hinges, and the windows were all blown in. He ducked inside and was met with a sight that made his blood run cold. The owner of the shop was lying unconscious behind the counter. And lying on the ground with her back against a bookshelf was Lily Evans. She looked as if she had fallen over backwards. Her wand was in her hand, but her wide eyes and pale face made it clear she was far too shocked to use it. A figure in black was standing over her, their wand pointed at her head.

"Time to pay, Mudblood," the figure said cruelly.

James threw the cloak off and leveled his wand.

"Petrificus totalus!" he yelled.

Immediately the black-cloaked figure stiffened. James gave them a solid push, knocking them over onto their side as he rushed to Lily's side. She was still staring at her would-be assailant.

"You okay?" James said, touched her arm. Lily didn't respond. "We have to go, okay? Evans? Evans! Lily!"

The sound of her first name caused Lily's eyes to jerk up to meet his. She looked completely terrified. Never in all their time at school had James ever seen her look so scared.

"We have to go," James repeated quickly. "I've got an invisibility cloak. Don't ask. I'll explain later. The point is I can get us out of here. But you have to trust me. Do you trust me?"

For a moment, Lily seemed too shocked to answer. But then she managed a firm nod. James held out his hand, and after the briefest hesitation, Lily reached up and took it.

"Let's go," James said.

He pulled Lily to her feet and draped the cloak over both of them. He had always wondered why the thing was so big, but now he was glad of it. With his wand in his right hand and his left holding tightly to Lily's, James quickly led her back toward the door. The street outside didn't seem to be calming down at all. If anything, it actually looked even more chaotic. There were a few professors in the mix now, having been drawn by the Dark Mark. Unfortunately, the thick of the fighting was situated firmly between the bookshop and Hogsmeade. They were going to have to find another exit.

"We're gonna make a run for the Shrieking Shack," James explained quickly. "There's a way out through there. Ready?"

He looked over at Lily, who nodded. Her grip on his hand was so tight it was a wonder his bones weren't breaking. But in that moment, a broken hand was the least of James' worries.

"Go!" he cried.

Together he and Lily took off down the street. Suddenly James was grateful for the lack of snow. It meant there were no footprints to advertise their presence. No one could see them as they tore madly down the street. They still had to dodge several students and a few wayward hexes. James could feel his heart hammering in his chest. All it would take was one stray curse, and they would both go down.

They hit the edge of the street soon enough and stumbled down the hill toward the shack. It was a steep incline, and it was a wonder they made it without falling. The shack was completely boarded up to keep anyone from accidentally stumbling upon Remus during his transformation. But the boys had managed to get one of the doors to function just in case they ever needed it, and James unlocked it now with a simple "Alohomora."

Once they were inside, James pulled off the invisibility cloak and tucked it into his bag. Lily's hand was still firmly locked around his. Her eyes were wide as she looked around the battered shack. James locked the door behind them before steering Lily through the house toward the back bedroom where a hole in the floor marked the entrance to the secret passage.

"This goes all the way to Hogwarts," James said. Lily looked over at him, visible unsure. James tried to give her his most confidant expression. "You said you trusted me, remember?"

Lily looked down at the hole and back at James before forcing herself to let go of his hand. James dropped down into the hole first, and Lily followed close behind. Once they were both on the ground, Lily resumed her tight hold on James' hand. James decided against commenting on that. Instead he cast Lumos, illuminating the dark earthen tunnel stretching on into darkness.

"We follow this to the end, and it'll come up right under the Whomping Willow," he told Lily. "This is how we get Remus down here for his transformations."

He waited a moment for Lily to respond, but she didn't say a word. Finally James gave up and began leading her down the dark tunnel. It was too narrow to walk side-by-side, so James took the lead and trailed his left arm behind him. The air around them was cool and damp. Neither of them spoke as they walked. Aside from their steady footfalls, the tunnel was completely silent.

There was a time when journeys down this tunnel had made James feel as if time ceased to exist and he was trapped in a never-ending loop of darkness. But he had made the trip enough over the last few years that he could now determine precisely how far away they were from the Hogwarts entrance based on how long they had been walking. Still, he was used to making the trip with his friends beside him. The utter silence made the tunnel seem more ominous than it usually did.

Finally they reached the end of it. The root system of the Whomping Willow could be seen above their heads. James stood on his toes to reach up among the roots and press the knot that would immobilize the violent tree. Then he climbed up the short wooden ladder and out through the gap. Once on the surface, he reached his hand down to pull Lily up as well. The afternoon sun was still hanging in the sky, and it seemed far too bright considering what had just happened down in the village. Thankfully the Dark Mark was no longer visible in the direction of Hogsmeade. The attack was finally over.

"You okay?" James asked once he and Lily were both on the ground.

"It was Mulciber," Lily said without looking at him. Those were the first words she had spoken since James had found her in the bookshop. "The person in the mask. It was Mulciber."

"Are you sure?" James asked skeptically. "They looked like Death Eaters. They conjured the Dark Mark."

"It was him," Lily said fiercely. Her eyes flew up to meet his, and there was a steeliness to them that he had only seen a handful of times. "I know his voice. It was him."

"Bloody hell," James whispered. "Do you think the others…?"

"I don't know," Lily said. She crossed her arms over her chest, but it looked more like a gesture of self-protection than an attempt to ward off the cold air.

"It would make sense," James admitted. "Grown Death Eaters wouldn't be stupid enough to come this close to Dumbledore. They must've been students. But why would…"

"Avery's birthday was yesterday," Lily choked. "He turned seventeen."

"His Trace broke," James gasped in understanding. "His spells can't be monitored anymore."

"He was one of the youngest in their little gang," Lily continued. "They must've been waiting for him to come of age."

"Hogwarts students attacking each other?" James asked. He ran his hand through his hair as he tried to wrap his mind around the concept.

"They're not students anymore," Lily said coldly. Then her eyes suddenly widened in shock. "Severus hangs out with them. You don't think he-"

"No," James said quickly. "He wouldn't. Not if it could get you hurt."

The truth was that he had no idea whether Snape was involved. But for Lily's sake, he hoped not. Lily and Snape might not be friends anymore, but learning he had played some part in what had just happened would destroy Lily.

"I still can't believe it," Lily whispered. "I knew there was a war brewing, but it was always somewhere out there. It was never here. But now…"

"Now it's real," James finished.

The Whomping Willow chose that moment to begin shifting its branches. James caught hold of Lily's arm, and the two of them quickly moved a safe distance away from the tree. Once they were far enough out of range, they both instinctively stopped again.

"Thank you," Lily blurted out. "For coming to find me. You didn't have to."

"I wasn't gonna leave without you," James told her honestly.

Lily smiled up at him very tentatively. Then she looked down at his bag, and her brow furrowed.

"How do you have an invisibility cloak?" she asked curiously.

"It's my dad's," James told her. She already knew he had it, so she might as well know how.

"Is that how you always manage to get away with everything?" Lily asked.

"I don't actually get away with everything," James pointed out. "I have a rather lengthy list of detentions. But yes, the cloak is one of the more helpful tools at my disposal."

"The others being what?" Lily asked suspiciously.

"Maybe someday I'll tell you," James said with his usual cocky grin.

Normally Lily would have demanded an answer or at least glared at him. But she was still a bit too shaken up from the incident in Hogsmeade to be totally back to her usual self. Instead, she looked over her shoulder at the Whomping Willow and then back at him.

"So you lot go down that tunnel every full moon?" she asked. James nodded in confirmation. Lily bit her bottom lip briefly before carefully asking, "What's it like? When he changes?"

"It's hard," James said honestly. He jammed his hands into his pockets as the cold air finally began to get to his fingers. "It's a little painful, and he's exhausted afterwards. But he stays pretty calm anymore. He just wanders around the house. Sometimes he lays down and waits to change back. He's almost docile so long as there aren't any people around. But he's not himself. It's hard to explain."

"So the Animagus thing worked then?" Lily asked with a hint of a grin. "I figured it must have since he's been getting hurt a lot less. But I never actually asked."

Under normal circumstances, James would never have dreamed of telling her so much about the secrets of the Marauders. But the image of Lily's terrified face in the shop was still burned into his mind. She was finally starting to seem more like herself again. And if spilling the beans about the Marauders was what it took for that to keep happening, then James was more than willing to help.

"Yeah, it works," he told her. "We finally got it straight last year."

"That's amazing," Lily said, her voice carrying a hint of genuine awe. "You must be the youngest Animagi in… Well, in years. Maybe ever."

"Evans, are you actually impressed with me?" James teased.

"So what do you all turn into?" Lily asked, ignoring his comment.

"Peter's a rat," James said. "Sirius gave him no end of grief about that until it turned out he was able to get between the roots of the Whomping Willow and immobilize it. That shut Sirius up pretty quick. He turns into a big black dog."

"What about you?" Lily asked with a curious tilt of her head.

"I'm a stag," James said proudly.

Lily bit her lip briefly before asking in a quiet voice, "Can I see it?"

James very nearly said no. But there was something about the hopeful gleam in Lily's eyes that made it impossible. Besides, there was no one else around to see. What harm could it possibly do?

He closed his arms and initiated the process that he now knew by heart. He could feel his body changing. His arms lowered to the ground, his neck extended, antlers sprouted from his head, his torso shifted so it was parallel with the ground, his clothes turned to fur, and a small tail appeared on his backside. When he opened his eyes, it was from a different height than that of his human form.

Lily's mouth was wide open as she stared back at him. Her eyes were twinkling with wonder. She very slowly stretched out her hand, laying it very carefully against his nose. The contact seemed to shatter whatever spell she was under because she suddenly laughed loud and clear. It occurred to James that it was the most beautiful sound he had ever heard.

It only took a thought for James to begin shifting back to human form. Lily quickly withdrew her hand as his body began to rewrite its own anatomy. A few seconds later he was staring back at her as a man. Lily was smiling at him like a child at Christmas.

"That was amazing," she whispered.

James smiled back, and for a second it was as if they were the only two beings in existence. Then James noticed the castle over Lily's shoulder. Just like that, reality came flooding back.

"We should get going," he said, sobering. "People are probably worried about us."

"Right," Lily said quickly.

Together they began walking back toward the castle. They hadn't made it very far when Lily suddenly stopped in her tracks. James did the same, looking over at her in confusion.

"Hang on," Lily said suspiciously. "Your Animagus form is a stag. And my Patronus is a doe."

"Yeah," James said with a shrug.

"That's it?" Lily pressed. "You're not gonna tell me it's a sign that I should go out with you?"

"No," James said.

With that, he continued on his path toward the castle. Lily stared at his retreating back for a moment before hurrying to catch up.

"You asked me out all the time last school year," she pointed out as she kept stride beside him. "It was like some sort of a game. Me always saying 'No' and you always doing crazier things to see if you could get me to say 'Yes.' But this year you haven't asked me once. Why?"

"It stopped being a game," James said quietly.

Lily's eyes looked about to pop out of her head as she stared back at him. She stopped walking again, and after an extra step, James once again did the same.

"Merlin," Lily whispered. "So are you saying that you really…"

"I didn't mind you saying 'No' at first," James explained. He looked down at the grass, unable to meet her eyes. "That's what made it a challenge. But once I actually started caring, then I didn't know if I could take it. You clearly didn't think I was good enough. But you couldn't say 'No' if I didn't ask. So I didn't. Besides, we finally started to be friends, and I didn't want to mess that up."

"You think I kept telling you 'No' because you weren't good enough?" Lily asked in surprise. There was something unreadable in her eyes.

"Why else would you have said it?" James asked.

"Not because of that," Lily said firmly. She sighed. "I said no because you were arrogant and a bully. And because you hex my friend – well, former friend – which is not okay. But you're not always like that. And when you're not…" She hesitated briefly before saying softly, "Well, when you're not, I sort of like you."

James stared back at her in surprise. Not only had Lily Evans just admitted to liking him, but apparently there was also a possibility that she might consider him good enough to date. James looked down at the grass for a moment as he tried to process that.

"And what if I wasn't those things?" he asked, looking back up.

"Well, you've already fixed two out of three," Lily said in a carefully nonchalant tone.

"So what about the last one?" James asked. He was sounding more confident, and hopeful, by the second. "If I stopped hexing Sniv- Snape, then would you go out with me?"

Lily shrugged noncommittally, but there was a twinkle in her eye.

"Try it and find out," she said.

With that, she resumed walking. James could swear she had a smile on her face as she passed him. He turned on his heel and stared after her, far too dumbfounded to follow. True, she hadn't exactly said yes. But it was the closest she had ever come.

James could feel his mouth pulling into a grin as he finally hurried after her.

X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X

It took several weeks before the incident at Hogsmeade ceased to be the main topic of conversation. And even then it stayed on the backburner for the rest of the term. Several students had been severely injured, and two Muggle-borns were killed (a fifth-year Ravenclaw and a second-year Hufflepuff). The attackers all managed to evade capture. Apparently there had been an escape plan that was implemented shortly after the professors began showing up. And their masks made it impossible to accurately identify anyone. However, a solid handful of older Slytherins disappeared that day along with all their belongings. All of those missing were of age and from pure-blood families, making it fairly clear exactly who the attackers had been. (Much to Lily's relief, Severus was not among their number.)

Castle security was increased dramatically in the wake of the attack, as was security in Hogsmeade. Visits to the village were suspended indefinitely while both inquiries and repairs were made. A new curfew was also instituted at school that held for the rest of the term. The Ministry of Magic carried out a lengthy investigation that resulted in a lot of paperwork and some very official-sounding speeches but no real explanation as to exactly how it had happened. Life at Hogwarts slowly began to drift back toward normal, but the rest of the term was never quite the same.

It was just over two weeks after the attack when Lily found Sirius in his usual smoking spot. Never in all her life had she been so grateful for the foul smell of smoke. James and Remus couldn't stand it, and Peter tended to follow the majority. As a result, Sirius' occasional smoking breaks were the only time he could be found alone.

Sirius was leaning on his elbows on the balcony railing when Lily got there.

"Ginger," he said, looking over his shoulder and releasing a puff of smoke with the word.

"I need to talk to you," Lily said nervously.

"If this is about Filch's cat, I have a perfectly good alibi," Sirius told her.

"I'm not here as a prefect," Lily said quickly. "I'm here as a friend. I need your help."

Usually when Lily came to Sirius for help, it was for some kind of prank on an arrogant git. But right now she looked far grimmer than she did in those conversations. Sirius straightened up and snuffed out his cigarette butt on the stone railing before flicking it over the edge. Then he turned around fully, his whole attention now focused on Lily.

"Are you okay?" he asked with a concerned frown.

"No," Lily said, shaking her head. She hesitated before walking over to stand at the railing next to Sirius. "Did James tell you about… about what happened to me in Hogsmeade? You know, that day?"

She was looking out at the grounds as she said it. Sirius turned around and put his hands on the railing in a silent mimic of her posture.

"He told me about the bookshop," Sirius confirmed. "About you and Mulciber."

"I can't stop thinking about it," Lily admitted. She looked down at the smooth stone railing beneath her fingers. "I saw him come in, and I had my wand out, and then I just froze. All that knowledge, all those years of practicing spells, and it was all just gone."

"You panicked," Sirius said sympathetically.

"I was terrified," Lily corrected. She looked up at Sirius with her jaw firmly set. "I don't ever want to feel like that again."

"Forgive me if I'm a little lost," Sirius said slowly. "But what exactly is it you're asking?"

"I want you to help me practice," Lily told him. "Defensive spells, offensive ones, all of it."

"You mean like dueling?" Sirius asked.

"More like preparing," Lily said. "I've been learning spells for years. They're all in my head. I know they are. In a classroom, I know them all. But when I was staring down that wand, I couldn't remember any of it. It's not enough to just know the spells. I have to be ready to use them. To know them so well that they just come out. Like a reflex or something."

"You're talking about actual magical combat," Sirius said. He sounded almost impressed. "That could get dangerous."

"There's a war going on outside of these walls," Lily pointed out. "Sooner or later we're gonna have to face it. And when I do, I don't want to freeze up again. I want to be able to do what I have to do. What if something happens to my family? They're not magical. They can't protect themselves. I'd have to do it. I hope that moment never comes, but if it does, I want to be ready for it. When Death finally comes knocking, I want to be able to look him in the eyes and say, 'You're not taking me today.'"

"With that attitude, he just might take 'No' for an answer," Sirius said approvingly. He glanced out at the castle grounds and then back at Lily. "Alright, I get why you want to do this. I even respect it. But why me?"

"Because you're the only one who would really push me," Lily admitted. "Mary and Marlene wouldn't understand. James and Remus would, but they might go easy to keep me from getting hurt. And Peter couldn't hurt me if he had to. So that leaves you."

"So I'm the last choice," Sirius said with a smirk. "Flattering."

"No," Lily corrected. "You're the only choice."

Sirius gave her a long weighing look before finally nodding.

"If we do this," he said, and Lily's heart soared at his use of the word "we," "it'll be dangerous. We won't be in a safe classroom with a professor watching. We could get hurt."

"Better here than out there," Lily told him. "Besides, you can't really learn to ride a bike if you never take the stabilizers off." Seeing Sirius' slightly confused expression, Lily shook her head and added, "Sorry. It's a Muggle thing."

"Right," Sirius said. A smug grin touched his face. "Well, in that case, I think I know just the place to remove our stabilizers."

His idea of the perfect place turned out to be a secret passage behind a mirror on the fourth floor. Apparently the passage led to Hogsmeade, but shortly after the mirror, it opened up into a wide oblong area that was big enough for multiple people to duel at once so long as they remained close. It was more than big enough to suit Lily and Sirius.

They started with spells they had learned in D.A.D.A. Spells that were relatively harmless or had simple counters were tried out on each other. For the more dangerous spells, they brought in some cheap trinkets from Hogsmeade and used them as targets. They also conducted fake duels with sticks instead of wands to help quicken their reaction times as well as get them used to using the hand movements and incantations of more dangerous spells. They ran spells over and over again until it came as easily as breathing. Then they started trying to duel nonverbally. Both Lily and Sirius had been fairly good at dueling before the practices began, but it quickly became apparent that they were sharpening one another's abilities. Which was why they weren't entirely surprised when someone finally noticed.

It only took about a week before the rest of the Marauders discovered Sirius was doing something other than taking abnormally long smoking breaks. (Although personally, Sirius was surprised it took that long what with the map finally being finished and all.) And when they did, they marched themselves straight to the secret passage. Lily had just managed to knock Sirius flat on his back when the sound of loud clapping erupted behind her.

"That was amazing," Peter's awed voice said.

Lily had already spun around with her wand out before she registered the voice. And then she found herself staring at the other three Marauders.

"Watch it there, Lils," Remus said, holding up his hands.

"And what, if I may ask, are you two doing?" James asked curiously.

"Practicing," Lily said. She suddenly realized her wand was still up, and she quickly lowered it.

"For what?" James asked.

"Haven't you heard?" Sirius answered. He had pushed himself to his feet and was now dusting off his pants. He walked over to stand by Lily before elaborating. "There's a war on, mate."

"You're preparing to fight," Remus said with wide eyes.

"If it comes to that," Lily admitted.

"Evans wanted some extra practice," Sirius said innocently. "She asked me to help her out."

"You're getting some good practice out of this too," Lily reminded him drily.

James crossed his arms and looked questioningly over his shoulder at Remus, who nodded.

"How would you feel about having some extra help?" James asked, turning back to Lily.

Lily grinned.

X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X

Between classes, practicing with the Marauders, and hanging out with Mary and Marlene, the rest of the term flew by for Lily. Before she knew it, there was only a month left. Exams were looming on the horizon, causing students to madly scramble to get their grades in order. Late night studying was becoming more and more popular as it always did at that time of year. As a result, the nightly patrols by the prefects were more necessary than ever to help ensure that no one was out and about after curfew.

For nearly two years now, Lily and Remus had made a habit of doing their rounds together. It was a nightly tradition that they both enjoyed. What was a little less time in the common room if it meant the chance to talk privately with a friend? And aside from a few minor incidents, their rounds tended to be fairly uneventful most nights. This was not one of those nights. It was, as it turned out, a very pivotal moment in the life of Lily Evans because it led to a revelation that would come to affect the rest of her life. But neither she nor Remus knew that when they set out from Gryffindor Tower.

"Did you see Mary's face today when Peter blocked her nonverbal hex?" Remus said, referring to their D.A.D.A. class that afternoon.

"He's gotten a lot better," Lily agreed.

"Our study group is paying off," Remus said with a grin. They had taken to referring to their practice sessions as a study group in the hopes that the boring name would discourage questions. So far it seemed to be working.

"We may have to ease off a little in class," Lily said as they stepped onto a downward staircase. "I think the professor's getting suspicious. I know Marlene is, especially after the bruises I got last week. I can't just blame Quidditch like James and Sirius do."

The staircase beneath their feet creaked as it began to swing to the right.

"If you'd stop diving around so much when you duel, you wouldn't have any bruises to explain," Remus pointed out.

"It works doesn't it?" Lily shot back. "Besides, it feels sort of James Bond."

"It looks sort of James Bond," Remus admitted.

"Well, there you go," Lily said with a triumphant grin.

They reached the bottom of the staircase just as it connected with a landing. The two prefects stepped off and turned down a dark corridor. Their outstretched wands provided enough light to see.

"You and James seem to work pretty well together," Remus said casually.

"We have similar fighting styles," Lily said. "We make a good team."

Remus chuckled, causing Lily to look over at him in confusion.

"That's a sentence I never thought I'd hear from you," he said.

"It's true," Lily insisted. "I'm good at the spells he's not and vice versa."

"I'm not disagreeing," Remus said with a grin. "But there was a day not too long ago that you would've hexed him rather than having his back."

"He's grown up a lot the last two years," Lily said with a shrug. "Besides, it's not that I didn't like him, exactly. I just didn't like how he acted. And he's gotten a lot better."

"Especially after what happened in Hogsmeade," Remus said knowingly. "You wouldn't happen to have anything to do with that, would you?"

"Why would I have anything to do with it?" Lily asked. They had reached an intersection in the corridor, and Lily made a show of looking both ways so she didn't have to look at Remus.

"Because that's about the time James stopped hexing Snape," he informed her. "He'd stopped hexing most everybody at the beginning of the school year, but he kept hexing Snape right up until Hogsmeade. I was just wondering if you knew anything about it."

The light coming from his wand made it easy to see the wince on Lily's face.

"I may have sort of said something," she admitted.

"Which was what?" Remus asked curiously.

He stopped walking in the middle of the dark corridor, and Lily reluctantly did that same. She glanced over at him and then away again as her fingers began to fidget around her wand.

"Well," she explained, "when we were coming back to the castle, it sort of came up that he'd stopped asking me out. He said he'd got the hint that he wasn't good enough. So I told him that wasn't it. That the reason I kept telling him 'No' was because of his behavior. I listed a few things, and one of them was hexing Severus. And then James asked if I'd go out with him if he stopped those things."

"And you said what?" Remus asked eagerly. Lily winced again.

"'Try it and see,'" she said in a low voice.

Remus' mouth fell open as he stared at her. Then a terribly wide grin spread across his face.

"Do you realize what this means?" he asked happily. "You have feelings for James."

"I do not," Lily objected. She started walking down the corridor again.

"You do," Remus insisted as he hurried to keep up. "You all but agreed to go out with him!"

"So?" Lily said crossly. "I've gone out on dates before."

"Yes, but you've never actively encouraged someone to ask you out," Remus argued. "Speaking of dates. Didn't you two go to Hogsmeade together last weekend."

"As friends," Lily insisted, unconsciously increasing her pace.

"And you've started calling him by his first name," Remus added.

"Because it's polite," Lily said.

"And you're being nice to him," Remus added.

"I'm always nice," Lily said hotly. She was walking ever faster, forcing him to work to keep up.

"Not to James," Remus countered as he hurried alone beside her.

"Well, he's grown up a lot," Lily said. "I'm just treating him like it."

"He stopped hexing Snape because you said you'd go out on a date with him," Remus insisted.

"I said I might," Lily corrected.

"For Merlin's sake, will you slow down?" Remus panted. He caught Lily's arm, pulling her to an unwilling halt. "Look. Last year you said you'd rather go out with the Giant Squid than James. And now you're the one bringing up the possibility of a date. Sounds to me like your feelings have changed."

Lily frowned and crossed her arms in irritation.

"Just because I'm warming up to him doesn't mean anything," she said.

"But I think it does," Remus argued. "I think that you, Lily Evans, have a crush on James Potter."

Lily opened her mouth to contradict him, but no sound would come out. She quickly shut her mouth as her eyes went wide.

"Merlin's beard," she said softly. "You're right. I have a crush on James."

"I knew it!" Remus cried.

Immediately there came a chorus of indignant protests and grumpy reprimands from several of the nearby paintings telling him to keep his voice down because sensible people were trying to sleep.

"Sorry," Remus whispered to the paintings. He turned back to Lily and whispered, "I knew it!"

"But how?" Lily asked in confusion. "I don't even… How could that happen?"

"The heart wants what it wants," Remus said with a grin.

Lily shook her head in amazement. Then her eyes narrowed threateningly.

"If you say so much as a word of this to anyone," she warned, "I will-"

"I know, I know," Remus said, holding up his hands. "You'll hex me into next week. Honestly, Lils. You need to get some new material."

"I mean it," Lily said fiercely. The fire in her eyes made it impossible to doubt her.

"Calm down," Remus told her. "I won't tell anyone."

"Especially not the other Marauders," Lily pressed.

"I promise that I will not tell a soul," Remus said.

Lily's expression relaxed a bit, but then her eyes seemed to glaze over as the realization sank in.

"I have a crush on James Potter," she repeated. She looked completely shell-shocked. "I think I need a drink."

"I think I can help you there," Remus assured her. He slung his arm around her shoulders as they continued walking down the corridor. They hadn't gone far when he mused aloud, "Lily Evans Potter. It has sort of a ring to it, don't you think?"

There came a bright flash of green light and a loud yelp, followed by another chorus of protests from the paintings. Just another perfectly average night of prefect rounds.

* * *

Before you go, please take the time to leave a short review. It won't take long, and it will completely make my day. The next chapter will be their last year at Hogwarts. Among other things, it includes Jily celebrating Lily's eighteenth birthday, which may or may not be how the Marauders lose their map. But if you want to know how those two events are connected, you'll have to come back on Monday. Thanks for reading!


	7. Hogwarts: Year 7

Author's Note: This chapter covers the Marauders and Lily's final year at Hogwarts. One small note on that. I have the invention of the Wolf's Bane Potion occurring around this time. In a biography of Remus Lupin, J. K. Rowling has that occurring after the Potters are gone, but there's no set year and I had already written this chapter before I found that bit of writing. Since I really like how this plays out, I'm temporarily throwing canon out the window for my own purposes. Sorry. (But not really.) Everything else should be pretty self-explanatory. Oh, and this chapter also involves this story's first scene of actual, official Jily. So from here on out they'll be a couple. Enjoy!

* * *

 **Hogwarts: Year 7**

Before his sixth year, Sirius had rarely gotten post. Most of his family was disappointed in his life choices, not the least of which was his house placement, and he really had no friends outside of Hogwarts. And so, unless his father wanted to reprimand him or his mother felt the need to update him on current happenings in the proud house of Black or Uncle Alphard decided to send him an expensive present, Sirius quite simply did not get post.

That had changed since he moved in with the Potters. Mrs. Potter had taken quite a shine to Sirius, and she wrote to him every few weeks. Sometimes she included various little treats as well. Cousin Andromeda had also started writing occasionally now that they had both been disowned. They even had a running joke about being the Black sheep. As a result, it was not nearly as surprising for Sirius to get post as it had once been.

It wasn't unusual for Lily Evans to get post either. It had taken her parents some time during her first year to get used to sending mail by owl, but now they wrote quite regularly. Every now and then there was also the odd letter from Petunia, dreadfully short and coldly civil. Although those had decreased greatly in number since she moved up to London. In short, there was nothing odd about Lily getting post. It was odd, however, for said post to cause her smile to deflate and her eyes to well up.

Such was the case one fall morning in their seventh year. When the owls arrived with the post, Lily was happily chatting with Mary and Marlene a short distance down the breakfast table. By the time she finished reading her mail, she looked as if her best friend had just died. She excused herself from the table, politely shrugging off the concern of her friends, and promptly left the Great Hall.

There was a time when Sirius probably wouldn't have cared much about Lily leaving breakfast like that. But he had come to respect her a great deal during their education. And after how much time Lily had been spending with the Marauders since the Hogsmeade Incident, Sirius had come to view her as a real friend. Technically James should probably be going after her seeing as they had started dating this summer. (A fact which had earned Sirius a rather large amount of money in the Hogwarts betting pool.) But James had gotten held up in the common room discussing Quidditch practice, and so, as his best mate, Sirius felt it was probably his duty to go check on James' girl.

"What's with Evans?" he asked, leaning out over the table so Marlene could hear him.

"Don't know," Marlene said with a frown. "She wouldn't say."

"The letter was from her sister," Mary offered helpfully.

"The one that just got engaged?" Sirius asked.

"Does she have another one?" Mary said drily.

Instead of responding to that particular remark, Sirius turned his attention to his left where Remus sat beside him. He looked just as concerned as Sirius suddenly felt. Peter, who was sitting across from Sirius, was also frowning in worry.

"You have the map on you?" Sirius asked Remus in a low voice.

"Yeah," Remus said, patting his pocket. "I'll go get her."

"No, I got this one, mate," Sirius said.

"You sure?" Remus asked. Sirius nodded.

"It's sibling drama," he pointed out. "That's sort of my area of expertise."

Remus passed Sirius the map under the table, and Sirius smoothly slid it into his pocket.

"Don't you gits eat all my foot," Sirius warned.

He stood up from the table and casually strolled down the length of the Great Hall toward the door. From there he walked down the adjoining corridor until he was sure that he was alone. Satisfied that he wouldn't be interrupted, Sirius pulled the map out of his pocket. It didn't take him long to locate Lily. She hadn't gone very far. There was a small nook a few hallways over that was fairly out of the way, and it was there that Lily had taken refuge.

Sirius slipped the map back into his pocket and started walking. Since most everyone was already at breakfast, the castle around him was very quiet. Soon he couldn't even hear the distant noise from the Great Hall. But he could make out the sound of faint sniffling as he rounded the final turn.

A small nook appeared in front of him with a large stained glass window that looked out on the Training Grounds. Lily was sitting on the floor with her knees to her chest and her back to the stone wall. A crumpled piece of paper was clutched tightly in her hands. She looked up as Sirius came into view and quickly swiped at her wet cheeks with her sleeve. But there was nothing to be done for her red eyes.

Sirius leaned his shoulder against the opposite wall of the nook and looked down at her.

"Domestic troubles, Ginger?" he asked. The characteristic joking tone was gone from his voice, replaced instead with weary understanding.

Lily looked briefly torn as she tried to settle on a course of action. Finally she sighed.

"It's Petunia," she said, reaching up to fully wipe her damp eyes with the sides of her thumbs. "She got engaged last week, which is great. I sent her a letter telling her how happy I was and to let me know if she wanted me to help with anything."

"I'm guessing she didn't," Sirius said sympathetically.

"She wrote back telling me all about the wedding preparations," Lily said. She smoothed out the crumpled page in her hand so she could skim its contents again. "She and my mum have already picked out the colors and the dress and pretty much everything. And then she lists out her three bridesmaids, and I'm not one of them."

"Bridesmaids?" Sirius asked in confusion.

"It's a Muggle thing," Lily said irritably. "The bride picks a few of her closest female friends or relatives, and they all wear matching dresses and stand near her at the wedding. The point is that if you have a sister, you ask her to be a bridesmaid."

"And Petunia didn't ask you," Sirius said in sudden understanding.

"Nope," Lily said, angrily popping the "p" at the end. "But she asked her fiancé's sister, Marge. Petunia doesn't even know Marge! They've met once! But she gets to be a bridesmaid and I don't because I was born with magic and that makes me an embarrassment."

Lily crumpled up the letter again and threw it angrily across the nook. It bounced off the stone walls, landing on the floor with a hollow scratching sound.

"Oh," Lily added, looking up at Sirius with an angry frown. "And she wants to know if I'll be bringing 'the vagrant' because they're working on the seating chart for the reception and she wants to seat us where we'll be likely to cause the least trouble."

Her tirade now ended, Lily propped her right elbow up on her knee and dropped her head dejectedly against her hand. Sirius stayed silent for a moment, trying to figure out what he should say. Sympathy had never been his strong suit. But empathy… That he could do.

"I think Regulus is going to join the Death Eaters," he said finally. Lily looked up with a concerned frown, so he kept going. "He's been talking about wanting to for years, but I was in the kitchens the other night talking to a house elf that apparently has contact with ours, and he said that Reg's been spending a lot of time with our cousins and their husbands. I know Bella and Rodolphus are Death Eaters. And I'm not sure about Narcissa, but Lucius definitely is. They've always been good to Reg before since he was the real son in our family. But now I think they're getting ready to recruit him."

"He's only sixteen," Lily said in disbelief.

"So were the bloody idiots who attacked Hogsmeade," Sirius pointed out. "Every one of them is with the Death Eaters now."

"What are you going to do?" Lily asked.

"I don't know," Sirius admitted. "I tried to reach out to Reg last year, but he won't listen to me. That's not the point though. The point is that I get what it's like to have a sibling who wants nothing to do with you. Who thinks you're a disgrace that your family would be better off without. So if you need something – a drinking buddy or a shoulder or whatever – let me know."

Apparently that was just the right thing to say because Lily's eyes filled with tears all over again.

"We were so close when we were kids," Lily said sadly. Her voice was beginning to get hoarse as her emotions got the better of her. "Sure, she was bossy and controlling. But we still got along, you know? We were sisters. And then we found out I was a witch, and it all started to fall apart."

She reached up and wiped angrily at her eyes again. Sirius waited in patient silence.

"I just kept hoping that someday she'd get it through her head," Lily continued in a watery voice. "That just because I'm like this and she's not doesn't mean we can't still be sisters. I kept thinking someday she'd grow out of it and we could go back to being friends again. But now she's completely cutting me out. And it really hurts."

She pulled her other elbow up onto her knee and pressed the heels of her hands against her eyes as her strained voice finally gave out. Hot tears began to run down her arms. Sirius was completely at a loss. He and Lily might be good mates, but he had no idea what to do with a crying girl. Should he talk to her or hug her or go find someone else better equipped? Sirius wasn't exactly the sort of person people went to for comfort. He was the one they sought out once they had hit the anger stage and wanted some payback. The only person he had ever really comforted was Remus, and that hardly even counted because Remus had been in his werewolf form at the time and Sirius had been…

And just like that, Sirius had an idea. It was a completely absurd idea, but somehow he felt certain that it would work. He closed his eyes briefly and summoned the familiar magic. When he reopened his eyes, he was looking at Lily from a much lower angle.

Sirius walked forward and nudged her arm with his cold nose. Lily lifted her tear-stained from her hands, and for a moment, she just stared at him. Then a sad smile crossed her face.

"So that's what it looks like," she said softly.

She reached out her hand and touched his soft fur. That seemed to calm her down a bit. Sirius moved forward and rested his big head on her shoulder. He could feel a tremor shake Lily's body as a small sob escaped her. She immediately wrapped her arms around his canine body, weaving her fingers through his black fur. Her face pressed into the soft hair, and he could feel tears soaking through to his skin. Sirius lowered his hind legs to the ground, fully prepared to sit there for as long as Lily needed. She had been there for him that night on the Astronomy Tower in fifth year and had shown her support for him on many occasions since then. This was his chance to finally pay that back. And if that meant sitting on the cold floor as a dog while Lily cried into his fur, then that was perfectly fine with Sirius.

And once that was over, maybe he would mail her sister a Howler. That should be entertaining.

X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X

It was the beginning of November, and fall was steadily giving way to winter when Professor Slughorn decided to push back the year seven N.E.W.T. Potions lesson on Amortentia in favor of raving about the newest accomplishment of one of his former students. That in and of itself wasn't entirely uncommon. Neither was the fact that this successful former student had gone on to be a potioneer. (It seemed Slughorn's truest favorites always did.) What made the lesson stand out, at least for Lily, was that this man's latest success was a potion that apparently eased the symptoms of lycanthropy to the point where the werewolf could maintain their right mind while transformed. By the end of class, Remus was practically salivating on his desk. Lily herself could feel her heart hammering in her chest. If this was real, if they could somehow get a hold of it, then this potion could change everything for Remus.

Lily had barely made it out of the classroom when James came up beside her. He slipped his hand into hers, trying to act as casual as possible.

"Could you make it?" he asked bluntly.

"Make it?" Lily cried. James shot her a look, and she quickly lowered her voice. "Are you mad?"

"It's brand new, so it won't be on the market for ages," James told her as they wove through the crowded hallway. "And when it is, it'll be outrageously expensive. Remus would never be able to get his hands on it. But if we could make it ourselves…"

"Did you hear Slughorn talking about how complicated it was?" Lily asked.

"Look," James said, stepping in front of her so they both came to a halt. "You're the best in our year. Well, besides Snape, who I wouldn't trust this to in a million years. If you can't do it, no one can."

Lily bit her lip as she thought it over. On one hand, a potion this complicated could be disastrous, even poisonous, if it went wrong. On the other hand, Remus had suffered enough for what he was. If this worked, he might finally be able to defeat his inner demons once and for all.

"Get me the recipe," Lily said finally. "I'll look it over and see if it's even possible."

"I'll get the boys on it," James said. He leaned forward and kissed her. "You're the best."

"I know," Lily replied as she leaned in for another kiss.

Sirius slipped Lily the recipe later that night (she didn't dare ask how he'd gotten it out of Slughorn's office), and she spent a fair bit of time pouring over it after her roommates were all asleep. The recipe was highly advanced. It also contained several potentially deadly ingredients, meaning the utmost care would have to be taken in brewing it. But maybe, just maybe, it could be done.

Such was her conclusion when she arrived at breakfast the next morning. She sat down in an empty place across from James, who immediately stopped talking to Peter midsentence.

"Well?" he asked. Peter and Sirius both leaned forward in rapt attention.

"I think it's possible," Lily said with a barely concealed smile. "It'll be complicated, but I think we can manage it."

"That's amazing," Sirius said, clapping Lily on the back.

Mary was sitting a short distance down the table, and she looked over at them in interest.

"What are you all so excited about?" she asked around a mouthful of pastry.

"Extra credit," Lily, James, and Sirius all chorused. That had long ago become the go-to answer of the Marauders for any research necessary to their extracurricular activities. Lily had picked up on that fact, and had begun to use it herself when discussing research about Remus or their "study group."

Mary raised an eyebrow before turning her attention to Marlene, who sat across from her reading The Daily Prophet.

"Do you ever get the feeling when they say that they're talking about something completely different?" Mary asked.

"All the time," Marlene said without looking up from her paper.

"I'll go up and tell Remus the news," Sirius said with a grin.

"Is he feeling okay?" Lily asked as Sirius got to his feet. "He never misses breakfast."

"He didn't sleep much last night," James told her. "He was up worrying. We let him sleep in."

"He'll be sleeping a lot better tonight," Sirius said enthusiastically. He clapped Lily on the shoulder once more before starting the walk toward the large double doors.

"Hey, Black," Marlene called as he passed her. "We still on for study group this afternoon?"

Marlene had discovered their little pet project at the end of the previous year. Lily's repeated exhaustion and collection of minor injuries had finally tipped her off that something was going on. She had then proceeded to find their little practice sessions without the help of the map, a fact that had greatly impressed all four Marauders. And instead of ratting them out, she had informed them that she wanted in. She had quickly proved to be a valuable asset to the group. She and Sirius often paired off, and they were becoming quite the team. James even had a bet going with Peter about when they would start dating, although Lily repeatedly assured them both that any feelings there were purely platonic. For now, anyway.

"Same as always," Sirius said. He turned and walked backwards for a few steps so he could grin competitively at Marlene. "You sure you're up for it, McKinnon?"

"Bring it on," Marlene shot back.

She turned back to her paper as Sirius grinned and turned back around for the rest of his walk. Mary watched him go with a thoroughly confused expression.

"You know," she said, turning her attention back to Marlene, "sometimes I get the weirdest feeling that I'm standing in the middle of a massive loop and I'm completely out of it."

"It's entirely possible," Marlene said with the straightest face she could manage.

Indeed, it was far more than just possible. Unbeknownst to Marlene, however, there was another loop that she too was out of. A loop that involved Sirius and Peter sneaking into Slughorn's stores and "borrowing" several ingredients. It also involved Lily and James spending several late nights in the Potions classroom trying to get the potion to brew properly. (Their status as Head Boy and Head Girl allowed them to be out late without raising too many questions.) They had more than one attempt go wrong along the way. But finally Lily was satisfied that they had done it right. Of course, the only way to truly be sure was to test it.

Wolfsbane Potion was extremely different from other potions in that it wasn't enough just to drink it once. Remus had to drink an entire gobletful every night in the week leading up to the full moon. Which was far easier said than done, since the stuff made him want to vomit. Sirius suggested adding sugar, but Lily pointed out that no one knew how that might affect the potency of the potion. So in the end, Remus was forced to simply grin and bear it.

The night of the full moon fell on November 25, a Friday night. Lily could hardly focus on her studies in the week leading up to it. None of them could. If this worked, it could change everything for Remus. And if it didn't… Well, none of them wanted to think about that. It would work. It had to.

When Friday night finally arrived, Madam Pomfrey escorted Remus through the tunnel to the Shrieking Shack just like the always did. The rest of the Marauders waited until after dark before taking the map and the cloak and heading out to the Whomping Willow just as they always did. In other words, it felt to the four boys just like any other four moon. And yet it was so much more.

Lily was so anxious that she couldn't fall asleep. Finally she took a blanket down to the common room and laid down on the sofa in front of the fire. Best case scenario, maybe the crackling of the fire would lull her to sleep. Worst case, at least she would be awake when the boys came back.

It ended up being the former because the next thing Lily knew someone was kissing her forehead and quietly saying her name. She opened her arms to find James kneeling in front of her.

"Morning, Sleeping Beauty," he said with a fond smile.

It took Lily a second to remember where she was. When she did, she pushed herself into a sitting position, throwing off her blanket and rubbing furiously at her eyes as she did so. There was only the barest hint of light creeping through the windows, making it still incredibly early in the morning.

"How'd it go?" she asked in a voice still slightly croaky from sleep. "Did it work?"

"Ask him yourself," James said with a smile.

Lily looked down past the end of the couch to see the other three Marauders standing there as well. Remus was standing closest to the couch. There were tears in his eyes.

"And?" Lily asked. She stood to her feet and crossed her arms over her chest, not entirely sure she wanted to know the answer. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah," Remus said softly. "I'm great. It worked, Lily. You did it."

"It worked?" Lily gasped. Her hands flew to her mouth in amazement. Remus' own mouth curved into a smile brighter than the sun.

"Yeah," Remus breathed. He was definitely on the verge of crying. "I still changed, but I was me. I could control everything that happened. Lily, this changes everything. I don't have to be scared anymore. I can control it. And you gave me that."

"Technically, Damocles did," Lily pointed out.

"But without you, I never would've been able to use it," Remus said. "You freed me, Lils."

He stepped forward and wrapped his arms around Lily in a fierce hug. She could feel warm tears hitting her neck as she returned the embrace, and the sensation caused tears to well in her own eyes.

"Thank you," Remus whispered.

"You're welcome," Lily said, her voice hoarse with her own emotion.

"We helped too, you know," Peter said from the other side of the couch.

Lily and Remus both laughed at that. Remus gave her a final squeeze before pulling away. James had walked back over to stand with Sirius and Peter, and Remus turned to face the three of them.

"Thank you all," he choked. "You have stood by me when so many others would have turned away. You have given me so much more than I could've ever imagined. And I am honored to have friends like you." He looked back at Lily and added, "And you."

"Please, mate," Sirius said in a rare moment of sincerity. "After all we make you put up with, we should be the ones thanking you."

"Well, in that case," Remus said with a grin. Sirius chuckled.

"Prat," he said.

"Come on, Lily," James said, looking past Remus at his girlfriend standing there in her sweat pants and T-shirt. "Get dressed. We're going up to the Astronomy Tower to watch the sunrise."

"And celebrate our friend's newfound fortune," Sirius added. There was a gleam in his eyes that Lily had learned meant only one thing – Firewhisky.

"Give me a minute," Lily said as she started for the stairs.

"Hurry up, Ginger," Sirius called after her. "We're not waiting for you."

"Yeah, we are," James informed him.

Sirius' pretend grumbling became inaudible as Lily rushed up the stairs to the girls dorms. The light was off in her room since all her roommates were still sound asleep. Lily managed to find her clothes and get changed in the dark room. She also made a point of grabbing a jumper (it was nearly December, after all) as well as her wand (one never knew what might happen with the Marauders around). Lily was slipping on her shoes when Mary rolled over in the next bed and groaned.

"What time is it?" she mumbled, still half asleep.

"Too early for you to be up," Lily whispered back.

She was hoping that would be enough to sate Mary's curiosity. But as she stood to her feet, however, Mary suddenly sat up in bed.

"Where are you going?" Mary asked around a yawn. She rubbed her eyes as she added, "And don't say extra credit because it's too early even for you."

"Go back to sleep," Lily said with a small chuckle. Luckily for her, Mary had a deep and abiding love of beauty rest. She laid back down without a protest and turned onto her side.

"Okay," she mumbled into her pillow.

Lily shook her head, an amused smile pulling at her lips. She took a quick look around the darkened room to be sure no one else had woken up before stepping out the door. She carefully drew it closed behind her, leaving her roommates to slumber on in peace.

X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X

January 30th fell on a Monday their seventh year, much to James' disappointment. Mondays were no good for birthday celebrations. So he decided that he and Lily would have to celebrate her birthday on Sunday night instead. Besides, if they stayed up until midnight, then it would technically be her birthday anyway.

They exited Gryffindor Tower together once the nightly excitement had begun to die down. That wasn't entirely unusual, as the Head Boy and Head Girl had often taken to making rounds of their own. At least, that was how it looked. More often than not they simply wandered the castle talking, exploring, and occasionally causing mischief, although so far none of the latter had been proved.

"So what are we up to tonight?" Lily asked as they stepped through the portrait. "You know, I actually thought of something you lot haven't done yet."

"And what's that?" James asked, slipping his hand into hers.

"Enchanting the ceiling in the Great Hall to mock Slytherin house," Lily said with a grin.

"Lily Evans," James said in pretend shock. "I do believe I'm a bad influence on you."

"Oh, please," Lily said drily. "I like having fun just as much as you do. I'm just better at not getting caught."

"You are aware that I'm the Head Boy," James told her. "I might have to report you."

"I'm not worried," Lily said. She kissed him on the cheek to prove her point. "But really though. Where are we going?"

"You'll see," James said knowingly.

That was all he would say as they made their way through the castle. No amount of needling would knock the answer loose. But eventually it became clear as they started up the steps of the Astronomy Tower. The air got colder as they neared the top, and Lily was suddenly glad she had dressed warmly. It had become something of a habit during these nightly wanderings. One never knew where they might end up.

Finally they reached the top of the tower. Lily's mouth fell open as she took in the sight. There were candles placed all around the landing, and James lit them with a wave of his wand. A turntable on the bench also came to life playing one of Lily's favorite records. A bottle of Firewhisky and two wine glasses rested beside the turntable.

"James Potter," Lily said as she stepped out onto the landing. "Are you trying to be romantic?"

"Maybe," James said with a shrug. "Is it working?"

Lily turned to face him, and there was a smile on her face.

"Maybe," she echoed. She looked around the landing in amazement. "How did you do all this?"

"The boys helped," James said, stepping over to stand beside her. "They got you a present too, but Sirius won't let you have it until tomorrow."

"Well, I suppose I can make do," Lily said. She leaned up and gave James a small kiss. When she pulled back, James held up his pointer finger.

"Before we get this party started," he said, "I have something for you."

He reached into his pocket and pulled out a small box. Lily took it, giving him a curious look in the process.

"It's not gonna explode is it?" she asked suspiciously.

"No," James said with a chuckle. "It's perfectly safe. I promise."

Lily gave him a warning look before carefully opening the box. A small gasp escaped her as she saw what was inside. Resting on a bed of velvet was a golden chain. On the end of it was a small golden snitch about half the size of her thumb with tiny, delicate golden wings. Carved on the front of it in cursive writing were the letters L. E.

"James, it's beautiful," Lily whispered.

"You remember back in fifth year when I kept asking you out?" James asked. Lily nodded as she managed, with visible effort, to pull her gaze from the necklace and up to James. James stuck his hands in his pockets in a nonchalant gesture. "Well, I used to draw Snitches in my notebooks, and in fifth year I started writing L. E. in the middle of them. That was the beginning, really. So I got you that."

"It's perfect," Lily said with a smile.

"Oh!" James exclaimed, as if just remembering. "It opens too. There's a catch on the side."

Lily found the catch on the edge of the Snitch and pressed it with her thumbnail. The top half of the Snitch swung away to create two perfect hemispheres. Inside were two moving pictures, one on each side of the locket. Both had been taken when Lily had visited the Potters for a few days over Christmas break. On the left was a picture of James hovering just above the ground on his broom. Lily was seated behind him with her arms around his waist and her chin on his shoulder. They were both laughing at the camera. On the right side of the locket Lily and James were on a red sofa kissing beneath a sprig of mistletoe that Sirius had conjured. The pictures would have been special enough as stills, but the magical movement of the figures made them seem that much more real.

"You like it?" James asked. He actually sounded nervous, a rare tone for him.

"I love it," Lily said honestly. She looked up at him with a bright smile. "And I love you."

"Do you want to put it on?" James asked.

Lily nodded and handed him the box. He carefully extracted the necklace, slipping the box back into his pocket. Lily turned around with her back to him so he could put the necklace over her head and clasp it behind her neck. She drew her hair out from under the chain as she turned back around.

"You look amazing," James said sincerely.

"You are amazing," Lily responded. She leaned forward and wrapped her arms around his neck in a tight hug. James immediately returned the embrace.

"Happy Birthday, Lily," he said into her ear.

They drew apart after a moment, and James stepped over to the record player.

"Now then," he said, moving the needle further through the record. He paused briefly to be sure he had placed it correctly before coming back over to Lily. A spirited song began to play as James held out his hand. "May I have this dance?"

"You may indeed," Lily said, taking his hand.

Since he had grown up in a respectable family, James Potter had learned how to dance at a young age. He was a far more graceful dancer than most people might have expected. Lily Evans, by contrast, was actually a bit clumsy when it came to dancing. She wasn't exactly the sort to step on everyone's toes, but she tended to stumble through choreographed steps. Thankfully, she found it extremely amusing. She was continually laughing as she danced, which led to James laughing as well.

The one dance Lily could manage to get through without any difficulty was a slow dance. Probably because there was actually very little dancing involved. As luck would have it, they were dancing to a slow song and Lily's head was leaning against James' shoulder when James happened to glance toward the bench where he had laid out the Marauder's Map so they could have some warning if anyone was headed their way. Coming up the stairs of the tower was a set of feet marked Argus Filch.

"Merlin's beard," James muttered, immediately stilling his feet. "It's Filch."

Despite the fact that they were Head Boy and Head Girl, the current state of the Astronomy Tower would technically be considered an abuse of privilege. Still, they could probably have talked their way out of it with almost anyone other than Filch. The notorious little man was certain to find some way to get them into trouble.

James and Lily both reacted without a word to one another. Lily drew her wand and extinguished the candles with a wave. James dashed over to the map, quickly tapping it with his wand and reciting the phrase that would cause its contents to vanish. He also pulled the turntable needle from the record it was currently playing. James passed the Firewhisky bottle and wine glasses to Lily before placing the record in its sleeve. Then he hurried to the furthest edge of the landing from the stairs, motioning for Lily to follow him. Once they were at the edge, James pulled the invisibility cloak from somewhere (Lily was seriously starting to wonder if he ever went anywhere without it) and draped it over both of them.

He was not a moment too soon. The second they vanished from view, they could both hear the sound of footsteps coming up the tower steps. They huddled together with baited breath. While they might be invisible, the candles and turntable were a dead giveaway that something had been happening atop the Astronomy Tower. Thankfully, Filch wasn't exactly the brightest bulb. Hopefully he would believe the action was long over and walk away to write a report.

Filch was nearly to the top when Lily suddenly gasped.

"The map," she hissed.

James groaned as he realized he had left the map on the bench. It was too late to do anything about it now because the top of Filch's head had just become visible. But maybe he would just assume it was blank parchment and leave it be.

"Who's there?" Filch called as he stepped out onto the landing.

He was carrying a lantern as per usual, but his cat was strangely absent. His eyes eagerly roamed about the darkness searching for a student to reprimand before falling curiously on the turntable. A closer inspection of it seemed to provide him with nothing interesting. Then he saw the parchment.

"What's this?" he asked, picking it up.

He held the parchment up to his face and studied it through narrowed eyes. It certainly looked normal enough with all the ink hidden. Still, Filch looked far from convinced. He lifted his head and looked at the candles placed around the landing.

"Probably those idiot Gryffindor boys," he muttered. "Vermin. Thought they could get around old Filch. Well, I'll-"

He trailed off as the map came to life in his hands. Ink began to spread along its surface as a series of words appeared

"What the devil?" Filch said. He pulled the map up closer to his face as he stared in amazement.

"Here it comes," James breathed in Lily's ear.

"'Mr. Moony would like to thank Mr. Filch for his utterly worthless service to this school,'" Filch read. His forehead furrowed at the insult, but he continued reading. "'Mr. Wormtail would like to add that Mr. Filch's ugly mug is not attractive to anyone, least of all his cat, who only sticks around because she is blind.' She is not! How dare they talk about her like that!"

Under the invisibility cloak, Lily tried her best to suppress a giggle. A small noise still escaped despite her best efforts. Filch's head shot up, but when he failed to see anyone, he returned his attention to the map.

"'Mr. Padfoot would also like to add that the ugliness and stupidity of Mr. Filch's cat are surpassed only by his own,'" Filch read in a tone of rising anger, "'and that it is a miracle he is still employed.' The little gits. I'll make them regret this!"

This time neither Lily nor James could contain them laughter. James quickly put his free hand up to his mouth, while Lily pressed her face into his jumper to try and muffle any sound. Fortunately for them, Filch was far too incensed to hear them.

"'Mr. Prongs,'" he continued through gritted teeth, "'bids Mr. Filch good night and suggests that he keep a better eye on his office because it would be a shame if someone were to-'" Filch paused, reading the last bit in silence. Then his eyes flew wide open. "What?!"

He dashed for the stairs, tripping over his own feet in the process and nearly falling down the stairs. He managed to regain his balance and hurried down the stairs, map still in hand. The noise he made as he ran down the staircase was loud enough to wake the dead. Lily and James held their breaths until they were completely sure he was out of earshot. Then they burst into uncontrollable laughter.

"That," Lily gasped around her laughter, "was amazing."

"I wish the boys could've seen his face," James said as he pulled off the invisibility cloak. Immediately they both dissolved into laughter once more.

It took several minutes before they finally calmed down.

"Did you see how fast he ran out of here?" Lily asked. She reached up to wipe her eyes, which were now damp from laughter. "What did that last bit say?"

"Filch's worst nightmare," James said with a grin. "A messy office."

"That's his worst nightmare?" Lily asked in surprise.

"Did you see how fast he ran?" James asked. Lily chuckled a little at the memory.

"Good point," she said.

She and James walked over to the curved bench, where they set down the record, Firewhisky bottle, and wine glasses.

"He took your map," Lily pointed out as she sat down on the bench.

"It's alright," James said with a shrug. He sat down beside her and stretched his arms behind him so he could lean back on them. Then he smiled over at Lily. "It was worth it."

"The boys are gonna kill you," Lily said.

"No, they won't," James said with a grin. "They'll be too thrilled that the Charm against Filch worked. Plus we've still got the cloak, and we know this castle better than anyone else. And we can always just steal it back." He turned his gaze toward the night sky beyond the tower, and his demeanor seemed to grow more serious. "Besides, I doubt the map would be getting much more use anyway."

"What does that mean?" Lily asked curiously.

"Well, we only have a few months of school left," James pointed out. "After that, it would be useless to us. And we may have more important things to do in the next few months than pranks."

"Like what?" Lily asked. She shifted her position on the bench so she was facing James with her right leg tucked up under her.

"There's a war going on out there," James said. "We all know it, and we've been preparing for it. But in a few months we're actually going to be out in it. I want to be sure we're ready for what's coming. For what we have to do."

"You sound like you have some sort of plan," Lily said. It was more a question than a statement.

"There's this group called the Order of the Phoenix," James said, finally turning his eyes back to Lily. "They're like a sort of wizard army standing against Voldemort. They fight the Death Eaters and try to protect people. Sirius and I have been talking about it a lot, and we want to try and find them. His Uncle Alphard left him a lot of money, and my family's rich. Neither of us will have to work if we don't want to. If we could find the Order of the Phoenix, we could be full-time members. Go on missions whenever they needed. Maybe even help fund them."

"You've really thought about this a lot, haven't you?" Lily said quietly.

"I need to do this, Lily," James told her. "It's the right thing to do."

James was not normally one to argue ethics, which was part of why his simple argument of right struck Lily as powerfully as it did.

"Then I'll do it with you," she said simply.

"Lily, this would be really dangerous," James warned. "We could get hurt or even killed."

"We've been practicing for the past year," Lily reminded him. "Maybe it was for a reason. For this. Besides, you said it yourself. It's the right thing to do."

In answer, James reached out and took her hand in his.

"I had hoped you might say that," he admitted.

"Do you know how to contact this Order?" Lily asked.

"We think Dumbledore's probably involved," James said. "It just makes sense seeing as he's the only one Voldemort is afraid of. And if he's not involved, he probably knows who is. We just have to find a way to make him tell us."

"Well, when you figure out how to get in, I want in too," Lily said firmly.

"I wouldn't dream of doing it without you," James said honestly. A smile crossed his face, and he gave Lily's hand a final squeeze before letting go. "But enough of that. It's your birthday."

"Not technically," Lily pointed out.

James looked down at the watch his parents had given him for his seventeenth birthday.

"Actually, it is," he said triumphantly. "It is seven minutes past twelve a.m. on January 30th of 1978." He looked up at Lily with a grin. "Happy eighteenth birthday, Ms. Evans."

"Thank you, Mr. Potter," Lily said with a grin of her own.

"I think we should celebrate," James said strongly.

He put the record back on the turntable, and a catchy tune began to play. Then he picked up the bottle of Firewhisky. James popped off the top and poured some of the fiery liquid into both glasses, one of which he handed to Lily.

"To my wonderful girlfriend," James said, holding up his glass. "May the next year of your life be your happiest yet."

They clinked their glasses together.

X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X

The last weekend in May was usually one of the biggest of the spring term. It was the last inter-house Quidditch match of the year, which also made it the last real cause for celebration before final exams. Typically the match pitted Gryffindor against Ravenclaw. This year it was a big deal both because it was supposed to be a terribly exciting match and also because Gryffindor stood a chance of winning the Quidditch Cup if they could just pull out enough points to outscore Slytherin. Lily and Peter had gone down to the pitch early to save front row seats for their friends. Remus was finishing up a tutoring session, and Marlene and Mary were trying to finish up some of their final homework assignments of the year before the match. Since James and Sirius were both on the team, that left Lily and Peter sitting alone on their row.

"I can't believe this is it," Lily said as the stands slowly filled with people. "Our last Hogwarts Quidditch match. It just doesn't seem real."

"Nope," Peter said quietly.

"This is it," Lily said as if it was just now occurring to her. "We've got classes next week and then N.E.W.T.s the next, and as soon as we get our results, it's over. Seven years done just like that."

She snapped as if to prove how quickly it had gone.

"Can we talk about this another time?" Peter asked, shifting uncomfortably in his seat.

Something in his tone made Lily look over at him in concern. His right leg was bouncing up and down anxiously, and he was wringing his hands in his lap.

"Are you okay?" Lily asked.

"Yeah," Peter said quickly. His leg immediately stopped bouncing.

"Are you sure?" Lily asked, not quite believing it.

Peter sighed, and something in him seemed to deflate.

"It's just that it's almost over," he said quietly. "All of it. The last seven years have been amazing. I made the best friends I've ever had. But now it's all ending. We're going to graduate and go off to find separate jobs, and that'll be it."

"That will not be it," Lily told him. "You and the boys are not gonna stop being friends just because you don't live together anymore. In fact, I wager you'll be best friends for the rest of your lives."

"Maybe," Peter said. He didn't sound too sure. "But it'll all be different."

"True," Lily agreed. "But different doesn't have to be bad. We get to go out in the world and figure out what sort of people we want to be. We get to find out what we want and go after it."

"All I want is to not lose my friends," Peter admitted in a tone so quiet Lily nearly missed it. He was looking down at his lap, a silent testament to how deeply this was affecting him.

"Well, you won't," Lily said firmly. "Those boys love you. You're not just a sidekick to them. You're their mate. You've lived with them for seven years, for Merlin's sake. You lot have spent more detentions together than I care to count. And then there's the Animagus thing. If that doesn't bond people together for life, I don't know what would."

Peter looked up at her, and there was a hint of a smile on his face. Lily leaned over and bumped him gently with her shoulder.

"Face it, Peter," she said. "You're stuck with those idiots for the rest of your life."

"You think so?" Peter asked.

"I know it," Lily assured him. "And for what it's worth, you've got me too."

"That's actually worth a lot," Peter said honestly. He turned his head to look out across the Quidditch pitch. "It's just that I don't really know what I want to do with my life after this. Everybody seems to have an idea but me."

"You want to know a secret?" Lily said. "Most of us don't know where we're going. We're just sort of making it up as we go. But that's the point of growing up, isn't it? To figure out who you are and where you're going?"

"You and the boys already know who you are," Peter said. He shook his head. "I'm not sure I do. The whole time we've been here, I've been part of this group. Apart from that, I don't know who I am."

"You'll figure it out," Lily said confidently. "And whoever Peter Pettigrew turns out to be, he's gonna be someone worth knowing."

A hopefully smile crossed Peter's face as he looked back at Lily.

"Thanks," he said sincerely.

"You're welcome," Lily told him.

Marlene and Mary appeared at the end of the row just then. Lily scooted over to make room for the girls, leaving a space on the other side of Peter for Remus.

"Cutting it a little close," Lily said.

"I am so ready to be done with Herbology," Marlene muttered as she and Mary sat down.

"Nice sweater," Mary said, directing a smirk at Lily.

Lily's sweater had been a Christmas present from Mr. and Mrs. Potter. It was red with a golden stripe running across the middle of the shirt and the two sleeves. A thin gold line ran around the collar of the sweater with a similar line running across the hem and the cuffs. The Gryffindor house crest had been stitched on where a left breast pocket would have been. On the back of the sweater the word Potter was written in an arc in golden letters, and a large red 7, James' number, was stitched beneath it in the middle of the golden stripe. The sweater had been knitted by the Potters' house elf, who seemed to have taken quite a shine to Lily during her visit. Lily currently had the sleeves rolled up due to the spring warmth, but she wasn't about to miss a chance to wear it in support of her boyfriend.

"You're just jealous," Lily told Mary with a grin.

"Ladies, you're both pretty," Marlene said wearily.

"That Herbology essay really wore you down, didn't it?" Lily asked.

"You better find some energy before the game starts," Mary told her. She quickly sat up straight as the announcer's voice echoed through the stadium. "Here it is!"

Remus appeared at the other end of the row and squished in beside Peter.

"Did I miss anything?" he asked.

"No, they're just about to come out," Peter told him.

As if on cue, two teams came flying out onto the pitch. The student sections hit their feet as everyone began cheering and clapping.

"Come on, Gryffindor!" Mary yelled with her usual pep.

"Knock 'em dead, boys!" Marlene shouted. When Mary looked over at her in surprise, Marlene shrugged. "What? It's a Muggle thing. Apparently it means 'good luck.'"

Mary shook her head and went back to cheering.

"Go get 'em, James!" Remus called as he clapped madly. "You show 'em, Sirius!"

"Go Potter and Black!" Peter cried, punching the air with his fist.

"Come on, James!" Lily yelled above all the others. She had always been an enthusiastic fan of Gryffindor Quidditch, but now that her boyfriend was captain, she got even more excited about it. "Get us that Cup!"

James swooped by their particular section of the stands and slowed his broom long enough to blow a kiss to Lily. She laughed and blew one back.

"Get a room, you two!" Mary called.

The stands quieted down a bit as both teams lined up in the middle of the pitch. Madam Hooch gave the same little speech she always did about wanting a nice, clean game. She released the Snitch first, and it took off as the crowd waited with baited breath. Then out came the Quaffle. Time seemed to stand still as it soared up between the two teams. Then the players came to life and they were off.

The game raged on for three hours before the Gryffindor seeker finally nabbed the Snitch. Gryffindor won by 210 points, which caused an outrageous amount of screaming and clapping and jumping up and down in the Gryffindor stands. Their total score was 60 points more than they needed, firmly securing the Quidditch Cup for Gryffindor House. The last time Gryffindor had won the Quidditch Cup had been four years earlier when James had first made the team. It seemed only fitting that they win it again during his final year as captain.

James soared up toward the stands and drew his broom to a halt parallel with Gryffindor's first row. He leaned out sideways as Lily leaned out over the railing, and they shared a long kiss. That led to even more Gryffindor cheers, although many of the other students found themselves joining in at the sight of their Head Boy and Head Girl kissing.

"That's quite an end you're making there, Captain," Lily said when they pulled apart.

"You know me," James said cockily. "Go big or go home."

Lily pulled him in for another kiss.

* * *

You guys know the drill. Please, please spare the time to leave a small review. I put a lot of time and work into this story, so I don't think a bit of feedback is too much to ask. Also, thank you to everyone who does review. You're amazing. The next chapter will cover the remaining half of 1978. It will include how the Marauders and Lily finally got involved in the Order of the Phoenix, a bit of Order action, Lily and Sirius having an adventure, and Christmas with the whole gang at the Potter house. So there's lots to look forward to. It'll be up in three days as per usual. And if you can't wait that long, I posted a one-shot two days ago called "A Study in Black" that examines each of the five members of the last generation of the House of Black (Andromeda, Sirius, Regulus, Narcissa, and Bellatrix) and how their individual decisions contributed to its downfall. It's written in a far more formal style that I usually use, but I had a ton of fun with it. So definitely give that a look if it sounds interesting. And as always, thanks for reading!


	8. 1978

Author's Note: This chapter covers the rest of the year after Lily and the Marauders graduated. The format of the story will remain the same, but now it will cover actual numerical years rather than school years. There's a little bit of everything in this chapter: sadness, happiness, action, and fluff. But not necessarily in that order. I don't think this chapter really needs any explaining. It's one of my very favorites, so hopefully you guys will enjoy it too.

* * *

 **1978**

Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry had officially been left behind. The spring term had been over for almost a week now, much to the delight of the fresh graduates. The Marauders, Lily, and Marlene had spent the last few days at the Potter mansion for one final hurrah. Tomorrow all but James and Sirius would be heading home to their own families. But for now they were savoring this one final chance to be together.

It was the middle of the afternoon, and they were all playing a Chasers-only version of Quidditch behind the house when Trina, the Potters' house elf, came out to tell them a visitor had arrived who wished to see all six of them. A few quick questions from James produced a description that sounded suspiciously like Professor Dumbledore.

"Do you think this is it?" Sirius asked once all six of them were on the ground.

They all knew what "it" was. They had discussed it during the final meeting of their "study group." Shortly before school ended, James and Sirius had gone in to see Professor Dumbledore and had laid out fairly bluntly their desire to aid in the fight against Voldemort. Dumbledore had neither confirmed nor denied his involvement with the Order of the Phoenix, instead saying in a seemingly off-handed way that he was planning to take a trip soon near where the Potters lived and that he might stop by for a chat. Something about the way he worded it had convinced both boys that this visit had to do with the Order and could very well be their way into the organization.

The six teenagers filed into the house, leaving their brooms on the rack next to the backdoor. They followed the cordial house elf up the right-hand side of grand staircase and down the corridor toward Mr. Potter's office. When they reached it, Mr. Potter and his wife were notably absent. But seated behind Mr. Potter's desk was the old Hogwarts headmaster.

There were two chairs in front of the desk, and Sirius motioned for Lily and Marlene to take them. He, Remus, and Peter all piled onto the leather couch back against the wall. That left James standing, but as the technical host of this little meeting, he hardly seemed to mind.

"Thank you, Trina," he said. "Would you please make sure we're not disturbed?"

"Of course," the house elf said.

She gave a small curtsy before leaving the office, closing the thick wooden door behind her. Once she was gone, James crossed his arms and walked over to stand behind Lily's chair. Then there was silence as they all waited for Dumbledore to speak.

"You all look quite well," he finally said. He directed a warm smile at each of them in turn. "I trust your first week as graduates has been well spent."

"No offense, Professor," Sirius said bluntly, leaning forward so his elbows were supported by his knees, "but I doubt you came out here to discuss our summer plans."

"Astute as always, Mr. Black," Dumbledore said. "You are quite right. My purpose here is of a much graver nature. In fact, the conversation we are about to have may not leave this room. You may not discuss it with anyone else aside from those currently present. This is for your own safety as well as the safety of any you might wish to tell. Do you agree to these terms?"

"We do, sir," James said. The silence of the other five proved their agreement.

"Very well," Dumbledore said. The jovial twinkle that seemed to perpetually inhabit his eyes had vanished, making it clear just how serious this conversation was about to be. The teenagers before him straightened unconsciously as they waited. "Before we begin, I would like to make clear that if any of you wish to leave this room at any time, you are perfectly free to do so. This conversation will be wiped from your memory and you will be free to go. Is there any among you who wishes to leave now?"

The six teenagers all looked at one another, and one by one, they shook their heads.

"We're staying," Lily told Dumbledore.

"We want to hear what you have to say," Remus added.

"Excellent," Dumbledore said. He leaned forward, resting his clasped hands on the desk in front of him. "Your graduation from Hogwarts has moved you into the adult world. You are no longer children, and I will not address you as such. You are well aware by now that there is a war raging in our world. One side wishes to destroy all it deems inferior in favor of creating a pure magical world. The soldiers of this side are known to you as Death Eaters. But there is another side to this war as well, a side that fights back against the Death Eaters and all they stand for. Some of you have indicated to me a desire to join in the fight against Voldemort. Is this sentiment true for all of you?"

"Absolutely," Marlene said without missing a beat. "We've all talked about it. We're in."

The other five nodded firmly in agreement.

"I had hoped you might say that," Dumbledore admitted. "Then if I may, Ms. McKinnon, allow me to tell you what exactly is it you are attempting to get yourselves into. As I said, Voldemort possesses an army. But there is also an army standing against him. It is called the Order of the Phoenix. An organization of witches and wizards sworn to stand against Voldemort's army in any way they can, thereby defending the freedom of the magical world as well as the Muggle world."

"And you want us," Sirius said eagerly.

"There has been some question about the possibility of your recruitment, yes," Dumbledore told him. "Several of you have already been recommended by other members of the Order."

"Wait, there's people in the Order who know us?" Peter asked in surprise.

"There are indeed," Dumbledore said. "However, I am not at liberty to disclose their identities to you at this time. But know that, when asked about your character, they gave quite impeccable references. Of course, there is also the matter of your 'study group' as you called it."

Six sets of eyebrows nearly hit the roof.

"How did you…?" Lily began, glancing briefly at Marlene beside her.

"I know a great deal about what goes on at Hogwarts," Dumbledore told her with a hint of a smile. "Indeed, I know far more than my students realize."

"If you knew," James asked carefully, "then why did you let us keep doing it?"

"Because I was afraid that we might one day need the skills you were developing," Dumbledore said. The smile had vanished from his eyes, leaving behind a weary old man. "In fact, the initiative you showed in practicing together is the main reason your names were considered."

"So it was like a test?" Remus asked. "Did we pass?"

"With flying colors," Dumbledore told them. "Your efforts are also the reason this little interview is happening collectively rather than individually."

"An interview?" Sirius pressed. "So we're in?"

"You are on the threshold," Dumbledore corrected. "Whether or not you walk through the door before you is entirely up to you. However, before you decide, I must warn you that life in the Order is not as romantic as it sounds. You would be in the frontlines in the war against evil. I cannot guarantee your safety, nor that of your loved ones. Any one of you could be injured or killed. Or worse."

"There's worse?" Peter asked with a gulp.

"When dealing with dark magic, I'm afraid there is far worse," Dumbledore told him.

Peter suddenly looked as pale as a sheet. There were no snide remarks or snappy jokes from the others either. All six teenagers were sitting perfectly still as they waited for Dumbledore to continue. And continue he did.

"The Death Eaters are formidable opponents," he said gravely. "The magic they use is often vile, and for many of them, there is no line they will not cross. If it were to be discovered that you had any connection with the Order, the lives of your loved ones could be in great danger. Many of our members are in hiding to protect their families. Some have been gravely injured while on missions. Some have been captured and tortured to death. Others have watched their friends being savagely murdered in front of them. This fight is not an easy one, nor is it without cost. One or all of you could lose your lives to it. I do not say this to frighten you. I only wish to impress upon each and every one of you the reality of what we face. There are dark times ahead, and it is up to you to choose what part you will play in them. It is not a choice to be made lightly, nor is it one that someone else can make for you. School is over. There are no more professors or parents telling you what to think. The time has come to stand on your own feet. Each of you must now decide for yourselves what it is that you believe in. And how far you will go to protect it."

The room was so quiet a pin drop could have been heard. For a long moment, none of the teenagers moved. They sat with furrowed brows as they carefully processed Dumbledore's words. James was the first to react. He put his hand on Lily's shoulder, causing her to look up at him. Something passed between them, and then she nodded.

"I'm in," James said, looking up at Dumbledore. He said it in a low voice, but in the silence of the study, it sounded almost like a shout. Like a loud declaration of war.

"So am I," Lily said immediately.

"Count me in," Sirius said. For once there was not so much as a trace of humor in his face. He spoke the words as solemnly as one would a sacred oath.

"Me too," Marlene said firmly.

"And me," Remus echoed.

There came a brief but deafening silence during which it seemed the entire world was holding its breath. And then Peter said with a slight tremor in his voice, "I'm in too."

Before Dumbledore could speak, Lily had turned around as far as her chair would allow. Her gaze seemed to bore into Peter where he sat on the sofa with hunched shoulders and trembling hands.

"Why?" she asked.

"What?" Peter asked in surprise.

"Why are you in?" Lily clarified.

"Lily," James began quietly, but Lily shrugged his hand off her shoulder.

"I'm not saying you can't do this," she said to Peter. "In fact, I'm pretty sure you could. But I want to know why. I've heard everyone else say why they want this. To do the right thing. To protect their families. But every time it comes up, you go quiet. So why, Peter? Why do you want to do this?"

"Lily," James repeated in a stronger tone.

"No, he needs to know why," Lily said firmly. "And if he doesn't, then he shouldn't be here."

The entire office was deadly silent. Remus in particular seemed highly uncomfortable as he stared down at the floor. Peter looked nervously at James and Sirius, but neither of them spoke. Marlene too was silent.

"I…" Peter began. He trailed off, too flustered to find any words.

"I'm not trying to put you on the spot here," Lily said in a gentler tone. "But I've stared a Death Eater in the face before and I froze. I was terrified. What's out there is terrifying, and it's dark, and no amount of training in a secret passage is gonna prepare us for that. When you find yourself in the thick of a battle with curses flying everywhere and a Death Eater bearing down on you, you're gonna want to run. Not because you're weak or a coward, but because it's the smart thing to do. The only thing that's gonna let you stand your ground in that moment is gonna be knowing what you're fighting for. And if the only reason you're there is because your friends did it, that won't be good enough. You can't just do this because everyone else is. Like Professor Dumbledore said, it's time to stand on your own feet, Peter. If you do this, it has to be because of you. So why do you want to do this?"

All eyes were now on Peter as they waited for his answer. But he didn't crack under the pressure like some of them were expecting. He didn't fidget or wring his hands. Instead, he straightened his back and looked Lily straight in the eyes.

"For me," he said. It was quiet at first, but then he set his jaw and his voice grew stronger. "I'm doing this for me. You're right. I've spent my whole life tagging after other people. Doing whatever they did. So this decision I'm making for me. I want to do something good. Something brave. Something that matters. Not because my friends did it, but because I knew it was right. Because I had the courage to do what needed to be done, no matter how terrifying it was. So I'm doing this for me."

Lily gave him a weighing look, and then the corner of her mouth pulled up into a smile.

"That's good enough for me," she said.

"Me too," Sirius said, clapping a proud hand on Peter's shoulder.

All eyes turned back to Professor Dumbledore to find that he too was smiling a little.

"Spoken like a true Gryffindor," he said to Peter. "Very well. If you are all completely certain-"

"We are," James interrupted.

"-then I will inform the Order," Dumbledore said. He stood to his feet, and his former students instinctively did the same. "In the next few weeks, you will each be contacted by a member of the Order with whom you are familiar. They will take you each in turn on a trial mission where your capabilities will be evaluated and your commitment to this cause will be put to the test. At that point, you will then be given one final chance to either withdraw and have all related memories wiped from your mind or to continue and be sworn in as a member of the Order."

"That sounds like a pretty intense initiation," Marlene admitted.

"We are at war, Ms. McKinnon," Dumbledore pointed out. "And you are all signing up to be soldiers. We must make sure you are fully equipped before we send you into battle."

"We'll be waiting," James said. The others all nodded in agreement.

"Excellent," Dumbledore said. "Then I will get the ball rolling, as the Muggles say. Now if you will excuse me, I would like to have a far more mundane conversation with Mr. and Mrs. Potter before I go."

"I'll take you to them," James offered, moving to open the door.

"That's quite alright," Dumbledore said. "I am more than capable of seeing myself out. And I believe you all have much to discuss."

He stepped around the desk and headed toward the door.

"Good-bye, Professor," Lily said when he reached it. The others quickly echoed her words.

Dumbledore turned around long enough to give them an acknowledging nod and a smile. Then he disappeared down the hallway, leaving the six teenagers alone. For a moment there was only silence in the study. Finally Lily sat back down, and the other followed suit.

"Blimey," Sirius said once they were all seated. "We're in."

"Not quite," Marlene pointed out. "There's still that mission thing. And they can always just use the Confundus Charm and make us forget all of this."

"They won't," James said confidently.

"You okay, Remus?" Lily asked. The werewolf was frowning down at the large ornate rug on the wooden floor, but he looked up as she spoke.

"It just all feels so real now," Remus said. "There's a war out there. And we're in it."

"We were already in it," James pointed out.

"But it's different now," Remus insisted. He looked them each in the eye in turn. "I know this is the beginning of something, but it also feels like an ending."

"It's like Dumbledore said," Peter said quietly. "We're not kids anymore. We're soldiers."

The thought was indeed a sobering one. Silence fell again as they all let that thought soak in. It would be some time before any of them spoke again.

X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X

It was supposed to be a simple mission, which was the main reason Lily and James had been allowed to go. Despite having proven themselves quite adequately, they were still considered too green to be sent on their own missions just yet. Instead, they had been sent in as back-up for newlywed duo Frank and Alice Longbottom. Both Longbottoms were highly talented new aurors, which made them perfect as teachers. But they were also fellow Gryffindors and old friends, having graduated three years before Lily and James.

The mission's goal had been fairly straightforward – stake out a suspected Death Eater meeting and hopefully get some names to add to the Order's list of known Death Eaters. It should have been observation only. The meeting was supposed to be mostly Death Eaters who were further down the ranks, so Frank hadn't expected there to be too much trouble. And for the first thirty minutes, he had been right. Then all hell had broken loose.

Looking back on it later, none of the four would be entirely sure just what had happened. One minute they had been crouched safely in the cover of the trees, and the next minute the Death Eaters were on them. Spells were flying everywhere, lighting up the dark woods. A few of the trees burst into flames as they were struck by fire-related curses. Everyone was shouting and running. It was impossible to tell what was going on.

When it became clear that they weren't going to be able to fight their way out, Frank yelled for everyone to Apparate to the rendezvous. Lily did it without question. There came a horrible but familiar squeezing sensation, and then she was standing in front of the agreed safe house. It was out in the middle of a cornfield, which made it feel as if it were in the middle of nowhere. Alice appeared right behind Lily, and then Frank a second later. The couple immediately caught hold of each other in a tight hold. Lily's eyes scanned the field, but there was no sign of James.

"Where's James?" she asked the Longbottoms. It was a miracle her voice shook as little as it did.

"I thought he was with you," Alice said, looking up at Frank.

"I lost sight of him in the trees," Frank admitted. Something passed between them, and Lily's slamming heartbeat turned to a dull roar in her ears.

"I'm going back," she said.

She turned on her heel, fully prepared to Apparate, but Alice caught hold of her hand.

"It's not safe," Alice said strongly.

"I'm not leaving him out there," Lily informed her. "He could be hurt."

"Or he could be fine," Frank pointed out. "There are a hundred possible reasons he's not here yet. Maybe he saw a chance for some intel and he took it. Maybe he had a stowaway when he Appareted, and he's laying low to make sure he lost them."

"Or maybe he's dead," Lily choked.

"He can handle himself, Lily," Alice said, giving Lily's hand a squeeze. "Let's give him a little time before we start to worry."

"We'll go in and make some tea," Frank said calmly. "If he's not here when we finish it, then I'll go back and look for him myself."

Still, Lily hesitated. She looked pleadingly at Alice, who had become something of a surrogate older sister to her during their shared years at Hogwarts. Alice nodded encouragingly.

"Okay," Lily whispered.

Alice released Lily's hand and instead wrapped her arm around Lily's shoulders.

"Come on," she said, steering Lily toward the house. She glanced back over her shoulder, and Lily got the very distinct impression that Alice and Frank were having a silent conversation. She was also quite sure that she didn't want to know just what exactly it was they weren't saying aloud.

The house they entered was old and rarely used, so the interior was a bit faded. Alice led Lily past the rickety staircase and down the hall to the living room, motioning at a worn sofa. Then she headed into the kitchen. Frank used his wand to light a fire in the fireplace before going to join her. He opened one of the cabinets and pulled out three mugs while Alice put a kettle on. Under normal circumstances, Lily found the sound of boiling water quite comforting. Tonight, however, it just served to make her more agitated. She started to pace the frayed and faded rug, careful to keep an eye on the small clock over the fireplace as it ticked from one minute to the next with maddening slowness.

Thirty minutes later the tea was gone and there was still no sign of James. Lily was on the verge of pacing a hole through the rug. Frank and Alice were both sitting quietly on the lumpy sofa. Its upholstery was worn in places, revealing white stuffing. Alice had tried several times to get Lily to sit, but she finally seemed to have given up. As the clock struck ten, Lily could feel herself giving up as well.

"Alright," Frank said, setting down his empty mug. "I'm gonna go look for him."

He gave Alice a quick kiss before getting up from the couch. Lily met his eyes, and he nodded as he walked behind the couch toward the hallway. A moment later the door closed behind him. Silence reigned briefly, broken only by the ticking of the mantle clock.

"I can't take this anymore," Lily muttered. "I'm going with him."

She crossed the rug on her way to the door. Alice quickly set down her mug on the floor and got to her feet, clearly meaning to intercept.

"Lily, wait," she called.

"No, I'm not waiting another bloody minute!" Lily yelled. She swung around, a mixture of anger and fear contorting her face. "James is out there! I couldn't live with myself if something happened to him and I'd done nothing to help!"

"And he couldn't live with himself if something happened to you," Alice said as she came around the sofa. She calmly placed her hands on Lily's upper arms. "I know what it's like for the person you love to be out there and for you to have no idea if they're alive or dead. But you running right into a trap is not going to help James. He's smart, and he's a very talented wizard. He knows what to do. And this? The waiting? This is the worst bit. Especially the first time. It gets easier after this, I promise. It never truly goes away, but it does get more bearable. And most of the time they do come home."

The anger had slowly faded from Lily's face as Alice's words sunk in. Now she could feel her eyes beginning to burn as the fear took over. Part of her almost wished Alice had lied and assured her that James would come back safe, but another part of her was immensely grateful for Alice's honest nature.

"I can't lose him," Lily whispered.

"I know," Alice said with a sad smile. "Believe me, I know. But Frank's good at this. If James is out there, Frank will find him."

Lily forced herself to nod, but she could feel tears welling in her eyes. Alice opened her arms and hugged Lily to her. Lily's hands took tight hold of the back of Alice's jumper as she tried to pull herself together. She refused to let her tears fall. Not like this. Not when Alice had probably been through far worse. But Alice didn't berate her for being weak. Nor did she offer false promises about everything being alright. She just held on tight, letting her silent understanding anchor Lily.

They had only been standing like that for a few seconds when the front door opened again. Lily immediately tensed in Alice arms as they both held their breath.

"Oi!" Frank's voice called from the hallway. "Look who I found out here."

Lily pulled away from Alice and dashed into the hallway, her heart slamming in her chest. She skidded to a halt on the creaky wood floor beside the decaying banister and stared. There was Frank with a weary grin on his face. And there behind him, bruised and dirty but mercifully alive, was James.

"Sorry I'm late," he said wearily.

That was all the talking he had time for because Lily suddenly sprang into motion. She practically flew the last few steps to the door and flung herself at James. The force of the impact knocked him back a half step. Lily's arms locked themselves around his neck, and the tears she had been fighting finally broke loose. James put his own arms firmly around her as he buried his face in her hair.

"Don't you ever do that to me again," Lily choked around her tears.

"I'll do my best," James promised.

Lily forced herself to pull away so she could look him up and down. There were a few minor bruises on his face, but otherwise he seemed fine.

"Are you okay?" she asked, looking up at him through damp eyelashes.

"I'm fine," James assured her. "Frank and I were separated, and I had to circle back towards the barn. Turns out there was an Anti-Disapparition Jinx on it. I had to lay low until the Death Eaters left and I could get clear of it."

"Well, we're glad you're alright," Alice's voice said.

Lily turned to see that Alice had entered the hallway, and she and Frank were both smiling.

"So am I," James said with a light chuckle.

"I'll go reheat the kettle," Alice told him.

She slipped her hand into Frank's, and the two of them headed back toward the kitchen. Once they were gone, Lily turned back to James, who gave her his best disarming smile. But instead of smiling back, Lily punched him in the arm.

"Ow," James cried, although it was more from surprise than pain.

"That is for making me worried sick," Lily told him sternly. Then her expression softened. "And this is for coming back in one piece."

She put her hand on his neck and tilted his head down so she could press her lips to his in a small kiss. James was grinning when she pulled away.

"Maybe we should get separated more often," James teased.

"Don't you dare," Lily warned. She wrapped her arms around his neck in another hug. "I love you too much to lose you, James Potter."

James put his own arms tightly around Lily.

"I love you too, Lily Evans," he told her.

Lily let her eyes drift shut in contentment. Yes, there was a war going on, and yes, they could easily have died tonight. But they hadn't. They were both alive and well. And for now, that was enough.

X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X

It wasn't really until the first of September when none of them packed their trunks and boarded a magical train that it really truly sunk in that they had left Hogwarts behind for good. It was around that same time that the war finally began to get to Lily. But it wasn't exactly in the way one might have expected. She wasn't sick of the missions and the fighting and the close calls. In fact, she found it all exhilarating in its own way, although she would have given it up in a heartbeat if it had meant the end of the war. And she wasn't haunted by the faces of the dead or kept up at night terrified that evil would someday drown the world, although she had certainly had her fair share of sleepless nights as well as dreams haunted by the deaths of loved ones. No, what finally got to Lily was how normal it all seemed. Or more accurately, how far from normal she had really come. She was eighteen, for Merlin's sake! She should be spending her nights out partying and doing stupid things that she would regret later, not going toe-to-toe with dark wizards. In short, she felt more like a soldier than a teenager. And while that shift might have been necessary, it didn't stop Lily from occasionally missing normal.

She said as much to Sirius one day while they were laying out on the grass behind the Potters' house. After joining the Order, Lily had only stayed with her parents for a few weeks before inventing some magical job and moving in with the Potters. Muggle attacks were increasing, so it was safer for her family if she stayed away. The Potters had been extremely good about it and had given her a bedroom of her very own. Sirius was still living there as well, and since he and Lily now shared a much smaller dinner table and common room as well as a bathroom, they had been spending a fair bit more time together. James had been unexpectedly called up the night before as a last minute stand-in on a raid, his parents had gone out that morning on business, and Trina the house elf was busy cooking. And so it was that Sirius and Lily, left to their own devices, came to find themselves laying on the back lawn discussing their lives.

"I just miss being normal, you know?" Lily said as she stared up at the clouds floating lazily overhead. A cloud of a completely different kind drifted past as Sirius released a puff from his cigarette.

"Were you ever really normal?" Sirius asked drily. "You were performing wandless magic at the age of nine, for Merlin's sake."

"You know what I mean," Lily said. She pushed herself up on her right elbow and rested her head against her hand so she was looking down at Sirius. "I miss being able to wander down a street of shops without always looking over my shoulder. To be able to go to a pub and have a few drinks without worrying that the bloke in the corner might be a Death Eater. Sometimes I just wish I could have one day, just one, where I could pretend we're not in a war. That's all I want. Just one normal day."

Sirius inhaled deeply and released a thoughtful puff of smoke.

"What if I could give that to you?" he asked, looking up at Lily. "One completely normal day?"

"What are you saying?" Lily asked suspiciously.

Sirius took a final puff from his cigarette and pushed himself up into a sitting position before looking back at Lily.

"I'm saying that I have a perfectly Charmed Muggle motorcycle that's doing nothing but gathering dust," he explained. "How do you feel about taking a little trip?"

"I don't know," Lily said slowly. "We're not really supposed to leave the house without clearing it with someone."

"Who would know?" Sirius asked. He gestured at the nearly empty house behind them. "No one will be back until at least supper. We could go out, find a nice Muggle village with no wizards in sight, hit up a few pubs, have a few laughs, and be back before anyone even knew we'd left. We wouldn't even need to use magic. A perfectly normal day, and no one would ever have to know."

The responsible part of Lily, the part that had gotten her the position of Head Girl, silently pointed out that this might not be the best course of action. But a larger part of Lily, the part that had scared the snot of Mulciber in third year Charms, insisted that she deserved to have a little fun. Besides, what could possibly go wrong? (A lot of things, as the responsible part of her pointed out. But it was by far the smaller voice and was therefore easily silenced.)

"Alright," Lily said as a grin spread across her face. "Let's do it."

"Brilliant," Sirius said, returning the grin. "I'll get the motorcycle."

It turned out that the motorcycle in question was Charmed to both go far faster than it should and also to fly. (Apparently it had also been christened the summer before in an incident with the Muggle police, but Lily wasn't entirely sure she wanted to hear the details of that story.) The vehicle was in pristine condition since Sirius cleaned it up almost every weekend. James had even taken to referring to it as Sirius' baby. The sleek black machine was shining like new when Sirius brought it out onto the front lawn of the Potter house. He climbed onto the seat, and between his shoulder-length hair and his black leather jacket, it looked to Lily as though he had been born for that motorcycle. She sat down on the pillion seat behind him and was about to ask if he had a helmet when Sirius gunned the engine. Lily had just enough time to lean forward and wrap her arms around Sirius' waist before the bike took off.

Riding a motorcycle was amazing. The feeling of flying was also amazing. But putting them both together by riding on a flying motorcycle was beyond incredible. Sirius let out a loud whoop as they soared through the air. Even Lily found herself laughing as she leaned back and let the wind toss her long hair. Suddenly the war seemed a world away. In that moment, they were completely free.

Sirius brought them literally back down to Earth after a while, and they tore down the English country roads without a care in the world. A combination of magic and skilled driving eventually brought them to a small town on the coast. It was a quaint little place that smelled of salt water, home brewed ale, and country contentment. The population was just small enough to not attract any mainstream attention but just large enough that a few strangers passing through wouldn't be noticed. And there didn't seem to be a hint of magic anywhere.

There were only three pubs in the town. Sirius and Lily ate some fish and chips at the first one and had themselves a good drink before moving on to try the brews at the other two pubs. The last of the three was playing music despite the fact that it was all but empty. Sirius took advantage of it by pulling Lily to her feet and forcing her to dance, much to the amusement of both Lily and the barkeep.

In between the three pubs, they wandered the town. It was incredibly refreshing to be able to walk down the street without worrying. Several of the shops were family-run businesses boasting crafts that could be traced back for generations. A shop with wooden carvings proved to be particularly awe-inspiring. It was the shop of homemade candy, however, that truly stole their hearts. Sirius in particular was deeply impressed by the tasty ingenuity of the Muggles. There was also a record store that they browsed, although Sirius had no idea who most of the Muggle bands were. He had to practically drag Lily out of the bookstore. Most of the volumes it held were old and yellowed, and the smell of dusty old books was like a fine perfume to Lily. The allure was completely lost on Sirius, who kept sneezing.

Lily had thought to grab a magical camera before they left the house, and they put it to good use as they explored the small town. Pictures were taken in front of nautical shops, eating their greasy fish and chips, standing on the rim of the town's lone fountain, drinking in the pubs, swinging around old lampposts, and skipping down the cobblestone streets. Sirius performed a few feats of very simple magic to entertain some young Muggle boys, and Lily snapped several pictures of their awed faces. He retaliated by taking a picture of her kissing the metal cheek of a statue of the town's founder.

Before they knew it, afternoon was giving way to evening. They spent the last of Lily's Muggle money on a fancy nautical pipe with a ship engraving for Sirius and a blue and white striped scarf and a bronze compass necklace for Lily. Then they climbed back on the motorcycle and headed back down the road in the direction they had first come. Once they were far enough away, Sirius took the motorcycle back up into the sky. The trip was much quieter than its predecessor. Sirius and Lily spent most of it in contented silence rather than laughing into the wind. Somehow that actually made it seem shorter.

The blue sky was starting to look like a spilled box of red, orange, and pink paints by the time they finally touched down in front of the Potter house. Sirius and Lily silently climbed off the motorcycle and headed inside. They stepped into the large entryway to find all three Potters standing there. Busted.

"Thanks goodness you're alright!" Mrs. Potter cried in relief. "Where have you been?"

"We went out," Lily admitted slowly. Something about the tense expressions on the faces in front of her was setting off alarm bells in her head.

"Do you have any idea how irresponsible that was?" Mr. Potter demanded. He almost never got worked up. Something was definitely wrong. "Anything could have happened to you."

"This isn't the time, Dad," James said. He was watching Lily with worry in his eyes.

"Alright," Sirius said suspiciously, drawing the door closed behind them. "Why the long faces?"

"You don't know?" Mrs. Potter gasped. Her hand flew to her mouth, and Lily noticed a crumpled handkerchief clutched tightly in it.

"Did someone die?" Lily asked worriedly.

The three Potters shared a look that made Lily's blood run cold.

"Who?" Sirius asked in a tight voice.

"Lily," James said, taking a step forward. He looked up, and somehow Lily knew what was coming before the words even left his mouth. "Your parents… They were in a car accident this morning. They died on impact. Dumbledore found out somehow and sent word to Dad…"

He trailed off, unable to make himself go on. Lily could only stare in shock. It wasn't possible.

"Dumbledore sent the Prewett boys down to investigate," Mr. Potter said after clearing his throat. "See if maybe there was magic involved. But they seem to think it was just an ordinary accident-"

He stopped talking as Lily shook her head.

"No," she said fiercely. "No, you're wrong. They can't be dead."

"Lily," Sirius said from behind her. The gentle tone in his voice was such a foreign sound that it snapped something inside of Lily.

"It's not possible," she insisted even as tears began welling in her eyes. "I just saw them last month! They were fine!"

"It was all very sudden," Mr. Potter said in a low voice. "I don't think they felt any pain."

"No, it's not right!" Lily cried. Hot tears were beginning to blur her vision now. "We're fighting a bloody wizard war, and my parents die in a car crash? It's not… They can't be. They can't!"

She trailed off as an ugly sob tore its way out of her body. Her left hand came up to cover her mouth, and her right took hold of Sirius' jacket as her knees suddenly threatened to give out. It hardly seemed real. Her parents were gone. She was an orphan.

The shock of it all was too much. Tears overflowed their eyelid barriers to spill down Lily's cheeks. Her legs collapsed, unable to bear her weight. Sirius managed to catch her, and he lowered them both carefully to the ground. James was kneeling beside them in an instant. He wrapped his arms around Lily, hugging her to his chest. Lily leaned into him as violent sobs began to wrack her frame. It took her a moment to realize that the wounded animal noises were coming from her own mouth. She felt like her entire world had just collapsed around her, and the weight of the debris was threatening to shatter what was left of her.

Sirius stayed beside them the whole time. Part of that was because Lily's right hand was still firmly latched onto his jacket. He finally managed to pry her fingers off the leather, but it was only so he could take her hand firmly in his own. Lily held on as if she would never let go. Even in her grief she seemed to know on some subconscious level that Sirius understood. His parents might not have died, but he knew what it was to suddenly have no family. The difference was that he had actually left his parents behind. Lily had loved hers dearly, and they had been cruelly ripped away. And that made it a hundred times worse. There wasn't even anything Sirius could do about it. There was no one to punch or hex or send a Howler to. He was completely helpless. All he could do was sit on the cold tile floor and hold Lily's hand as she sobbed into James' shirt.

And just like that, the illusion of their lovely, normal, perfect day shattered into a million pieces.

X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X

Christmas was always a big deal at the Potter house. The entire place was decorated for the holiday. Holly berries, red ribbons, shiny tinsel, Christmas garlands, glass snowflakes, glittery stars, red poinsettias, frosted pinecones, decorative wreaths, and twinkling lights were put up everywhere. Mrs. Potter had all manner of fancy plates, ornate tablecloths, embroidered pillows, and spice-scented candles that came out as well. She also had a rather extensive snow globe collection that spread itself out across the house. A wide variety of snowman and Santa Clause figurines were placed on various windowsills and tabletops, and most of them were enchanted to dance or skate across their respective surfaces. One particular Santa Clause figure was Charmed to fly around the house on his small broom while laughing cheerily. Enchanted mistletoe was constantly popping up around the house, much to the amusement of James and Lily. It was, for lack of a better word, magical.

There was a small Christmas tree set up in the study, as well as one in each of the five bedrooms currently in use. (Remus had moved into the house last month to try and keep his condition from affecting the life his parents had finally begun to build. He and Lily had both tried to pay rent, but the Potters would have none of it, insisting that Remus and Lily were family. Which was a good thing, since neither of the teenagers had much money to their names.) But the largest of the trees was set up in the den. It was a coniferous giant that nearly touched the high ceiling. Decorating the tree was considered to be a family affair, which naturally meant that the three houseguests were also expected to help. They covered it in shiny colored balls, strings of popcorn (far more of which went into the boys' mouths than onto the strings), candy canes, paper chains, small golden bells, and a slew of beautiful ornaments that Mrs. Potter had collected over the years. A beautiful golden star was placed on the very top. James and his mother nearly had a row over whether the lights should be white or colored, but Mr. Potter settled it by Charming the bulbs to switch between the two every hour. Presents began to appear under the tree as well, wrapped in shiny paper and addressed to various names. James and Sirius naturally made a point of shaking all of theirs, but that got them no closer to determining what their presents might be.

Stockings were hung over the fireplace for each of the six human residents as well as one for Trina the house elf. She spent most of the Christmas season in the kitchen cooking with Mrs. Potter. They whipped up all sorts of cookies and cakes, so much so that Lily worried she would burst. The best was a mountain of gingerbread creatures which the four teens decorated and the Charmed to move around their festive dishes. Eggnog replaced the nightly glass of wine as the drink of choice. The whole house smelled constantly of nutmeg and spruce and freshly baked cookies. Christmas records played throughout the day, and they were often accompanied by enchanted figurines singing along.

And then there were the Christmas activities. Snow fell in the weeks before the holiday, leaving the four teenagers with an entire back lawn on which to sled and build snowmen and make snow angels and have snowball fights. Remus and Lily even Charmed part of it into a skating rink. Sirius, as it turned out, was quite graceful on skates. Remus was not. The boys were continuously making it snow indoors as well. They actually managed to turn one side of the grand staircase into a sledding ramp before Mrs. Potter made them clean it up. Mr. Potter asked Trina to knit everyone ugly Christmas sweaters that they were then forced to wear for a family photo, which naturally included the three house guests too. The magical picture was then framed and placed on the mantle. James took to wearing a set of plastic reindeer antlers with jingle bells on the ends that rang every time he walked. Sirius had a matching pair with lights instead of bells, and they made a game of trying to get their antlers onto Lily's head. Sirius managed it the most quite simply because the lack of bells made it easier for him to sneak up on her.

Peter and his mother came to visit on Christmas Eve, as did Remus' parents, the Longbottoms, and the McKinnon family. Mrs. Potter and Trina had made a delicious feast of a lunch that left everyone completely stuffed. Once they were able to move again, they all migrated into the snow-covered backyard to play Quidditch. Well, the four mothers actually drank tea instead of playing. But Marlene's three younger brothers made it an even fourteen, so things worked out just fine. The teams were divided with the five McKinnons and the two Longbottoms against the Marauders, Lily, Mr. Potter, and Mr. Lupin. It was a solid match with the score swinging first one way and then another. But victory finally went to the Marauders when Lily beat twelve-year-old Terrence McKinnon to the Snitch. It was really due more to luck than skill because Lily reached so far to make the grab that she flipped herself off her broom and into a pile of snow, much to the amusement of everyone else. Nevertheless, James spent the rest of the afternoon lamenting the fact that Lily had never tried out for the Gryffindor team.

When the sun set, everyone headed back inside. Dinner was a wonderfully delicious affair, and it was a miracle that anyone had room for desert. Presents were exchanged among friends afterwards, although any presents between family members were held off until Christmas morning when each family would have their own celebration. But there were still plenty of gifts to go round. Once everyone had unwrapped their newest possessions, there was another round of cookies and spiced wine, although the three McKinnon boys were given non-alcoholic eggnog instead since they were still technically underage. They huffed a little for show, but they didn't really seem to mind too much.

The party dissolved into separate groups at that point. The three fathers moved up to Mr. Potters study to smoke their pipes and look back on the highlights of their years. The mothers settled in the dining room to drink more wine and exchange their own news. The McKinnon boys convinced James and Sirius to give them a tour of the house, leaving Lily, Marlene, the two remaining Marauders, and the Longbottoms in the den to exchange a combination of light-hearted stories and Order business.

At some point in the conversation, Lily made an excuse and slipped out of the den. She loved those people dearly, and the day had been a truly amazing one. But it was also the first Christmas Eve Lily would be spending without her parents. They had only been gone for three and a half months, and the loss still ached most days.

She opened the front door into a white wonderland. It was incredibly peaceful outside, the silence broken only by the barely audible patter of snowflakes that were once more falling to land gently on the ground. Lily sat down on the front steps and looked out at the white world. The sky was clear overhead, allowing the moon and stars to shine down brightly on the clean world. The night air had a frosty edge, but Lily hardly minded. Her Christmas jumper would keep her warm enough for a little while. (It was James' favorite of her jumpers, a blue and white one with a giant snowflake on the front and two reindeer on either side of it that James always insisted were actually stags.) Besides, she needed a minute to clear her head away from all the Christmas cheer inside the house.

She wasn't sure how long she sat outside before the door opened behind her.

"There you are," Remus' voice said. Lily looked over her shoulder to see him vigorously rubbing his shoulders as the chill air hit his thin frame. "Merlin's beard, Lils! It's freezing out here."

"I'll be right in," Lily said, wiping away the moisture in her eyes before it crystallized on her lashes. "I just needed a minute."

Remus closed the front door and sat down beside her on the steps. He pulled his hands into the sleeves of his jumper and tucked them under his armpits before looking over at Lily.

"You okay?" he asked quietly.

"Yeah," Lily said, looking out at the snowy world. "It's just that it's my first Christmas Eve without my parents. I miss them is all."

"I'm sorry," Remus said sympathetically.

"It's okay," Lily said, trying to shrug it off. "Everyone was just so happy in there, and suddenly all I could think was how much they would've enjoyed it."

She sniffed hard and reached up to wipe her eyes again.

"I can only imagine how hard this is for you," Remus said quietly. "I know I only met them the one time last summer, but they seemed like good people."

"They were," Lily said. A hint of a smile tugged at her mouth. "We used to do this thing on Christmas Eve where we'd go outside when it started to get dark, and we'd watch for the first star to be visible. And whoever saw it got to make a wish for the next year." She pointed up at a particular star in the sky. "This year it was that one."

There was a slight tremor in her voice as she said it.

"So what'd you wish for?" Remus asked as Lily lowered her arm.

"If I tell you, it won't come true," she said, glancing over at him.

"Right," Remus said with a smile.

Lily looked back up at the sky and exhaled heavily through her nose as her smile faded.

"I know it may kinda feel like it right now," Remus said, "but you're not alone with this."

"I know," Lily said. She hugged her arms tighter to herself in an effort to stay warm. "Sirius already gave me his speech about how I've still got family here. He's pretty much adopted me as his sister now that we're both sort of orphaned. He says we have to stick together."

"Well, he's right," Remus told her. He motioned his head in the direction of the house. "The people in there may not be your blood, Lils, but they're still your family. And I know we can never replace what you lost. But we're still here for you no matter what." The corner of his mouth tugged upward as he added, "Even if it means sitting outside freezing our toes off."

"I know," Lily said. But her eyes were damp again as she looked back at him.

"Is there anything I can do?" Remus asked.

"I think you just did it," Lily said honestly.

She scooted over a bit so she could put her head on his shoulder. Remus leaned his own head against hers, and they lapsed into comfortable silence.

"Hey, Lils?" Remus said after a few minutes had passed.

"Yeah?" Lily answered.

"I legitimately can't feel my toes," Remus said.

There was a second or two of dead silence, and then Lily suddenly burst out laughing.

"It's not funny!" Remus cried as her shoulders began to shake with mirth. "I need my toes! Toes are very important for balance and walking!"

Lily lifted her head from his shoulder and looked over at him as she tried in vain to stifle her laughter. Remus threw up his hands in surrender.

"You know what? Fine," he said in mock irritation. "Laugh it up. Shows how much you care."

The front door swung open behind them, and they looked up to see James and Sirius both crammed in the doorway.

"There you are!" Sirius said. "We searched half the house for you two!"

"You better not be out here snogging my girlfriend, Lupin," James warned.

"That's exactly what I'm doing," Remus said drily. "You caught me."

"Blimey, it's cold out there," Sirius said. He shook himself as if to get warm, and there was something so canine about the gesture that Lily nearly lost it again.

"That's what I've been trying to tell her," Remus said in exasperation.

"Well, get in here," James said, taking a step back to make room. "The McKinnon boys are playing Exploding Snap upstairs, so we more mature folk are gonna have a Gobstones tournament. Marauders versus Frank and the girls."

"That sounds like a bad rock band," Lily said with a grin.

"Or a horrible Gobstones team," Sirius taunted.

"Bring it on, Black," Lily said gamely.

Remus stood to his feet and held out his hand to pull Lily up as well. Then he headed inside after Sirius, leaving Lily and James alone in the doorway.

"You okay?" James asked in concern.

"I am now," Lily said honestly.

Something shifted above their heads, and they both looked up to see a spring of mistletoe growing out of the doorframe.

"Tradition requires that I kiss you now," James said with a perfectly straight face.

"Well, if it's tradition, then I suppose it's alright," Lily said in her best nonchalant voice.

James tilted his head down and pressed his lips to hers in a tender kiss.

"Merry Christmas, Lily," he said when they finally pulled apart.

"Merry Christmas, James," Lily replied.

"Evans, get your butt in here!" Marlene called from the den. "Black and Pettigrew are talking trash, and me and the Longbottoms could use a hand destroying them!"

Lily and James both chuckled as they stepped fully into the house.

"May the best team win," James said politely.

"Oh, it will," Lily assured him.

James just laughed and pulled the front door closed behind him.

* * *

If you liked this chapter, please spare the time to leave a short review letting me know that. Reviews are life for writers. The chapter for the next year will go up on Sunday, and it's another one of my favorites. It involves James proposing to Lily, Remus being sentimental before the wedding, Peter starting to crack under the pressure, and Sirius being brotherly when Lily learns she's pregnant. So lots of fun stuff to look forward to. Be sure to come back in three days to see it all. Thanks for reading!


	9. 1979

Author's Note: I had a lot of fun working on this chapter, especially the bit with Sirius. As always, a few notes before you read. One, I'm sorry that I don't show the Jily wedding. I almost did, but I think everyone probably has their own ideas of how that goes and I decided it leave that alone instead of conflicting with someone else's headcanon. Sorry. But there's some good stuff on the proposal and the pre-wedding preparation, so hopefully you guys will be satisfied. Secondly, I have a feeling some people may take issues with what happens with Peter in this chapter. My reasoning behind it is this: I don't think his eventual betrayal would have come out of nowhere. I think there would've been little cracks along the way that his friends dismissed because they trusted him. This is the beginning of that downward spiral into fear. You'll see more of that as the story progresses. And Lily handles it the way she does because she knows Peter and she knows that he gets scared and didn't mean anything by it. That fact that she was friends with Snape for so long even while he was going dark shows that she can definitely turn a blind eye to her friends, much like James. So that's why she reacts the way she does. As for the bit with Sirius, he and Lily are my broTP. I absolutely love them having a sibling relationship, and that really shines through in this chapter. So if that's not really your thing, hopefully you'll put up with it anyway. Enjoy!

* * *

 **1979**

It was early in February when James and Lily got engaged. Unbeknownst to them, the other three Marauders had already been betting for months about exactly how the engagement was going to happen. Remus thought James would take painstaking care to create an elaborate plan for the perfect romantic proposal. Peter's money was on James staring at Lily one evening and the phrase just slipping out and James just deciding to go with it because he really did mean it. Sirius was betting Lily would be the one to ask James. In the end, it was actually Peter who ended up being the closest. The proposal did slip out of James' mouth with absolutely no forethought whatsoever. But it did not happen on one of the many nights in his parents' den where James pretended to read the paper to hide the fact that he was actually watching Lily read a book in front of the fireplace. Instead, the words came flying out while James and Lily were fighting off a pack of Death Eaters.

They had known from the beginning that the raid was going to be a trap. The intel had been far too clean and too many sources had backed it up. It was as if the Death Eaters had wanted them to know. (As it turned out, that was exactly what they had wanted.) So the Order had gone in prepared. What should have been a patrol for just the Longbottoms had quickly grown to include James and Lily, Edgar Bones, Sirius, Marlene, the Prewett brothers, and Emmeline Vance. (Alastor Moody had tried to bully his way onto the team as well, but Dumbledore insisted that he needed a bit longer to get used to his prosthetic leg.) The ten of them Apparated to the site all together, fully prepared for a fight. And so it was that the Death Eaters, and not the Order, were the ones taken by surprise.

That wasn't to say that the Death Eaters didn't put up a good fight. They did. And they quickly called for reinforcements, so it didn't take long for the Order to be outnumbered. But they were not to be deterred. They fought bravely on, wands waving this way and that as they countered spells and fired off their own. At first they merely held their ground. Then they gradually began to push back.

Somewhere amid the chaos, James and Lily ended up back to back, as they usually did in such situations. The year and a half of dueling practice at Hogwarts was finally paying off. They knew each other playbooks by heart, which meant they very rarely needed to consult one another while they fought. They instinctively knew each other's coming reactions and responded accordingly. It was like a finely choreographed dance. They whirled and spun in perfect tandem, sending spells in all directions. They were like a magical hurricane sweeping through the Death Eaters. Despite the danger, there was something terribly exhilarating about all of it. Lily was actually laughing above the din as one of her trickier spells struck home. The knowledge that she could still find it in her to laugh even in the middle of a war was what finally caused the final piece to click into place in James' mind.

"Will you marry me?" he yelled over the sound of a fiery explosion.

"What?!" Lily cried. She was so shocked that she nearly missed the brief window to counter a curse that was flying at her head. Thankfully, her mental reflexes were sharp enough to save her life.

"I said, 'Will you marry me?'" James repeated as he stunned one Death Eater and knocked out another in the same motion.

"You're asking me this now?!" Lily shouted, risking a glance over her shoulder. They both shifted positions and flawlessly countered curses that had been coming for the other.

"No time like the present!" James called back.

"Do you actually mean it?" Lily yelled as she sent a Death Eater flying backwards and out of sight. "You're not just saying it in the moment?"

She and James quickly dealt with the two remaining Death Eaters in their vicinity. That won them a temporary respite, and they used it to turn and face each other.

"I mean it," James said honestly. "I'm in love with you, Lily. Completely, hopelessly, and eternally in love with you. And I want to spend the rest of my life with you."

He stooped down to pull up a piece of grass, which he twisted into a loop. A second later he had it transfigured into a simple silver ring. He then got down on one knee, completely oblivious to the magical duels still raging a short distance away, and looked up at Lily.

"Will you marry me, Lily Evans, and make me the happiest man alive?" James asked sincerely.

Lily opened her mouth to respond, but something caught her eye. She quickly leveled her wand and fired a spell over James' shoulder, blasting a Death Eater who had been trying to approach them. James looked over his shoulder and whistled.

"I love you," he said, looking back up at Lily with a grin.

"I know," Lily said with a grin of her own.

"So?" James asked nervously. "Will you marry me?"

"Of course I will, you idiot," Lily laughed.

James leaped to his feet with a victorious cry, and moved forward to kiss her. Lily held up her hand against his chest to stop him.

"I have one condition though," she said sternly.

"Anything," James told her.

"You better get me a proper engagement ring," Lily said. "And it better have a proper diamond."

"I'll buy you the biggest diamond I can find," James said with an excited smile. "I'll buy you all the diamonds in the world."

"I don't need that many," Lily said, her mouth quirking upward. "But a small one would be nice."

"I think I can do that," James said.

He leaned forward again, and this time Lily let their lips touch. When they finally pulled apart, it was to the sound of clapping. The members of the Order had neutralized the last remaining Death Eaters, and now they were all watching James and Lily.

"Did you two just get engaged?" Marlene gaped.

In answer, James slipped the transfigured ring onto Lily's hand and held it up. A wave of smiles and laughter washed over the other eight Order members.

"Well, it's about bloody time," Sirius said. Lily had never seen him smile as wide as he was in that moment. The rest of the Order members chuckled in agreement.

"There's going to be another wedding," Emmeline cried happily.

"Congratulations to both of you," Alice said warmly.

She moved forward and wrapped Lily in a tight hug. The others followed her lead, and suddenly Lily and James were enveloped in a cloud of hugs and handshakes and congratulations. Everyone was smiling and laughing. And then Sirius' voice suddenly rose above the cheerful hubbub.

"Oh, bloody hell," he swore.

The noise died down considerably as nine faces turned to look at him in confusion.

"I owe Peter five Galleons," he explained in an irritable tone.

The sound of the resulting laughter carried off into the night, and in that one moment, all was right with the world.

X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X

 _I'm getting married today._

No matter how long Lily stared at herself in the mirror, it just didn't seem real. The white dress she wore should have been a dead giveaway. It was a simple strapless one covered in a light beadwork pattern. The hem just barely touched her white flats, meaning it wouldn't drag on the ground. It was Alice's wedding dress, and she had insisted that Lily use it since they were about the same size. Marlene had helped Lily curl the ends of her hair so it turned to ringlets as it fell past her bare shoulders. The veil clipped to the back of Lily's head had come from Mrs. Potter. Since she had no daughters of her own to pass it too, she had been thrilled for Lily to wear it. A small line of tiny pink flowers covered the front of the metal clip, making it invisible. Lily had also put on a necklace from her mother, a heart made of red crystal hanging on a chain of tiny silver links. She looked every inch a bride. But it still felt so surreal.

Lily glanced out the window across the room while she tried to wrap her brain around it. Her bedroom at the Potter house overlooked the backyard, and from this distance, she could see some of the guests being seated in the chairs outside. Golden ribbon ran along the backs of the chairs, tying each row together and providing a place from which to hang the small white bouquets adorning the back of each chair. The reception would be held in the little-used ballroom downstairs. There had been some thought about setting up a large tent outside, but with the war going on, James and Lily had opted for a smaller and quieter wedding. Attendance would be fairly low by wizard standards. All of the Order had been invited, although a few of them would be unable to attend for security results. A small handful of old school friends had also been invited, including Mary MacDonald, along with a few Hogwarts professors. But that was the end of the guest list. James had no other family besides his parents, and Petunia had flatly declined Lily's invitation. (The arrival of that particular letter had led to Lily and Sirius laying on Lily's bed eating Muggle ice-cream and rehashing their sibling issues until the wee hours of the morning.) The wound still stung a bit, especially today. But Lily refused to let it spoil her wedding.

A tentative knock sounded from the door behind her.

"Come in," Lily called over her shoulder.

Peter and Frank had been given the job of keeping James away from her room, so she highly doubted it was him. Her instinct was proved correct when Remus stepped into the room. His hair was carefully combed to one side, and he had on a tidy black suit and a red tie with a small white rose pinned to his breast pocket. He let out a low whistle when he saw Lily standing there.

"Wow, Lils," he said as he walked up behind her. "You look amazing."

"You clean up pretty nice yourself," Lily told him.

"They're almost ready outside," Remus said, sticking his hands in the pockets of his trousers. "Sirius and Marlene are getting everyone seated. Oh, and he wants me to remind you again that he gets the father-daughter dance."

"How could I forget?" Lily said with a chuckle.

Not having her parents there on her wedding day was hard. It had already led to more than a few rounds of crying in front of Sirius and Alice. But Lily had been blown away at how her friends had rallied to fill the void. Alice and Mrs. Potter had given her the dress and veil respectively, and they and Marlene had been quick to help out in any other way Lily needed. Sirius and Remus had both asked Lily if she would let them take on the duties of the father of the bride. Remus would walk her down the aisle, and Sirius would be her partner for the father-daughter dance. (The tradition was actually a strictly Muggle one, but Lily had admitted to James that not having that moment with her father would be one of the hardest parts of the wedding for her. So naturally, James and Sirius had made it happen.)

Lily took one last look at herself in the long mirror before turning to face Remus.

"Sometimes I think Sirius is more excited about this than James and I," she said.

"He's certainly into it," Remus agreed with a smile.

"Into it?" Lily asked drily. "He practically took it over!"

Indeed, Sirius had all but planned the wedding himself. He had begun work on the ceremony the very night James proposed. He and Lily had spent innumerable hours pouring over wedding ideas with occasional input from James. When Lily and James had decided to just get married at the Potter mansion, Sirius had thrown himself into decorating. He and Mrs. Potter had stayed up many a night making sure all the details were correct. Sirius had almost tried to plan Lily's bachelorette party as well, but finally he had consented to hand it over to Marlene. Instead, he had contented himself with planning James' bachelor party. (There had been an unspoken agreement among the others not to call it a stag party, which of course meant that Sirius responded by giving the entire event a deer theme.) Between all of that and rewriting his best man speech a hundred different times, Lily had no idea how Sirius even had any energy left. But somehow he did.

"I can't believe this is actually happening," Lily said, glancing down at her dress.

"Me neither," Remus said. "My little study buddy, all grown up and getting married."

He sniffed loudly for dramatic effect, which made Lily laugh and swat at his arm.

"You just want me out of here so you can take my room," she accused.

"What can I say?" Remus said with a shrug. "You have the best view. And the window seat." He glanced down at his shiny shoes as his smile faded. "Actually, I've been thinking about getting my own place. I know the Potters don't mind, but it would just be weird living in James' house without him."

"How are you gonna pay for that?" Lily asked in concern. Remus shrugged.

"I'll figure something out," he said without looking up. "I could probably keep a job for a few months as long as I was careful. I know a guy in London who works for a company that transports magical creatures. It's kinda dangerous, but the pay's good. I might give it a try."

"Remus, you're too smart to be wasting your talents on something like that," Lily said kindly.

"Well, there's not really too many employment opportunities for werewolves," Remus said.

"James keeps telling you he's more than willing to support you," Lily reminded him.

"I know," Remus said. "But I want to at least try and support myself first." He looked up at Lily and forced a smile onto his face. "Enough of that. This is your day, Lils. You're about to get married! You should be excited."

"I am," Lily admitted with a smile. Her eyes widened a bit as a thought struck her. "I'm getting married to James Potter. Merlin, that's a sentence I never thought I'd say."

"You and the arrogant toerag," Remus said lightly. "Who would've thought?"

"Not me, that's for sure," Lily said drily.

Remus smiled, but the expression faded as he reached up to rub the back of his neck the way he always did when he got nervous.

"Listen, Lils," he said, suddenly serious. "Before we go down, there's something I want to say. I know your parents aren't here, and I can only imagine how hard that is for you. But if they were here, I know they'd be so proud of you. And your dad would probably say something to you about how much you've grown up because apparently that's what dads do at weddings. And obviously I'm not your dad. But I have known you for a few years, and we have sort of grown up together, so I figured I'd give it a try. So here goes."

Remus cleared his throat and rubbed his hands together as he gathered his thoughts. Lily could feel her eyes welling up before he even started.

"Before I went to Hogwarts," Remus began, "I had never had a real friend. And my first day there I met the boys, and eventually they became my mates. But before I really got to know them, there was this little redheaded girl who sat down at my table one day and said that we should be friends. You were my first real friend, Lily. And no matter how close I am with James and the others, you will always have a special place in my heart. Over the last few years, I've watched you grow from a brave little firecracker into an ever braver woman. There's no doubt in anyone's mind that you are a smart and talented witch, but more importantly, you are good. You are one of the kindest people I have ever met. You see the best in people even when they can't see it in themselves. You saw the person in me where most would only see the beast. You went out of your way to befriend a lonely little boy, and then you stuck by him when you learned what he was. And it wasn't just a one-time thing. That's just the kind of person you are. You stand up for your friends, and you fight for those who can't fight for themselves."

Remus trailed off and shook his head. Through her blurring vision, Lily thought she could see tears brimming in his eyes as well.

"James may be my best friend," he said on a choked voice, "but you, Lily Evans, are my hero. You are an absolutely incredible young woman. More so than I could ever say. I am so deeply honored to be your friend. And I can't wait to see where this next stage of your life takes you because wherever that is, it's going to be amazing."

He cleared his throat before reaching out and taking Lily's hands in his own.

"I wish you and James all the very best," he said sincerely. "You deserve it."

Lily couldn't take it anymore. She pulled her hands away from Remus only to step forward and throw her arms tightly around his neck. Remus hugged her back just as fiercely.

"Thank you," Lily choked as a handful of tears fell to land on Remus' suit jacket.

"No," Remus told her. "Thank you."

A knock on the door caused them both to pull apart.

"Come in!" Lily called as she wiped her watery eyes.

The door opened slightly, and Alice leaned around it.

"It's time to head down," she said with a smile. "James is already at the front, so there's no chance of him seeing you until you walk out."

"You would not believe what they had to do to keep him out of here," Marlene's voice added. She stepped around the door into the room, and her forehead wrinkled at the sight of Lily's red eyes. "Are you crying? You're about to get married, woman! Pull it together! Slughorn's already weepy enough for the both of you, and this party hasn't even started yet."

Lily laughed and wiped her eyes against just for good measure.

"He's really crying?" Remus asked in disbelief.

"Hasn't put his handkerchief away since he got here," Marlene said drily. "He keeps carrying on about how wonderful Lily is and how fast she grew up. And McGonagall's so proud I think she might explode. She's even happier than when we won the House Cup. You and James did a real number on her."

"Impeccable grades and constant detentions will do that," Alice said with a smile.

"The point is that there's a lot of people down there who care about you, and they're here to see you get married," Marlene told Lily. "So take a breath, and let's give the people what they want."

Lily did as she was told, inhaling deeply and then exhaling through her nose in the same manner.

"Ready?" Alice asked.

"Is anyone ever actually ready to get married?" Lily asked drily.

"Speaking from experience, no," Alice said with a chuckle. "But that's half the fun."

"If you're too nervous, we can always just call it off," Remus teased.

"Not on your life," Lily told him. She squared her shoulders and raised her chin as an excited smile played across her lips. Then she said to Alice, "I suppose I'm ready as I'll ever be."

"Good enough for me," Alice told her.

"Awesome," Marlene said. "See you downstairs."

She flashed Lily a grin before heading back out onto the landing. Alice followed suit, closing the door behind her. Remus held out his arm to Lily.

"Shall we?" he asked.

Lily looped her arm through his and placed her hand on his upper arm.

"Lead the way," she said.

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Lily opened her eyes to the wooden beams of a ceiling. That wasn't right. Her bedroom ceiling at home was painted white. She frowned as she tried to remember where she was. She was definitely in a bed. She could feel a mattress and soft blankets. But where was she? And how in Merlin's name had she gotten here?

"Thank goodness you're awake," a familiar voice said.

Lily turned her head to the right to find Alice sitting beside her bed. Behind her chair was a small nightstand with a candleholder on top. A window in the far wall was letting in the tiniest hint of sunlight. It must be very early morning. There was a door across the room, and a plain wooden wardrobe stood beside it. Otherwise the room was empty.

"Where am I?" Lily asked. She tried to push herself into a sitting position, but the gesture made her entire body ache. She quickly slumped back against the pillow.

"Try not to move," Alice said quickly, her hand touching Lily's shoulder in warning. "You were hurt pretty badly. We brought you back to Frank and I's place so we could be sure you were alright."

"What happened?" Lily asked. Her brow furrowed as she tried to remember. "I remember something about a raid…"

"Things went south," Alice told her grimly. "I think they were expecting us. Us being you, me, Frank, James, and Peter. We all had to split up and make our own escapes."

"I remember that bit," Lily said. Her brow furrowed as she tried to remember the rest. "Peter and I were together. We were running, and then there were Death Eaters, and…"

Pain. Every single cell in her body screaming in bone-breaking, earth-shattering, mind-rending agony. The kind of pain that made a person lose their mind. Lily's body tensed at the memory, and suddenly she couldn't breathe. Just thinking about it hurt.

"Lily?" Alice asked worriedly as Lily started to hyperventilate. She took tight hold of Lily's hand in her own. Lily jumped at the touch, but it was enough to bring her back to the present.

"It's alright," Alice soothed. Her free hand moved up to smooth Lily's hair away from her forehead. "It's over."

"What happened?" Lily asked in a small voice.

"Cruciatus Curse," Alice said quietly. "We're not really sure how long you were under it."

It was starting to come back now. Lily could remember the masks staring down at her through the haze of pain. And then there was the same cruel voice that had haunted her nightmares sixth year.

"Mulciber," Lily said. Just thinking about him made her jaw clench up. "He's the one who did it."

She could vaguely remember him taunting her. Calling her a Mudblood and telling her that her time had finally come. He had clearly meant to make it last a good while before finally killing her. The agony had just kept going until it felt as if that was all that had ever existed. And then James had been yelling for him to "Get away from my wife!" A spell had gone flying, and Mulciber had dropped from Lily's field of vision. She could vaguely remember James running to her side as Frank, Alice, and Peter fought off the remaining Death Eaters. She must've passed out after that.

"It'll be a good long while before he's capable of hurting anyone else," Alice said in a wry voice. "I'll be surprised if he even knows his own name after the number James did on him."

She gave Lily's hand a final squeeze before letting go and standing to her feet.

"I ran James and Peter out of here about an hour ago," she said. "They're probably driving Frank mad. They'll be glad to know you're awake."

She stepped across the small bedroom to the door. It opened and closed as she walked out, leaving Lily alone. Lily could feel her brow furrowing as she stared at the door. Something about Alice's words had struck her as odd. She had mentioned James and Peter both. Lily could remember running with Peter, and she could vaguely remember seeing him beside the others before she passed out. But in between there was nothing. Where had Peter been during that time?

The door reopened again, and then James was standing there grinning in the doorway.

"Thank goodness you're awake," he said in relief. "I was so worried."

He crossed the room and leaned over the bed, pressing a loving kiss to Lily's forehead. Then he sank down in the chair beside her.

"How are you feeling?" he asked as he took her hand in his.

"A little sore," Lily admitted. "But otherwise I think I'm fine."

A creaking floorboard caused both Lily and James to look up. Peter was standing in the doorway. He looked nervous as he stood there wringing his hands almost as if he was afraid to come in. His eyes met Lily's, and she had the strangest feeling he was trying to apologize for something.

And then Lily remembered. She had seen that same expression on his face just before Mulciber cursed her. The memory hit her like a bucket of ice water. Her wand had been knocked away, and while she was staring down the Death Eater, she had seen Peter over his shoulder. They had made eye contact for a second that seemed to last an eternity. But rather than coming to Lily's aid, that same apologetic look had entered Peter's eyes. And then he had Disapparated just as Mulciber yelled "Crucio!"

"There he is," James said warmly. "The man of the hour! Get over here!"

Peter hesitated before shuffling forward. He stopped at the foot of Lily's bed, his shoulders still slumped as though he were waiting for the executioner's ax to fall against his neck.

"Peter's the reason we got there when we did," James said, turning his attention to Lily. "He tried to get to you after Mulciber cursed you, but there were too many Death Eaters. So he Apparated to the rendezvous and told us you were in trouble. We figured something had happened, but we were going to give you some time to sort it out. If Peter hadn't come when he did, we might have waited too long. Mulciber probably would've killed you before we got there. Peter saved your life."

"I left her there alone," Peter said in shame.

"You went for help," James corrected. "If you had stayed and fought, you probably would've both died. You going for help saved you both. You saved my wife, and I won't forget that."

It sounded so reasonable when James said it like that. Of course that was how it had happened. Peter had left her to get help. Only it felt like he had been gone far longer than the handful of minutes it would've taken to accomplish that. Maybe the torture was just messing with Lily's perception of time. But then Peter looked over at her with those same pleading eyes, and she knew better. No, James had it wrong. Peter hadn't gone for help. Not initially, anyway. He had been trying to save his own neck.

"I'm so glad you're safe," James told Lily sincerely. "I would've never forgiven myself if something had happened to you."

Lily's reply was cut off by the appearance of Alice in the doorway.

"Alright, boys," she said kindly. "Lily's been through a lot. Let her get some rest."

James leaned forward to kiss Lily's forehead one more time.

"I'll be downstairs if you need anything," he told her.

He released her hand and got to his feet, giving her a warm smile. Then he headed for the door. Peter flashed Lily that same apologetic look and shuffled after him.

"Peter," Lily called. Peter stiffened visibly before slowly turning around. Lily looked past him at James and Alice both waiting in the doorway. "Could you two give us a minute?"

James nodded and stepped out into the hallway. Alice followed suit, closing the door behind her. Peter's eyes flitted longingly toward the closed door as he began to wring his hands.

"Come here," Lily said.

Peter hesitated before shuffling across the floor and sitting down in the very edge of the chair beside her bed. His hands were shaking.

"What really happened?" Lily asked quietly.

"I don't know what you mean," Peter squeaked. He was looking everywhere but at Lily.

"I know you came and got the others," Lily said in a low voice. "But that should've taken… What? A few minutes? You were gone a lot longer than that. So what happened?"

Peter finally looked up, and his posture reminded Lily of a weak eggshell about to crack.

"I panicked," he whispered. And then it all came out in a rush. "I was terrified. I always am. But I thought I'd be okay because I was with you. And then they disarmed you, and there were so many of them, and I just…" He shook his head in disgust, and something wet glinted in his eyes. "I'm so sorry, Lily! It's my fault. I just left you there with them."

He trailed off as his voice became too strained. He put his head in his hands, and Lily could see his shoulders trembling.

"Hey," she said gently. She reached out and wrapped her hand around Peter's wrist. "I'm okay."

"You could've died, Lily," Peter said, lifting his head. "You could've lost your mind under that curse! That would've been on me. I never would've forgiven myself!"

"But I didn't," Lily assured him. "I'm okay."

"How can you even look at me?" Peter asked. "I just left you there."

"And then you came back with help," Lily pointed out.

"Fifteen minutes later!" Peter exploded angrily. "Fifteen minutes of pacing a filthy, stinking barn trying to figure out what to do. Fifteen minutes that you were being tortured!"

"And normally I'd be very cross," Lily said. "But you came back for me in the end. Better late than never, right?"

Peter sat quietly for a moment, his forehead wrinkled as it always was when he was troubled.

"I didn't tell James any of that about trying to save you," he finally said. "He just assumed it all."

"You're his friend," Lily said with a shrug. "He likes to assume the best about his friends."

"What are you gonna tell him?" Peter asked softly.

Now it was Lily's turn to think. Peter watched her with wide, fearful eyes as she considered it.

"I don't think we need to tell him anything," Lily said after a moment. "He knows you Disapparated and that you showed up to get help. What happened in the middle doesn't matter."

"Lily, I left you," Peter said strongly.

"And then you came back," Lily repeated. She stroked his wrist with her thumb in an effort to calm him. "So you wobbled. You got it straight in the end. That's what matters."

Peter just shook his head as his gaze fell to the floor.

"I abandoned my friend to torture," he said in disgust. "I'm a bloody coward."

"You listen to me, Peter Pettigrew," Lily said firmly. "You are not a coward. Cowards keep running, and they don't look back. But you did. And you didn't just look, you actually came back. You faced what you were running from. That's not cowardly. That's brave."

"I was so scared," Peter whispered.

"So what?" Lily said with a shrug. "Everyone gets scared sometimes. Only idiots don't get scared. Getting scared in battle is perfectly normal. I get scared sometimes too."

"Really?" Peter asked in a small voice.

"Really," Lily confirmed. "Being brave doesn't mean you don't get scared. It means you don't let the fear control you. It means you face your fear and you act even though you're terrified. And that's what you did. And maybe it took you a little longer than it could've, but you still faced it in the end. You're not a coward, Peter. You're a Gryffindor."

There were tears welling in Peter's eyes by the time she finished speaking.

"Does that mean you forgive me?" he asked in a voice so quiet Lily nearly missed it.

"There's not anything to forgive," Lily told him with a smile.

Peter let out a breath that sounded like it had been held for far too long. The sharp worry lines smoothed out of his face, and his shoulders finally relaxed as if a giant weight had been lifted.

"Thank you," he whispered.

"Well, you did sort of save my life, so how about we just call it square, yeah?" Lily said. She gave his wrist a final squeeze before letting go and settling further into her pillow. "You should probably go before Alice drags you out of here by your ear."

The barest ghost of a smile touched Peter's lips. He pushed himself to his feet, but paused to look back down at Lily.

"Are you sure you're okay?" he asked.

"Well, everything sort of aches, and I may not sleep much for the next week," Lily admitted. "But yeah, I'm okay."

"I'm really glad," Peter said sincerely.

"You and me both," Lily said drily. "Now get out of here."

Peter turned on his heel and walked across the wooden floor to the door. He quietly eased it open, turned back for one final look at Lily, and then slipped out into the hall, closing the door behind him. The small bedroom was left in silence.

Lily shifted her weight a bit to get more comfortable on the mattress. It was surprisingly soft. There was still a dull ache throughout her whole body, but it was nothing she couldn't handle. Besides, the one upside to getting hurt was that everyone would let her sleep as much as she wanted for a while.

She let her eyes drift closed, determined to try and capitalize on that particular opportunity.

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It was the middle of November the first time that James got truly hurt. He'd been injured before, of course, but it had mostly been simple hexes and small bruises. Things a person tended to bounce back from pretty quickly. The worst had been when he nearly lost his arm shortly after the wedding. But even that had been fixable with a spell and some time. To be fair, most of the injuries he sustained this time were also set on their way to mending with magic. He would need a few days of bed rest for the magic to do its work, and then he would probably be back to normal. But that knowledge did little to ease Lily's worry.

The sight of the Prewett brothers carrying James into the house would be forever burned into her mind. He had been almost unrecognizable beneath all the blood. His breath had been coming in shallow wheezes, and he had been clinging to consciousness by a thread. He had looked like his whole body had been sent through a blender. It had taken Lily half the night hunched over his body with her wand while the twins paced the floor before she was finally certain that she had gotten to every bloody gash and broken bone. Some of his internal organs had needed help as well to ease the vicious bruising. But finally everything had been patched up. James had been fast asleep under a sleeping spell by that point, his breathing finally even. The Prewett brothers had moved him upstairs to his bed so he could sleep in peace. They had offered to stay until he woke up, but Lily had assured them that she could handle it from there. After they finally left, she had spent the rest of the night sitting on the bed stroking James' hair and trying to memorize every line of his face while he slept. He was going to be fine in time. In fact, he would probably be cracking jokes by morning. But just then, all Lily could think of was his bloodied face and how close she had come to losing him.

The image was still fresh in her mind the next morning as she brewed a pot of coffee. Continual late nights with the Order had gotten them all completely addicted to the stuff, thanks to Marlene. And after how little Lily had slept that night, she needed some extra energy. Not for the first time, she found herself wondering if this wasn't too dangerous. Maybe they should get out while they still could. They could run away. It was a big world, after all. There had to be someplace they could hide. Live in a little cottage tucked away in the middle of nowhere. Raise a family away from all of this insanity. Only they couldn't, not really. Lily knew that in her heart. She and James weren't the running sort. They would never be able to live with themselves if they did. They had to stay and see this through. They had to keep fighting, keep doing everything they could to stop Voldemort. No matter what it cost them. Lily knew that. But that didn't stop her from having the occasional moment of weakness.

The sound of an approaching motorcycle caused Lily to look up from the mug she had just filled. The noise stopped abruptly outside the house, only to be followed by a knock at the door a moment later. Then the door swung open and Sirius appeared. He had developed a habit of just letting himself in.

"Morning, Ginger," he said, smiling at Lily as he closed the door. Lily could feel a small smile of her own forming in spite of the night's events.

"You do know you're supposed to knock and then wait to be let in, right?" she asked drily.

"What's the fun in that?" Sirius asked with that maddening grin of his.

He unwrapped his lumpy red and gold scarf, one of Lily's few clumsy attempts at knitting, from around his neck and hung it on the hook by the door. Then he crossed the wooden floor through the large space that had been divided into a living room and dining room. Lily stepped out around the counter, setting her coffee down on it as she did so. Sirius promptly scooped her up in a tight hug. Lily rested her cheek against his cool leather jacket as the familiar combination of cologne and motorcycle fumes washed over her. Her arms came up against his back, and her fingers instinctively curled around the leather. A stuttering exhale left her lips as her eyes began to burn. As usual, Sirius sensed her tension. His arms adjusted their grip from an overly tight greeting to something more protective.

"I heard about James," he said quietly. "Are you okay?"

Lily squeezed her eyes shut briefly as she forced herself to nod.

"I'm fine," she said in a remarkably steady voice. "It just scared me is all."

Sirius gave her shoulders a comforting squeeze before allowing her to pull away.

"How's James?" he asked.

"I think he'll be okay," Lily said. She opened one of the cabinets and pulled down Sirius' favorite mug. "He was hurt pretty badly, but most of it was pretty easy to fix. It'll just take a few days for everything to finish healing. He's sleeping now."

She poured some coffee and handed the mug to Sirius, who took it with a grateful nod.

"Has he woken up yet?" he asked, blowing on the hot drink.

"He was awake for a few minutes this morning," Lily said as she closed her hands around her own warm mug. "He seemed okay. I gave him a potion to help him sleep. He'll probably wake up again in a few hours if you want to stay."

"I'll have to check my schedule," Sirius said with a grin. "You know how much I have to do."

Lily rolled her eyes. The fact was that Sirius practically lived at the Potter house. Remus and Peter both visited every now and then, but Sirius came by almost every day. And he usually stayed for several hours. Sometimes he even spent the night if only one of the Potters was needed on a mission. It had gotten to the point where Lily automatically set three places at the dinner table. Not that she minded. Sirius provided welcome entertainment. And he could be shockingly domestic when he wanted to be. Lily liked to wash the dishes by hand rather than with magic, and Sirius had fallen into the habit of drying while she washed. Sometimes he helped her cook too. He was actually a remarkably good cook, especially considering he hadn't done a lick of cooking before moving in with James' family. Besides, being in the kitchen gave him a chance to talk with Lily. He might be James' best friend, but Lily was as good as his sister. There were certainly times that the boys caused trouble and Lily wanted to crack their heads together, but there were just as many times that Sirius and Lily would drive James mad with their sassy conversations and incessant giggling. Because for every time that Sirius and James ganged up on Lily, there was always another where Sirius took Lily's side against James. He was like the perpetual third wheel in their marriage. And surprisingly enough, it actually worked.

"If you're gonna be hanging around, you can help me fold the laundry," Lily informed him. "I've washed my green jumper three times now, and I still can't get the smell out of it, thanks to you."

"I have no idea what you're talking about," Sirius said innocently. He took a drink from his mug, giving Lily his best puppy dog eyes over the top.

"I'm talking about that little stunt you and James pulled last week," Lily said drily. She was fully prepared to remind him of the particulars of said stunt, but then a familiar feeling hit her stomach. She groaned and set her mug on the counter. "Oh, Merlin. Not now!"

"Lily?" Sirius asked in concern.

Lily didn't have time to answer because she was already dashing to the bathroom. She barely made it to the toilet before her stomach heaved up the contents of her meager breakfast. Thankfully, the throwing up didn't last long. Mostly because there wasn't much in Lily's stomach to heave. She had just flushed the toilet and had sat back on the tile floor with her knees to her chest and her back against the wall when Sirius entered the bathroom. Apparently she hadn't even managed to close the door properly during her mad dash in there.

"Are you alright?" Sirius asked as he knelt beside her.

"I'm fine," Lily choked without looking at him. She didn't need this now. Not after last night. Her emotions were already running high, and if she looked at Sirius now, she was going to lose it.

"James said you'd been feeling ill," Sirius said. "I completely forgot to ask about it."

"That's why I wasn't with him on the patrol last night," Lily admitted. "He didn't want me going out like this."

"Are you okay?" Sirius asked. "I can go get a healer or some potion ingredients if you need."

"I'm not sick," Lily said wearily.

"You just threw up," Sirius pointed out. "And if it's been going on for a few days, then something has to be wrong."

"I'm not sick," Lily repeated.

"Lily, I admire you trying to be strong for James right now," Sirius told her. "But if you're ill-"

"I'm pregnant," Lily said flatly.

Never in all her life had she heard Sirius stop talking so quickly. He stared at her with wide eyes, his mouth still open in the shape of whatever phonetic sound had been about to leave it. The bathroom was so quiet a pin drop could have been heard. Lily couldn't even breathe as she awaited his response.

"Pregnant?" Sirius finally managed. Lily nodded. Sirius' mouth slowly pulled itself into a grin. Then a loud whoop escaped him. "Blimey! Pregnant!"

"Shhh!" Lily hissed. She grabbed his arm in an effort to shut him up. Sirius immediately fell silent as he remembered James sleeping upstairs.

"Right," he whispered. "Sorry. I just got a little excited. What did James say?"

Lily's hand on his arm dropped to the tile. She looked away, her gaze boring a hole in the cabinet beneath the sink. In her peripheral vision, she could see Sirius pull back a bit as realization set it.

"You haven't told him," he said quietly. It should have been a question, but it wasn't.

"I didn't know how," Lily said, her voice suddenly hoarse.

"How long have you known?" Sirius asked.

"A couple weeks," Lily whispered. Tears had begun welling in her eyes.

"A couple weeks?" Sirius echoed in surprise. "Lily, you have to tell him."

"I know that," Lily choked. "I was gonna do it last night. I had it all planned out. I was gonna tell him after he got back. But then they brought him home like that, and I just… I couldn't…"

She trailed off, unable to go on. Her crossed arms were resting atop her knees, and now Lily pressed her forehead against them to hide her face. Her shoulders began to shake as the tears she had been fighting finally broke loose. Sirius just stared at her for a second, completely taken aback by her reaction. Wasn't this kind of news supposed to make people happy?

It only took him a few seconds to pull himself together. He shrugged his arms out of his leather jacket and wrapped it around Lily's trembling shoulders. It was something he had first done when Lily cried herself to sleep on the couch the night after her parents died. Sirius had instinctively draped the jacket over her sleeping form, and she had come to breakfast the next morning wearing it like a security blanket. Ever since then, the jacket had become something of a thing between them. Whenever Lily was around it, she almost always ended up wearing it. Sometimes it was because she had somehow gotten the jacket away from Sirius and was flaunting the fact, and sometimes he just decided to put it around her shoulders in a brotherly gesture. It happened so often that Lily had begun referring to it as "our jacket." And while Sirius refused to acknowledge the fact, she certainly seemed to have joint custody.

Interestingly enough, Lily was the only person that Sirius would let wear his beloved jacket. Even James got hexed if he tried to put it on. But Lily was always something of a special case with Sirius. Their shared lack of parents and their continuing estrangement from their only siblings had bonded them in a way that they shared with no one else. In the months they had lived together at the Potter mansion, Lily had spent more than a few nights curled up on Sirius' bed in his jacket while they ate junk food and talked about their lives. It was a purely platonic occurrence, the sort of evening they should have been able to share with the siblings who now wanted nothing to do with them. So instead Lily and Sirius had shared their laughter, tears, and musings with each other. And over time, their friendship had begun to fill the void their siblings had left behind. Lily was the sister Sirius had never had, and he was the brother she had never known she wanted. They made a point of being there for one another. So when Lily began to cry, it was only natural for Sirius to drape his beloved leather jacket around her shoulders.

The familiar feeling of the jacket caused Lily to lift her head from her hands. A handful of tearstains shone brightly on her cheeks.

"I can't do this," she choked. "I can't bring a child into this."

She tugged the jacket tighter around her shoulders, and Sirius rested his hand against her back in the hope that the contact would provide some comfort.

"Of course you can," he said calmly. "People do it every day.

"We're fighting a war," Lily said, looking over at him with damp eyes. "A real wizarding war. Every day people are dying or disappearing or getting tortured. What sort of world is that for a child to grow up in? Last night James was nearly killed! We put ourselves in danger all the time! What if something happens to one of us? What if this child loses one or both of their parents to this war? What if we make our child an orphan before they're even old enough to walk?"

"First of all, the war's going to continue whether or not you have a kid," Sirius told her bluntly. "Yes, fighting this war is dangerous. But having a kid isn't a reason to stop doing that. In fact, I think it gives you something else to fight for – a better world for them. And secondly, the world's a madhouse even without a war. You and James could walk outside and get hit by a bus and die. But just because there's risk doesn't mean you shouldn't live."

Lily reached up and wiped her wet eyes with the heels of her hands.

"We're only nineteen," she said in a watery voice.

"And when the baby's born, you'll be twenty," Sirius said lightly. "A ripe and respectable age."

"It's not old enough to be parents," Lily insisted. "We won't have any idea what we're doing."

"So?" Sirius said with a shrug. "You didn't know how to fly a broom before Hogwarts, but you figured it out. You'll learn how to be a parent. And as I remember it, you and James always learned fast. Although you tended to learn a little faster, especially when it came to flying. Don't tell him I said that."

Lily chuckled a little in spite of herself. Sirius put his arm fully around her shoulders, tugging her towards him so her head rested against his shoulder.

"You two are gonna be great parents," he said confidently. "Any child of yours is going to be incredibly lucky because they're gonna be loved and cared for, and that's really all that matters."

Lily lifted her head to look up at Sirius.

"You're pretty smart sometimes," she told him.

"It's been known to happen," Sirius said with a modest shrug.

Lily slipped her arms into the sleeves of Sirius' jacket and then shifted her position so she was leaning her back against his chest. Sirius responded by slinging his arm across the front of her shoulders with his hand coming to rest on her left shoulder. Lily put her own hands on top of his arm to hold it in place. It was a familiar position, one they often ended up in on the couch in the evenings while they sassed James into a headache.

"I wonder what they'll be like?" Lily asked curiously, referring to her unborn child. Her voice was still a bit watery, but it sounded as if she was finished crying for the time being.

"Brilliant," Sirius offered. "Incredibly talented. A bit of a rapscallion, but with a heart of gold. Devilishly good looking." He let his head lean back against the bathroom well as something occurred to him. "What if they have James' hair but in your color? Can you imagine that crazy mop of ginger?"

"They'd look like that pack of nephews the Prewett boys have," Lily said with a grin.

"What do you think ol' McGonagall's gonna do when she finds out there's an Evans-Potter offspring headed her way?" Sirius asked.

"Retire probably," Lily laughed.

"Slughorn will be trying to recruit them the minute they get off the train," Sirius said lightly.

"So will their house Quidditch team," Lily added.

"Oh, it'll definitely be Gryffindor," Sirius said confidently. "James will disown them otherwise."

"No, he won't," Lily said. "They'll have him wrapped around their little finger."

"Now that I would love to see," Sirius admitted. "What about names? You know, Sirius is a very respectable name for a boy."

"Really," Lily said drily. She turned her head to look back at him. "And what if it's a girl?"

"There's always Elvendork," Sirius said without missing a beat. "It's unisex."

"I am not naming my child Elvendork Potter," Lily said with a chuckle. She resettled her head on Sirius' shoulder before saying with a perfectly straight face, "You know, Severus is quite a good name."

"You wouldn't," Sirius gasped, completely horrified. Lily looked up at him from the corner of her eye, and immediately burst out laughing. Sirius shook his head in amazement. "You are unbelievable."

"I'm sorry," Lily managed around her laughter. "I couldn't resist."

"Oh, yeah, that's really funny," Sirius said irritably. "Laugh it up, Ginger."

"I don't know what we'll name them," Lily said as her laughter died down. "We've got a while to figure it out." She looked down at Sirius' arm as she added quietly, "But first I have to tell James."

"He's gonna be over the moon," Sirius said honestly.

"You think so?" Lily asked in that same small voice.

"I know it," Sirius said firmly. "He loves kids, and he loves you. It's two of his favorite things in one. What's not to love?"

Lily nodded, and the forefinger of her right hand began tapping an idle pattern on Sirius' sleeve.

"Okay," she said quietly. "I'll tell him when he wakes up."

"Good," Sirius said with a firm nod. "Now if you don't mind, can we get off this floor? It's bloody uncomfortable."

Lily chuckled as she let go of his arm. Sirius pushed himself up off the tile, and then held out his hands to pull Lily up as well. When she was standing, she smiled up at him.

"Thanks for all that," she said sincerely.

"Any time," he said. He looked around the bathroom as his hands drifted to his pockets. "You think I could have that coffee now? And maybe a bite to eat? I'm starving."

"I'll warm the coffee back up," Lily said with a smile.

She patted Sirius on the shoulder as she stepped past him toward the kitchen.

"Not to be rude, but can I have my jacket back?" Sirius asked, turning so he was facing after her.

"Nope," Lily said strongly. She turned around with a smile on her face and crossed her arms as if daring him to try and get the jacket off of her. "You gave it to me, so that makes it my turn."

"You were in distress," Sirius protested. "And we don't have turns."

"Well, I think we should," Lily said.

"It's my jacket, Ginger," Sirius said, holding out his hand. "Give it back."

"Make me," Lily shot back.

"Oh, you're asking for it," Sirius said. He surged forward, clearly meaning to wrestle her to the ground and tickle the jacket away from him. But Lily immediately held up her pointer finger.

"Pregnant," she blurted out just as he reached her. Sirius staggered to a halt.

"I don't think I like this new development," he said with a frown.

"Yeah, you do," Lily said, smiling up at him. "You're gonna be doting all over me until this baby's born. And then you'll have a little niece or nephew to spoil."

"I suppose having a new innocent to corrupt could be fun," Sirius admitted grudgingly.

Lily stood on her toes and pressed a kiss to his cheek.

"Come on, Dog Boy," she told him, giving his cheek a pat. "I'll make you some bacon and eggs."

She headed for the kitchen, and Sirius trailed after her.

"Then can I have my jacket back?" he asked hopefully.

"Nope," Lily called over her shoulder. She made a point of happily popping the "p" sound.

"Bloody pregnant women," Sirius muttered.

Lily's ensuing laugh was so loud it was a wonder she didn't wake James.

* * *

Hopefully you guys enjoyed this chapter. If you did, please do me the courtesy of leaving a review to let me know. Even just a sentence or two would be amazing. The next chapter of this story will include the birth of baby Harry, as well as some really good conversations between Lily and each of his three Marauder uncles. Not much action, but a lot of feels. So come back on Wednesday for that. And as always, thanks for reading!


	10. 1980

Author's Note: This chapter doesn't have much action, but I think the conversations in it are really good. Baby Harry finally enters the picture here. And before anyone tells me his eyes are the wrong color, babies are generally born with blue eyes that change color as they grow older. According to J. K. Rowling's timeline, the Potters go into hiding while Lily is still pregnant. Someone on Tumblr floated the theory that Dumbledore had them move to Godric's Hollow then because he knew the area and the people and figured he could protect them best there. I like that idea, so I used it here. In Sirius' part of the chapter, I have him talking about his brother. I think Regulus died the year before, but I really wanted to write Sirius dealing with that and it fit best here. But it's still canon compliant because of how I worked it. Also, somewhere in this year is the point where I think Peter started giving information to Voldemort. That gets pretty heavily foreshadowed in his conversation with Lily. And I'm not completely sure where in all of this Remus ended up going undercover with the werewolves, so I'm putting it in the fall of this year. Everything else should be pretty self-explanatory. Enjoy the chapter!

* * *

 **1980**

Six months in, and Lily was getting tired of being pregnant. Most of her clothes were now too tight, and the majority of the maternity clothes she had found looked dreadful. So Lily had taken to Charming her own clothes instead. There had been a few disastrous results at first (her favorite skirt was no longer recognizable, much less wearable), but for the most part, it seemed to be working. Then there were the mood swings and the strange food cravings. And being cooped up in the house on top of everything else certainly wasn't helping matters. The one thing that did help was letters from Alice. She and Lily had become pretty steady pen pals of late. Seeing as they were both pregnant, their letters gave them a chance to complain about their clothes not fitting, swap tips for their aching backs, discuss their plans for their children, and generally be the one person who seemed to understand the other. It would have been far preferable to have these conversations in person, but unfortunately, that wasn't really possible at the moment.

Near the beginning of the year, a prophecy had been made about a wizard who would defeat Voldemort, and the particulars applied to both Lily and Alice's unborn children. Dumbledore seemed to have it on good authority that Voldemort had chosen James and Lily's child, but both families had been sent into hiding just in case. All manner of protective Charms and spells had been placed around a cottage in Godric's Hollow, Dumbledore's old village, and the Potters were only allowed to leave it under very specific circumstances. Namely Order meetings or to get supplies. Dumbledore had initially tried to convince them not to leave at all, but after two months in hiding, there was no sign that the Death Eaters had any clue where to find the Potters. As a result, James was becoming bolder about leaving the cottage. That wasn't to say that he was stupid about it. He always made sure to cast disguising spells on himself before he left so that no one would recognize him.

Despite the precautions James took, Dumbledore would probably have cracked their heads together if he had known why James had left the house that particular day. Lily had gotten a craving for cheese crisps, which the Potter house was completely out of. So James, dutiful husband that he was, had gone to buy more. Actually, Lily wasn't entirely sure if it was a selfless gesture of love or if he had just jumped at the chance to get away from his cranky wife. Pregnancy aside, Lily was getting incredibly tired of being cooped up in the house. Visitors were being kept to a minimum to protect the location of the Potters, so aside from some potions assignments for the Order, Lily was bored out of her mind. So, for that matter, was James. Which was probably why he had jumped at the chance to go buy her crisps.

Lily was sitting at the dining table grumpily eating pickles from a jar while she waited. She had just finished one and was sticking her fork back into the jar when someone knocked at the front door.

"Come in," Lily yelled.

The Potters rarely bothered to lock their front door. Any unwanted company that had managed to break through the plethora of spells around their cottage would have no trouble with something as simple as a locked door. All the same, Lily's wand was resting on the table, and her free hand closed around it just in case. She seriously doubted a Death Eater would bother knocking, but still.

The door swung open, and Lily's seat at the small wooden table in the kitchen gave her a clear view down the hallway as Peter stepped into the cottage

"Hey, Lily," he said.

He closed the door behind him before shrugging off his jacket, which he hung on one of the hooks by the door. Lily's hand released her wand and her shoulders relaxed.

"Hey, Peter," she said, spearing another pickle in the jar. "James went to the store, but he should be back in a minute."

She lifted the pickle and took a bite as Peter walked down the hallway to the table sitting against the kitchen wall. He pulled out a chair, which he dropped into without a word. Only once he was seated did Lily realize how tired he looked. There were dark circles under his eyes, and worry lines seemed to be permanently etched into his face.

"Long night?" Lily asked around the pickle in her mouth.

"I couldn't sleep," Peter said. His bloodshot eyes seemed to be trying to bore holes in the table. Lily chewed her pickle thoughtfully as she waited for further explanation, but Peter gave none.

"Want to talk about it?" she finally asked after swallowing her bite.

Peter looked up, and there was something unreadable in his eyes.

"Do you think we can win this war?" he asked bluntly.

The question took Lily by surprise. She paused briefly with her fork halfway to her mouth.

"Why are you asking?" she asked before taking a bite of her pickle.

"Things are getting bad," Peter told her. "Worse than they've ever been. The Death Eaters are getting bolder every day. Just a few days ago they killed a whole pack of aurors near London. Killed them all in broad daylight. It's not just the Order and the Death Eaters secretly duking it out anymore. Some places there's actually fighting in the streets. Voldemort's side is getting stronger every day."

Lily swallowed her bite of pickle and narrowed her eyes at Peter.

"What are you saying?" she asked slowly.

"I'm saying it may be time to reevaluate our position in this war," Peter admitted.

"Are you talking about quitting the Order?" Lily asked in disbelief.

"I'm talking about surviving," Peter said fiercely. There was fear in his eyes now. "If we lose this war, the Dark Lord will kill us all."

"So we should just give up?" Lily asked. She dropped her fork, half-eaten pickle still skewered on the end, back into the jar so she could focus all her attention on Peter.

"You have a husband, Lily," Peter said. He leaned forward across the table as if that would somehow convince her. "In a few months, you'll have a child. You have to think about them now."

"I am thinking about them," Lily nearly yelled. "Voldemort wants my child dead! Besides, I've seen the sort of future he wants, and I'll be damned if I just sit back and let it happen! I am not gonna let him destroy my child's future without a fight!"

"And what if you die?" Peter asked flatly. "What if your child has to grow up an orphan because of the choices you made?"

"Then at least they'll know their parents died trying to give them a better life," Lily told him.

Peter shook his head, and suddenly he looked terribly sad.

"You're all going to die," he said in a voice barely above a whisper.

"Then we die," Lily said flatly. "But we'll die standing for what's right. I'd rather die on my feet than live on my knees anyway." She leaned back in her chair and crossed her arms before adding, "And since when did 'we' become 'you'?"

"Since I realized we can't win," Peter said with chilling finality. "All we can do is try to survive."

"And what's your plan for that?" Lily asked coldly. "Run off and hide like a coward?"

"I'll do what I have to do," Peter said, meeting her stare for stare. "You can come with me, or you can stay here and die."

"Unbelievable," Lily said. She shook her head in disdain. "I was wrong about you, Peter. You're not brave at all. You're a coward."

"I'm a survivor," Peter shot back.

"You're a bloody coward!" Lily yelled. "You're just gonna run off and leave your friends here to face evil alone? Do we really mean that little to you?"

"You mean everything to me!" Peter insisted. "That's why I want you to come with me!"

"And go where?" Lily cried, throwing up her hands. "Do you really think there's anywhere you can go that he's not gonna find you? And if we start running away, who's gonna be left to stop him?"

"We can't stop him!" Peter shouted. "If we keep fighting, we will all die!"

"And if we don't, then he's guaranteed to win!" Lily yelled.

"He's already guaranteed to win!" Peter protested, slamming his fist down on the table.

"It doesn't matter!" Lily insisted. "So what if he wins? We still have to try! If we don't fight him, if we just stand back and let him take over, then we're as good as helping him! We might as well just sign up for the Death Eaters right now!"

"Well, maybe we should!" Peter shouted. "At least then we would survive!"

The words were barely out of his mouth before Lily leaned across the table and slapped him. The resounding crack echoed through the house. Peter's mouth fell open in shock, a red handprint forming on his face.

"If you ever talk like that again," Lily warned, "you will no longer be welcome in this house."

Peter gingerly reached up to touch his cheek, wincing when the contact only made it sting more. His eyes had begun to well with tears.

"I don't want to die," he whispered.

The vulnerability in his tone caused Lily's expression to soften.

"None of us do," she said quietly. "But there are worse things than dying. Things like living under the rule of a dark wizard. Watching him wipe out all the Muggles and Muggle-borns. Seeing him twist a whole generation of wizards with dark magic. There's a lot worse out there than dying, Peter."

"But we can't stop it," Peter said dejectedly. "What's the point in fighting him if we can't stop it? We'll just die for nothing."

Lily pursed her lips for a second as she thought. Peter had slipped back into saying "we" again, so maybe she had finally managed to knock some sense into him.

"Have you ever heard of the Battle of Thermopylae?" she asked. Peter shook his head, his forehead wrinkling in confusion. "It was way back around 480 B.C. The Persians were trying to invade Greece. They had about 100,000 men, and the Greeks only had 7,000. With odds like that, they probably should've walked away. But instead they fought. And they held the Persians off for a week."

"Blimey," Peter said. He sounded genuinely impressed.

"That's not even the crazy bit," Lily told him. "The Greeks were guarding the only pass keeping the Persians out. But they were betrayed. Someone told the Persians about a way around. But Leonidas, a king leading the Greeks, found out the Persians were gonna outflank them. So he kept about a thousand men and told the rest to retreat. He and the remaining men stayed to guard the retreat."

"What happened to them?" Peter asked, leaning forward slightly in interest.

"The Persians surrounded them and killed them all," Lily said.

Peter leaned back in his chair, clearly disappointed in the story's ending.

"So they died for nothing," he said flatly.

"I don't think so," Lily said with a shake of her head. "See, those men staying behind gave the rest of the army time to get away. Because of their sacrifice, the others lived to fight again. And a year later the Greeks drove the Persians out of Greece. Technically, you could say that had nothing to do with what happened at Thermopylae. But I think it had everything to do with it. Those men made a stand that day. They proved that a smaller force can stand against a far larger one if it's got something worth fighting for. Their deaths gave the rest of the Greek soldiers something to rally behind. It gave them the fire they needed to win. Sometimes I think we're like those soldiers trying to hold that pass. You're right. We could all die. But that doesn't mean we die for nothing. Personally, I'm not keen on dying. I'd rather live a nice long life and die in my sleep at some terribly old age. But if my death puts fuel on the fire that eventually burns up Voldemort, if it'll somehow help make a better world for my child, then I can find a way to make peace with that."

Peter shook his head in amazement.

"You make it sound so easy," he whispered.

"It's not," Lily admitted. Her hand drifted unconsciously to her slightly bulging stomach. "Thinking about not being there for this child, about missing even a second of their life, tears me up inside. And yeah, there's a part of me that wants to run and hide in a hole with them. But another part of me knows that the best thing I can do for this child is fight to give them a better world. Even if I have to die to give it to them."

"You're amazing," Peter said quietly. "You know that?"

"I know," Lily said with a hint of a smile. She exhaled heavily through her nose. "To answer your original question, I don't know if we're gonna win. But I don't think it matters. I think what matters is whether we tried. And if we did, then whatever happens, win or lose, we can be proud of ourselves. And if we are gonna die, then I say let's go out fighting. Let's go out so big that no one ever forgets it. And let's take as many of those bastards with us as we can."

Peter smiled a little in spite of himself. Then he sighed heavily. He pressed the heels of his hands against his eyes as he tried to collect his emotions.

"Okay," he said, lowering his hands. "My wobble is officially over."

"Good," Lily said firmly.

She lifted her fork out of the jar in front of her and took another bite. Then she motioned between Peter and the jar with the fork.

"Want one?" she asked around a mouthful of pickle.

"I'm good, thanks," Peter said drily.

Lily shrugged as she swallowed.

"Suit yourself," she said, stabbing another pickle.

The front door opened at that moment, and Lily looked down the hallway to see James standing in the doorway with two large sacks of groceries.

"Honey, I'm home," he called.

"Look what the cat drug in," Lily said with a pointed look at Peter.

"I hope you mean that metaphorically," James said as he kicked the door closed behind him.

"Hey, James," Peter said.

James walked down the hall to the kitchen table and set down both sacks on the wooden surface before bending down to give Lily a kiss.

"Did you get my crisps?" she asked.

James pulled a bag out of the sack, causing Lily to let out a small squeal of excitement. She took the bag and tore it open, quickly stuffing one of the cheesy bites into her mouth.

"I love you," she managed around her mouthful.

"I know," James said drily. He turned his attention to Peter, who was sitting in silence. "What are you doing here on this fine day?"

"Just having a chat with Lily," Peter said with a shrug.

"What about?" James asked curiously.

"Oh, you know," Lily said vaguely. "Stuff."

She and Peter exchanged a look that James couldn't read.

"Fine," James huffed. "Don't tell me."

"Okay," Lily said before sticking another crisp in her mouth. Peter leaned back in his chair, grinning at her completely unfazed expression.

"After everything I do for you," James said with a shake of his head.

"You got me pregnant," Lily said irritably. She looked pointedly down at her belly and then back up at James.

"I'm pretty sure you were involved in that too," James pointed out.

"Okay," Peter said quickly, putting both his palms on the table. "New subject please."

Lily had a crisp halfway to her mouth, but she paused suddenly and her forehead wrinkled as her gaze shifted to the pickle jar.

"I wonder what these taste like in pickle juice?" she asked curiously.

Before either of the menfolk could comment, she had dipped the cheese-flavored crisp into the jar and then stuck it in her mouth. Peter stared at her in shock as she crunched away.

"That's disgusting," he told her.

"It's actually not bad," Lily said after swallowing. She proceeded to dip another crisp in the jar.

"Are pregnant women always this weird?" Peter asked James.

"Oi, watch it, Rat Face," Lily warned as she lifted the crisp to her mouth.

"No idea," James admitted. He too was watching Lily with a look of mild disgust. "Although Alice has gotten pretty odd too, so it must be the pregnancies."

"You know I can hear you both," Lily said indignantly.

"Maybe we should just put them both someplace together until it's over," Peter suggested.

"Alright," Lily said, hitting the top of a table with such force that Peter jumped. "That's it. Both of you out."

She pointed firmly at the front door before putting another crisp in her mouth.

"Are you banishing me from my own home?" James asked in surprise.

"For the time being, yes," Lily informed him. "You can sit in the yard until you've learned not to mock the pregnant woman."

"Lily, we were just having some fun," Peter said in a desperate effort to dig himself out.

Lily grabbed up her wand and pointed it threatening at the both of them.

"Out!" she ordered.

Peter jumped to his feet and hurried down the hall with James close behind him. They opened the front door and hurried out into the warm sunshine. In the doorway, James turned back.

"You know, if you want some time alone, all you have to do is ask," he said cheekily.

He immediately had to close the door because a hex came flying straight at his head. It struck the wooden doorframe, leaving a small scorch mark. Then the house was silent. Lily leaned back in her chair and sighed in exasperation.

"Where's Alice when I need her?" she muttered.

The cottage gave no answer. Lily shrugged and dipped another cheese crisp in the pickle jar.

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"For the last time, Black, I don't need a babysitter," Lily said irritably. She slammed the front door and waddled back toward the kitchen with her arms crossed in frustration. Sirius had to fight back a smirk as he kicked off his dusty boots. She looked like a penguin that had swallowed a watermelon. But he wasn't about to tell her that.

"Believe me, I'm well aware," he said instead as he followed her into the kitchen.

"I don't know what's gotten into James," Lily muttered. She walked around the kitchen counter and picked up the knife she had been using to cut up some carrots. "He was never like this when I was out with the Order. It was always, 'Good luck. Be safe. Don't be late for dinner.' And now that I'm stuck here without a Death Eater in sight, he worries all the time. 'Are you okay, Lily? Do you need a doctor, Lily? You don't look so good, Lily.' I'm pregnant, for Merlin's sake! I'm not dying. He acts like I'm made of glass. Sometimes I just want to strangle him."

She brought the knife down on the cutting board with a solid thwack to emphasize her point.

"He just cares about you, Ginger," Sirius told her calmly. "He wants to make sure you and the baby are okay. And besides, we both know you like the company."

He pulled back a chair from the kitchen table and sat down. Then he kicked it back on two legs so he could prop his sock-covered feet up on the corner of the table. Normally Lily would fuss at him, but right now she was too worked up to notice. Instead, she angrily cut another slice of carrot.

"I just wish James would calm down," she muttered. "He's driving me mad."

"Speaking of babies," Sirius said in an effort to divert her. "I heard the Longbottoms had theirs yesterday."

"A boy," Lily said, looking up from the cutting board with a smile. "Frank sent word last night. He and Alice are over the moon. They named him Neville."

"Neville?" Sirius asked with a wince.

"It's a good name," Lily insisted as she went back to chopping.

"Maybe if you have a normal surname," Sirius said, making a sympathetic face. "His is Longbottom. The least Frank and Alice could have done is given him a normal first name. Speaking from experience, children can be tortured to no end because of their names."

Lily set the knife down so she could give Sirius an unimpressed look.

"And what's wrong with your name?" she asked drily.

"My initials spell 'sob,'" Sirius said flatly. "And don't think James hasn't given me grief about it because he has. So has Remus. And my cousins. Also, apparently I share an acronym with 'son of a bitch,' which Peter thinks is hilarious. And Marlene now refers to me as 'that S.O.B.' when she's angry."

Lily couldn't help chuckling a little at that.

"You poor baby," she teased.

"As usual, I get no sympathy," Sirius said in his best martyred voice.

Lily rolled her eyes and went back to chopping up carrots. Silence fell in the kitchen, broken only by the rhythmic chopping of Lily's knife. Sirius pulled a sickle out of his pocket and began spinning it idly on the wooden tabletop. His eyebrows furrowed in deep concentration. When he was still spinning the coin in silence a couple minutes later, Lily knew something had to be up.

"Alright," she said finally, setting down her knife. "What's wrong?"

Sirius dropped his hand onto the sickle, knocking it flat against the table.

"What do you mean?" he asked as he looked up.

"I mean you're not talking," Lily informed him. "And you've got this look on your face like you're thinking too hard. So what's wrong?" Sirius opened his mouth, but Lily quickly cut him off. "And don't you dare say nothing because I'm pregnant and I've got a knife."

A hint of a smile played across Sirius' lips. Then his gaze drifted down to the table.

"My mother contacted me last night," he said quietly.

"That's new," Lily said in surprise. "What did she want?"

"To know if I'd heard from Regulus," Sirius admitted. He twirled the sickle between his fingers as he spoke. "Turns out he's been missing for a few months. But of course Mother couldn't speak to her blood traitor son unless she absolutely had to, so she waited until she'd tried everything else first. The Death Eaters told her that Reg's dead, but no one can show her a body, so Mother doesn't believe it. I think she was hoping he'd just lost it and reached out to me instead. She wouldn't blame him for having a weak moment." A wry smile crossed his face as he added, "Reg always was her favorite."

"And you haven't heard from him?" Lily asked in concern.

"He only spoke to me a few times after I moved out," Sirius said with a shrug. "I haven't heard a word from him since we left school. I kept tabs on him through the Hogwarts house elves for a while, but once he dropped out, I lost track of him. I've heard things of course. Rumors about what he's been up to with the Death Eaters. But nothing definitive."

He was trying to sound like he didn't care, but the two of them had shared far too many conversations about their siblings for Lily to buy that. For all his seeming nonchalance, Sirius still cared deeply about his younger brother. And Lily knew it.

"Do you think he's dead?" she asked carefully.

"I don't know," Sirius said quietly. He looked down at the dull sickle in his palm as he thought it over. "I want to say no. But I also have this sick feeling in my gut that he really is gone. He wouldn't be the first Death Eater to die in this war."

"He'd be the first you cared about," Lily pointed out.

"I know he's a Death Eater," Sirius said in a strained voice. "And he's probably done all sorts of horrible things by now that he probably deserves to die for. But he's still my brother." He finally looked up at Lily with a deep vulnerability in his eyes. "I don't want him to be dead."

"Maybe he's not," Lily offered.

"Maybe," Sirius said drily. "Maybe he's off cursing Muggle-borns and killing their children. I'm not sure which is worse." He shook his head and added, "Maybe it would be better if he was dead."

"You don't mean that," Lily told him gently. Sirius sighed.

"No, I don't," he admitted. "But I didn't want him to be a brainwashed minion worshipping a dark wizard either, and look how well that turned out."

"Siblings are complicated," Lily said, picking her knife back up. "Things with you and Regulus may be a little more complicated than most, but he's still your brother, and I know you care about him. So for your sake, I hope he's not dead."

"Me too," Sirius said quietly.

He looked down at the sickle in his hand before slipping it into his pocket. At the counter, Lily placed her knife over the next carrot, but then a strange expression crossed her face.

"Not to change the subject or anything," she said in a carefully level voice, "but I think I'm having a baby."

"Really?" Sirius said drily. "I thought you'd just had a little too much of Bathilda's spice cake."

"I mean it, Sirius," Lily said. She set the knife down on the cutting board and put both her hands on the counter. "I'm. Having. A baby."

"Is that really just sinking in now?" Sirius asked, giving her a confused look.

"I mean now," Lily said urgently. "I'm having a baby right now."

Sirius' feet flew off the table and hit the floor along with his formerly raised chair legs.

"Now?" he cried. "Are you sure?"

Lily glanced down in the direction of her feet and then back up at Sirius.

"Yep," she said. "I'm pretty sure."

Never in all their acquaintance had she seen Sirius' eyes as big as they were in that moment.

"You can't have the baby now!" he protested. "James isn't here!"

"There's not really anything I can do about that," Lily said. She put her hand to her stomach as her face twisted into a wince of pain.

"I'm not prepared for this!" Sirius cried. "I don't know anything about babies! What do we do?"

"I've got a potion that's supposed to make childbirth easier," Lily said in a calm voice. "So I'm gonna stand here and drink it. You are gonna run two streets over and get the midwife."

"Are you sure I should leave you alone?" Sirius protested. "What if something happens-"

"Now, Black!" Lily roared.

Sirius flew out of his seat and dashed for the door. He had been around Godric's Hollow enough to have some vague idea of where he was going. He tore down the street like a madman. It was only after he had banged on the midwife's door and was waiting with his hands on his knees as he gasped for breath that he suddenly realized he was standing there in his socks.

Thankfully, the midwife wasn't off attending to another birth. She and her assistant picked up their bags and followed Sirius back toward the cottage at a pace that made Sirius want to throttle them both. His best friend's wife was in labor, for Merlin's sake! But finally they made it back to the cottage. Lily was already upstairs when they arrived. The midwife and her assistant helped Lily to get settled while Sirius stood helplessly. Once they were ready, the midwife made to shoo Sirius out of the room.

"Don't you dare leave me, Black," Lily called from the bed. Her voice was hard as steel, but when Sirius turned around, he saw fear in her eyes. Lily Evans Potter, a witch who laughed while dueling Death Eaters, was scared. And there was no way in hell Sirius was leaving her like that.

"I'm not," he assured her. He crossed the floor to the bed and sat down, wrapping his right arm around Lily's shoulders while his left hand took firm hold of hers. Lily squeezed back so tightly Sirius was pretty sure he would have bruises for a month. But right then it really didn't matter.

"It's highly unusual for a man to be present during the delivery," the midwife said pointedly.

"Are you the father?" her young assistant asked, clearly trying to help Sirius out.

Sirius glanced down at Lily, who was looking up at him with wide eyes.

"I'm her brother," he told them firmly. "I'm not leaving her."

The midwife glanced in clear disbelief between Sirius' black locks and Lily's orange tresses. Then she sighed in surrender.

"Alright then," she said.

Lily's hand on Sirius' hand tightened, and a small cry of pain left her lips.

"I can't do this," she choked.

"Yes, you can," Sirius said firmly. He brushed the fingers of his right hand against Lily's flushed cheek. "You're gonna be great. You've tackled Death Eaters without a problem. You can handle this."

"I think I'd rather take the Death Eaters," Lily groaned. She inhaled sharply through her teeth as another jolt of pain caused her face to twist into a grimace.

"No, you wouldn't," Sirius said with a smile. He tilted his head so his forehead rested against Lily's sweaty one. "When this is over, you're gonna have a little baby that looks just like you and James. And they're gonna be so perfect that you're gonna forget all about this. But first you have to get through it. You can do this, Lily. And I'm going to be right here with you the whole time. Okay?"

Lily forced a nod. Sirius gave her shoulders a comforting squeeze before looking down the bed at the waiting midwife.

"Alright, love," the midwife said, putting her hands on Lily's knees. "When I tell you to, I need you to push."

Lily nodded, and her grip on Sirius' hand tightened still further. Sirius readjusted his arm around her shoulders so he was holding her as best he could from that position.

"Okay, Ginger," he said in the calmest voice he could manage. "Here we go."

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If there was one thing James Potter did not do well, it was sit on the bench while his team played. And right now he felt an awful lot like he had been benched.

The Order meeting had gone well enough. There were some good suggestions on the table that would hopefully aid in the fight against the Death Eaters. But having to listen to them all go on about missions when James knew he wouldn't be allowed to participate was driving him crazy. On the bright side, he'd been able to spend some time talking to the other members afterwards, and that was a welcome distraction. He got to see so little of his friends now that he and Lily were in hiding.

It was already dark out when James Apparated in front of the cottage. He pushed open the gate and stepped into the small yard. There was some white flowers growing up among the grass, and James stooped down to pluck one from the ground. Lily had been rather moody over the last few days. Maybe seeing a flower would cheer her up. James had just finished transfiguring the flower into a rose, Lily's favorite, when a sound came from inside the cottage that made his heart stop. It was a baby crying. There was a baby. In his house.

"Lily!" James cried.

He dashed up the walk and flung open the door, dropping the rose in his haste. He was already down the hall and halfway to the stairs when Sirius came down them in a pair of dirt-covered socks. There was a wide smile on his face.

"You're a dad," Sirius laughed.

"I am?" James whispered, skidding to a halt at the foot of the stairs.

"It's a boy," Sirius told him. "You have a son."

"A son?" James gasped. He couldn't seem to get his head around it. "I have a son?"

"What are you standing around for?" Sirius asked. "Get up here and meet him!"

The words seemed to shatter whatever spell had taken hold of James. He dashed up the stairs two at a time, flying past Sirius toward his and Lily's bedroom. The door was standing wide open when he reached it. He stumbled to a halt on the threshold as his eyes took in the sight in front of him. Lily was sitting on the bed propped up on pillows. She looked tired but happy. There was a small bundle in her arms. James could just make out a dusting of dark hair over the blanket the baby was wrapped in.

Lily looked up, and James had never seen her so overjoyed. She was positively glowing.

"We have a little boy," she said softly.

James slowly walked across the room and sat down on the bed beside her. The little bundle in Lily's arms stared back at him with big baby blue eyes.

"He has your nose," James said with an airy laugh.

"And your hair," Lily told him.

James could only stare in awe at the baby boy his wife was holding. He reached out and carefully touched a tiny little fist with his finger. The sight of his son began to blur as his eyes suddenly watered.

"James Potter, are you crying?" Lily asked.

"I can't help it," James whispered. He looked up at Lily, not even bothering to try and hide his joyous tears. "He's amazing."

James leaned forward, and the two of them shared a kiss. The baby cradled between them made a cooing noise as they pulled apart. James couldn't help laughing at the sound.

"Are we still naming him Harry?" he asked, glancing up at Lily.

"Actually," Lily said carefully, "I was thinking Harry James."

Somehow James' smile seemed to get even bigger.

"Are you sure?" he asked.

"Completely," Lily said as she returned his smile.

James looked down at the baby boy and laid a very gentle hand on his blanketed stomach.

"Welcome to the world, Harry James Potter," he said softly.

"He's perfect," Lily said, looking down at their son.

"You both are," James told her. He looked up at Lily suddenly as his smile faltered. "I'm sorry I wasn't here."

"You would've been if you could've," Lily assured him. "Besides, Sirius had it covered."

She sent a pointed look over James' shoulder. He glanced toward the door to find Sirius standing in the doorway watching the little family.

"Get over here," James said happily. "Come meet your godson."

Sirius smiled as he walked over to the bed.

"Oh, we've already-" He trailed off abruptly as the words sunk in. "Wait, my what?"

"We want you to be his godfather," Lily told him.

"Me?" Sirius whispered. He looked down at the tiny baby Lily was holding as he tried to think of something to say. But no words would come. Instead, his eyes began to fill with tears.

"Alright there, Padfoot?" James asked.

"That's my godson," Sirius whispered. He sounded completely in awe. "I never thought…"

"There's no one we'd rather have," James said honestly.

For a moment Sirius just stared down at Harry, completely overwhelmed. But finally he seemed to shake himself out of it. He cleared his throat loudly in an attempt to steady his voice.

"I'm going to send a message to the others," he said awkwardly. "Let them all know he's born."

He strode quickly toward the door, and Lily was fairly sure she saw moisture glinting on his cheeks as he left the room. Once he was gone, James settled back against the pillows beside Lily and slipped his arm around her shoulders. She shifted so she was leaning against his side, and together they stared down at their newborn son.

"We're gonna win this war, Lily," James said with a certainty that Lily had never heard before. "We're gonna win it for him. For our son."

"For our family," Lily corrected.

James pressed a loving kiss to the top of her head.

"For our family," he echoed.

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Sirius might have been baby Harry's godfather, but Remus quickly proved to be the more reliable babysitter. Not that Sirius didn't take exquisite care of his godson. He would have died before letting anyone harm so much as a hair on that little boy's head. And he delighted himself completely in baby Harry's existence. He carried his godson all around the house, and he was constantly using his wand to create little illusions or transfigurations or to make Harry's toys come to life. But Sirius also had a certain habit of getting himself into trouble while trying to entertain the baby. Remus, on the other hand, never had that problem. He spent most of his time talking to Harry as if the little boy were a grown adult who could talk back. And aside from one diaper incident that really wasn't even his fault, Remus had yet to make a mess of the cottage while looking after Harry. As a result, Lily was far more likely to trust Remus unsupervised with her son.

Unfortunately, her favorite babysitter didn't really have much time for visiting. The war had been steadily increasing in intensity over the last year, which meant that the Order of the Phoenix was busier than ever. That included Remus, Sirius, and Peter. Remus was spending most of his time working on a covert assignment from Dumbledore. Sirius was volunteering for every patrol and mission he could, sometimes going on several back-to-back. Marlene had her hands full trying to make sure her usual partner didn't get himself killed. Peter had his share of spying missions as well, but he had also started disappearing for long stretches in between. James was hopeful that he had finally found a girl. Lily, on the other hand, was worried that the war was wearing him down. Either way, Peter rarely came to visit anymore, and when he did, he shrugged off all Lily's questions. In other words, the Potter cottage rarely saw guests these days. Which was why Lily was pleasantly surprised one early October morning when she opened the front door with baby Harry on her hip and found Remus standing on the porch.

"Remus!" Lily cried happily. "What are you doing here?"

She hugged Remus as best she could with her free arm.

"Just thought I'd drop by," Remus said as they pulled apart.

Lily stepped out of the doorway and waved Remus through, closing the door behind them.

"It's good to see you," she said honestly. "Would you mind holding Harry while I eat?"

She held out the baby, and Remus immediately put Harry against his shoulder. Once her son was out of her hands, Lily walked down the hall to the kitchen table where a mug of coffee and a plate of eggs rested. Remus followed her at a slower pace.

"Hey, little man," Remus said in a perfectly conversational tone. "How are you today?"

Harry didn't answer, but Remus carried on as though he had. He always did with Harry.

"Well, that's good to hear," he said. He pulled out a chair with his free hand and sat down across from Lily. She was smiling at them both fondly as she chewed a mouthful of eggs. Remus carried on talking to Harry, completely oblivious. "I'm fine too, thanks. Did you read the Prophet this morning? There was a great piece on Puddlemere United on the third page. Your dad's gonna love it."

Remus looked around the kitchen before turning his gaze to Lily.

"Where is James?" he asked curiously.

"Still asleep," Lily said after swallowing her bite. "He got up for Harry during the night, so I got him this morning."

"You look like you're sleeping more than you were," Remus told her.

"It's getting better," Lily agreed. She took a small sip of her beloved coffee. "I love that little boy, but I'll love him more when he starts sleeping through the night."

"Well, hopefully that'll be soon," Remus said. He looked down at Harry, holding up his hand to touch the baby's fist. Harry managed to uncurl his hand and take hold of Remus' finger. "Your mom and dad need their sleep, little man. You think you can help them out?"

Harry looked up at the sound of Remus' voice. His hand was still holding tightly to Remus' finger. Lily shook her head as she watched them both looking at each other.

"He says he would be happy to help," Remus said, looking back up at Lily.

"Tell him I greatly appreciate it," she said before taking another bite of eggs.

"She says thanks," Remus told Harry.

Harry let go of his finger, so Remus used his free hand to pick up a stuffed lion from the table. It had been a gift from McGonagall, a not so subtle hint as to what house she hoped James and Lily's son would end up in. Remus held the lion up in front of Harry and waved it slightly as though it were dancing. Harry was mesmerized by the movement. He reached out his hand to touch the lion's soft face.

"How'd you get so good with kids?" Lily asked.

"No idea," Remus admitted.

"Must be a gift," Lily told him. "You're gonna make a great dad someday."

"Actually, I'm not sure I will," Remus said in a strangely somber tone.

"Why not?" Lily asked with a frown.

"Because I'm not sure I'll ever have kids," Remus admitted.

"What are you talking about?" Lily asked as she scooped up some more eggs.

"I mean I don't think I'm meant to be a father," Remus said quietly.

Lily paused in the middle of chewing her eggs and stared at him. Remus was pointedly looking down at Harry instead of up at her. Finally Lily finished chewing and swallowed hard.

"Why not?" she asked.

"Well, first of all, I'd have to find someone willing to marry a werewolf," Remus said. He moved the stuffed lion closer to Harry, who was batting his fist at the animal's fringy mane.

"You'll find someone," Lily assured him.

"I don't know about that," Remus said in a soft voice. "It's one thing to be friends with a werewolf. But falling in love with one? That's a completely different kettle of fish."

Lily set her fork down on her plate so she could direct all of her attention at Remus.

"You listen to me, Remus Lupin," she said sternly. "Don't you dare go playing the martyr on me. So you're a werewolf. So what? That's not all you are. You're also an amazing person. Everything you've been through and it's just made you kind. Any girl would be lucky to have you. And anyone that can't see that isn't worth your time anyway. But someday you're gonna find a sweet, spunky girl who sees you for you. And she's gonna fall in love with you, and you're gonna be in love with her, and you're gonna have lots of kids, and you're gonna be so happy together."

The corner of Remus' mouth was tugging upward as he listened.

"That's a great picture, Lils," he told her. "But even if I do find that girl, I don't think we'll be having any kids."

"And why not?" Lily asked, crossing her arms. "Any child of yours would be a gift. They'd be smart and sweet-"

"Or they could be a monster," Remus interrupted flatly.

Harry had managed to get the top of the lion's head into his mouth, and he was happily sucking on the fabric. As Lily looked at him cradled so carefully in Remus' arms, she didn't see how anyone could call her friend a monster.

"It doesn't work that way," she pointed out. "Lycanthropy can't be passed down by birth."

"But what if it could?" Remus argued. "What if I made monsters of my own children?"

"You won't," Lily assured him. She sighed heavily. "You can't spend your whole life afraid to live. If you do, then the werewolf who bit you wins. And you can't let him win. You have to find a way to live your life, to be happy in spite of this. You deserve to be happy, Remus. So stop letting your fear hold you back. You're a werewolf. Get over it."

For a moment Remus just stared at her in surprise. Then he laughed out loud. The sound caused Harry to release the lion head he was gumming and look up at Remus. A sort of cooing noise left Harry's mouth, causing Remus to look down at him.

"I agree," Remus said. He looked up at Lily with a smile. "Harry thinks you're pretty smart."

"Because I am," Lily said with a shrug. She picked up her coffee and took a satisfied drink.

The sound of footsteps echoed down the stairs, and then James came into the kitchen.

"Morning," he said sleepily. "Hey, Moony."

"Prongs," Remus said with a nod of acknowledgement.

"What brings you by?" James asked as he walked over to the counter where the coffeepot sat.

"My weekly session with Dr. Lily," Remus joked.

"You can pay me later," Lily told him.

"You should go somewhere that you'll get your money's worth," James said.

He walked over to the table with his mug, and as soon as he was in reach, Lily smacked him on the arm. James shot her his best mock glare as he sat down. Remus shook his head and looked down at Harry, who was happily sucking away on his own fist. James reached over and tickled his son's arm, causing Harry's head to turn unsteadily in his direction.

"Hey, mate," James cooed.

Harry's chubby face formed something reminiscent of a smile, and his fist moved as if waving in his father's direction. James grinned and waved back.

"Actually," Remus said slowly, "I did come over here for a reason. This may be the last time I get to see you lot for a while."

"Why's that?" Lily asked before taking a drink of her coffee.

"Dumbledore wants me to go undercover with a werewolf colony up north," Remus admitted. "That's what I've been up to the last few months – building a cover. I finally got word late last night that they're letting me in. I'm meeting a contact tomorrow who's taking me there."

"That could be dangerous," James pointed out.

The sound of his voice caused Harry to lean out in his direction. James held out his arms and took his son from Remus, settling Harry against his shoulder.

"I think they'll accept me readily enough," Remus said. "It's not like you can fake being a werewolf. The hard part will be trying to recruit. Most of them tend to side with Voldemort."

"I thought those colonies were supposed to be horrible to live in," Lily said.

"They are," Remus admitted. "The conditions are appalling. So incidentally, I won't be needing that monthly stipend for a while."

He said it lightly, but his hands were clasped too tightly atop the table.

"Are you sure you want to do this?" Lily asked him.

"Do I want to? Not particularly," Remus said honestly. "But do I need to? Yes. I know what the people in that place are going through. Maybe I can help some of them. Show them a better way."

"You'll have to be careful," James warned. He glanced briefly down at Harry, who was batting at the buttons on James' shirt.

"I know," Remus assured him. "But I can do this, James."

"I know you can," James told him. "Have you told the others?"

"Dumbledore wants it kept secret," Remus explained. "He's just telling everyone I'm out of Order business. I wasn't really even supposed to tell you, but I figured you had a right to know."

"What about Peter and Sirius?" Lily asked as she lifted her mug for a drink.

"Peter and I don't really see much of each other anymore," Remus admitted. He was looking down at the table with his finger tracing over the patterns in the wood as he said it. "And Sirius and I aren't really on the best of terms right now."

"Why not?" James asked, his brow furrowing in concern. He held up his free hand so Harry could toy with his fingers.

"It's complicated," Remus said with a shrug. "We're both just a little tense from everything. Plus Sirius is convinced we have a traitor."

"And he thinks it's you?" Lily interrupted in disbelief.

"That's ridiculous," James insisted.

"I know," Remus said. But he sounded slightly relieved that they agreed with him. "I think he's just jumping at shadows. He's frustrated, and he needs someone to blame."

"I'll set him straight," James assured Remus.

"It's okay," Remus told him. "He needs someone to be mad at. And I'm gonna be gone for a while, so it's not like it'll hurt me."

The conversation was interrupted by a strange meowing noise. Remus looked up in surprise as a grey tabby cat appeared in the doorway. It padded toward the kitchen counter where Remus could just make out the edge of a food dish.

"Since when do you have a cat?" Remus asked in surprise.

"Since it followed James home last week," Lily said drily. "He fed it and now it won't leave."

"Oh, you like her, and you know it," James said. "Besides, Harry should have a pet, and you said no to a dog."

Harry was starting to drool on James' shirt, so he grabbed a napkin to wipe his son's face.

"First of all, you have to walk dogs," Lily pointed out. "That means leaving the house, which we are strongly discouraged from doing. And second, we already have a dog. His name is Sirius."

"How do you think he'll feel about sharing you with a cat?" Remus asked.

"Better than he would with another dog," Lily muttered.

The cat had come over the table now, and it wove between the legs of chairs and humans until it reached Remus. After a brief inspection of his trousers, the cat began rubbing her head against his leg.

"She likes you," James said, smiling at his friend.

"She hates Peter," Lily said with a chuckle. "I think it's a rat thing."

Remus bent down and ran his hand over the top of the cat's head and down her back. Immediately she began to purr.

"What's her name?" Remus asked.

James and Lily exchanged a pointed look.

"You tell him," Lily said as she lifted her mug to her mouth. "You're the one that named it."

"I named her Elvendork," James said with a perfectly straight face.

"Seriously?" Remus asked in amazement.

As if sensing that she was being discussed, the cat leapt up into Remus' lap. She promptly sat down on his legs and began licking her front paw.

"James here was having a bit of trouble determining the cat's gender," Lily said drily.

"So I figured I'd go with a unisex name," James finished.

"You named your cat Elvendork?" Remus asked as he began stroking the fur on the cat's back.

Harry made a sort of gurgling noise, and a series of spit bubbles appeared on his lips.

"See?" James said with a smile. "He thinks it's a good name."

"You see what I have to live with?" Lily asked Remus.

"Oh, you love it," Remus told her.

Harry turned his head in her direction, and Lily couldn't help smiling at his chubby face. James took gentle hold of his son's fists and moved it up and down as though Harry were waving at Lily.

"Okay, yeah," Lily admitted to Remus. "I sort of do."

* * *

Hopefully you guys enjoyed this chapter. Please feed the bard before you go. Any feedback you can give is greatly appreciated. There isn't really much I can say about the next chapter without spoiling it. It's going to be pretty emotional in places as well as having a far grimmer tone for most of it. That's not to say that there aren't some really good moments in it. But the war would've been really heating up, and the next chapter will definitely reflect that. Also, just so you guys know, the next chapter won't be the last one, nor will it include James and Lily dying. It's going to end with the day Peter becomes Secret Keeper for the Potters. Then there will be one final chapter specifically for October 31, 1981 that will cover James and Lily dying and the other three Marauders reacting to it. So there's going to be some pretty hard emotional hits as this story wraps up. But don't check out yet because there are also some really good bits left. Be sure to come back Saturday for the next to last chapter. Thanks for reading!


	11. 1981

Author's Note: This brings us to the next to last chapter of this story. It is, however, the last chapter to cover a full year. A few things before you read it. As best I can deduce from Rowling's timeline, the Fidelius Charm wasn't cast on the Potter's cottage until pretty shortly before they died. But if people were already suspecting a traitor in the Order, I think Dumbledore would've suggested it sooner. So I have that occurring several months earlier, and I also have Sirius actually serving as Secret Keeper for a time. That way it makes sense for everyone to assume it was still him and also makes it physically impossible for Peter to reveal the location of the Potters to Voldemort despite already being in the Dark Lord's service. So it doesn't totally line up with canon, but I think it works better this way. When it comes to the radio scene, I don't actually mention a song, but in my head they're listening to "Don't Stop Believin'" by Journey. Unfortunately, that song wasn't actually released in the U.K. until after James and Lily died. But it just fit the scene so well, and if I'm throwing canon out the window, I might as well send history out with it. With regards to the scene where Sirius suggests Peter as Secret Keeper, I think people are going to be pretty upset when they see how close Lily gets to not using Peter. I really wanted her to have second thoughts about it just because then when she does lay out her arguments for trusting him anyway, it makes his betrayal that much more painful. So sorry but not sorry for the emotional pain about to ensue. Hopefully you'll still enjoy this chapter.

* * *

 **1981**

Lily was thrilled to finally be getting out of the house. Ever since Harry's birth, security at the Potter cottage had become tighter than ever. Lily and James were now only allowed to leave by magical means, and then only to attend Order meetings. They had decided to take turns attending these meetings in order to avoid bringing Harry. It wasn't that they didn't trust their fellow Order members, but there was always a chance of a meeting being discovered. And with Voldemort still determined to kill Harry, Lily and James had decided it was far safer to keep their son at home. Unfortunately, that meant they both had to go twice as long between excursions. It had been nearly a month since the last full-scale meeting, and Lily was starting to think she would lose her mind. But word had finally come that there was to be a meeting that night at Caradoc Dearborn's place. Despite the fact that these meetings were generally somber affairs, Lily was beyond relieved at the chance to finally get out of the cottage for a few hours.

The meeting was a simple round table discussion of strategy. They laid out a schedule for the next few missions, discussed recent Death Eater tactics, looked at maps of the latest attacks, and talked over possible new maneuvers for the Order. It was a bit tight with almost the entire Order crammed around Caradoc's map-covered dining room table. But they had all gotten fairly used to meeting in close quarters. Besides, the amount of body heat in the room combined with the fire going in the next room kept out the biting January chill without requiring magic.

Several of the Order members left as soon as the meeting ended. Those who remained spread out through Caradoc's small home to take advantage of the rare opportunity to catch up with friends. Lily sat down on a patched sofa with Alice as they talked about their sons. There had been a time early last year when the two women had barely been able to even look at each other, let alone speak to one another. A time when Lily had been selfishly wishing it was Alice's child that Voldemort wanted and Alice had been silently grateful that it wasn't. But as time went by, the knowledge that they were both in hiding and that both their unborn children were potential targets had slowly drawn the two friends back together. And in the end, it had made Lily and Alice closer than ever.

They hadn't been talking for very long when the large fireplace across the room suddenly roared to life. A person stepped out, and the green flames died down to reveal Remus Lupin standing there. His clothes were faded and threadbare, his face held a few fading bruises, and he looked somehow dirtier than usual although there was no apparent layer of dirt on his person.

"Remus!" Lily cried, leaping to her feet. She was across the room in a flash, wrapping her arms tightly around his neck.

"Hey, Lils," Remus said wearily.

Lily pulled away and looked up into his eyes, which were ringed with dark circles.

"Four months without a word, and you say 'hey'?" Lily asked.

Sirius had been in the corner discussing something with Marlene, and now they both came over. Marlene hugged Remus just as Lily had. Sirius, however, had his arms crossed over his chest.

"Moony," he said in a carefully civil tone.

"Padfoot," Remus replied. He turned his attention back to Lily. "Is Dumbledore still here? I need to talk to him right away."

"He's in the kitchen with Alastor and Caradoc," Frank's voice said from the doorway. Apparently he had come to see what all the fuss was about. "I'll get him."

"What's going on?" Alice asked. She pulled her jumper tighter around herself as she came to stand behind Lily. "Has something happened?"

Remus scanned the four faces in front of him as if trying to decide something.

"I got some credible intel that Dumbledore needs to hear," he finally said in a low tone. "There's a traitor in the Order."

"What?" Lily gasped.

"That's not possible," Marlene said firmly. "We're all committed to this cause."

"None of us would betray the others," Alice insisted.

"Maybe not willingly," Remus said quietly. "I don't want to believe it either. But I got it from someone with Death Eater ties. And they're not the type to make this stuff up."

"Or maybe you're just covering your own arse," Sirius said coldly.

"Sirius!" Marlene said, smacking his upper arm.

"What?" Sirius asked. "He's been gone four months. He could've been anywhere."

"It's not him, you prat, so get your foot out of your mouth before you swallow it," Lily ordered.

"It would make sense," Alice said quietly. When Lily turned to her in surprise, she quickly added, "That there's a traitor, not that it's Remus. We've had several raids go wrong in the last few months. Far more than usual. There's been too many accidents to ignore. It's like they know we're coming."

"You really think someone turned?" Marlene asked in shock.

"And I've got a fair idea who it is," Sirius said, glaring daggers at Remus.

"Oh, will you give it a rest, Sirius?" Lily asked as she chewed her thumbnail. "It's not him."

"Lots of werewolves have already sided with Voldemort," Sirius pointed out coldly. "He's the only one here whose life might actually improve if the Death Eaters won."

"What's your problem?" Remus snapped.

"My problem is that you come back after four months of no contact suddenly crying 'traitor'," Sirius said in a steely tone. "Sounds to me like you're trying to shift the blame off yourself."

"Boys," Marlene said, clearly trying to stop anything before it started.

"Maybe it's you," Remus fired back at Sirius. "Maybe you decided to go back to the most Ancient and Noble House of Black. Couldn't survive without the silver spoon in your mouth."

"Alright, that's enough," Lily told them both. But Remus and Sirius were far too focused on each other to hear her.

"I think you just finally came to grips with what you are," Sirius taunted. "If you can't beat the monsters, might as well join them."

Before anyone could react, Remus lunged forward at Sirius. Suddenly they were both on the floor, tearing at each other's clothing as they grappled for dominance. It only took a few seconds for Sirius, who had recently taken up the Muggle sport of boxing, to get the upper hand on Remus, whose time up north had turned him into an even skinner string bean than usual. Sirius had already slammed his fist into Remus' face before the girls finally came out of their shock enough to intervene.

"Get off him!" Lily yelled.

She dropped to her knees to try and hold the boys apart. Marlene caught Sirius' raised arm from behind, preventing him from landing another blow. Then Frank and Caradoc were suddenly in the room. The two of them forcibly hauled Sirius, still swinging madly, off of Remus, who needed both Lily and Alice pinning his shoulders down to keep him from flying to his feet after his attacker. Both young men were still yelling madly at one another. Moody stepped in between them and slammed his walking stick down on the floor with such deafening force that the entire room immediately fell silent.

"Can it, the both of you!" he yelled. He turned his head first one way and then the other, fixing each young man in question with a glare fierce enough to make a Death Eater rethink his life choices. "You're behaving like a pair of crazed school girls! McKinnon, take Black in the other room and make sure he doesn't come out until he has regained his faculties. I don't care if you have to dump ice water on his head to make it happen! Potter, you keep an eye on Lupin while he does the same. And if either of you idiots tries something like this again, I'll knock your heads together so hard you won't remember your own names, much less what you were carrying on about!"

With that, Moody pulled his flask from his jacket pocket and limped off toward the kitchen, mumbling something about idiot children. Sirius immediately yanked his arms away from Frank and Caradoc. He made a show of angrily straightening his jacket before he turned to face the door. Marlene tried to touch his arm, but he shrugged her off as he stormed out. Marlene shook her head and followed after him. Satisfied that the crisis was averted, Caradoc and Frank both looked back at Remus to be sure he was alright before heading after Moody. Their path took them right past Dumbledore, who was standing in the doorway silently watching everything unfold.

Remus had pushed himself into a seating position with his back against an old armchair. His nose was bleeding a little, and a nasty purple bruise was already forming on his cheekbone. Lily tried to have a look, but Remus jerked his face away.

"I'm fine," he muttered. He used the fingers of his right hand to wipe the blood from his nose while pushing himself to his feet with his left. Alice and Lily both stood at well.

"I don't know what's gotten into Sirius," Alice said apologetically.

"It's the war," Lily said in a quiet voice. "It's driving us all mad."

Dumbledore chose that moment to cross the frayed carpet toward the three of them.

"I heard you wished to see me," he said to Remus.

Remus touched his nose again to be sure the bleeding had stopped before fixing all his attention on Dumbledore.

"I have it on good authority that there's a traitor in the Order," he said. "I know it sounds crazy, but I believe my source. Someone is betraying us to Voldemort."

"That is grave news," Dumbledore said with a frown. "Do you know this traitor's name?"

"No," Remus said, shaking his head. "It sounds like they're being kept a secret. Only Voldemort's inner circle know their identity."

"These are dark times indeed if we cannot even trust out friends," Dumbledore said sadly. "However, I believe you could have sent this information through a Patronus messenger. Your absence could endanger your cover."

"I know," Remus said. He sounded more depressed than Lily had heard him in a long time. His shoulders seemed to slump as if something inside him had deflated. "It was a mistake to come. I guess I just thought my friends might be glad to see me."

"We are glad to see you," Alice assured him. "But breaking your cover puts you at risk."

"Don't worry," Remus said in a strained voice. "I won't be doing it again."

"Remus," Lily said sadly.

"I should be going," Remus said, ignoring her. "I have a mission to get back to."

He stepped around Dumbledore and headed for the fireplace. A small metal box of floo powder rested atop the mantle. Remus opened it and took out a handful. But before he could throw it in the fireplace, Lily suddenly surged forward.

"Remus, wait!" she called.

Remus turned just in time for Lily to crash into him. She wrapped her arms tightly around his neck, almost as if she were afraid of letting go. He felt far too bony under his worn clothing, and that only made her hold on tighter. Remus stood frozen for a second before putting his own arms around Lily, careful to keep his right hand closed around the floo power it held.

"Take care of yourself out there, yeah?" Lily choked around the sudden lump in her throat. She suddenly had a horrible feeling that she wasn't ever going to see him again.

"I will," Remus told her. He pressed his face into her hair and breathed deeply, almost as if he were trying to memorize her smell. Maybe he could feel the same dread deep in his gut.

"You come back to me, Remus Lupin," Lily said fiercely. She could feel tears pricking the corners of her eyes as she held on. "You hear me? You come back."

Remus smiled a little in spite of himself.

"I'll do my best," he promised. "You and James and Harry be safe too."

He tightened his arms around her briefly before forcing himself to let go. Lily swallowed hard as Remus stepped over to the fireplace. Her vision was starting to swim, causing Remus to shift and blur. He tossed the powder into the fireplace and stepped into the green flames, calling out the name of a destination that Lily didn't recognize. And then he was gone just as suddenly as he had come. Lily reached up to rub her eyes with the heels of her hands before turning back to Alice and Dumbledore.

"It would appear that we have a security problem," Dumbledore said quietly.

"But who?" Alice asked. "I can't think of a single person who would betray us."

"It is perhaps the most essential trademark of a traitor that they are very rarely the sort of person you would suspect," Dumbledore told her. "It is this very quality that makes their betrayal so devastating."

"How do we find them?" Lily asked.

"I'm not sure," Dumbledore admitted. "I will have to give it some thought. In the meantime, I think it might be best, Lily, if we were to place your home under the Fidelius Charm. That would make it impossible for the traitor to betray your location to Voldemort. I would be happy to serve as your Secret Keeper if you so desired."

"I'll talk to James," Lily said. She crossed her arms in a thoughtful manner. "As much as I appreciate the offer, he'll probably want it to be one of the boys. Probably Sirius."

"Are you sure you want to give him that kind of responsibility after what just happened?" Alice asked skeptically. James probably would have been offended at her questioning his friend, but Lily knew Alice well enough to know that she just wanted to be sure a smart decision was being made.

"He's a bit tense right now," Lily agreed. "And he can be a hothead even on the best of days. But I trust him. We both do. He would die before letting anything happen to our family."

"Then I suggest you cast the Fidelius Charm as soon as possible," Dumbledore told her. "If Voldemort does indeed have a traitor in our midst, then we are all in far greater danger than I believed. Your family in particular is at great risk now that Voldemort is after your son."

"He won't get near my Harry," Lily said fiercely. There was a fire in her eyes daring the world to try and contradict her. "I won't let him."

X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X

Life at the Potter cottage was remarkably quiet lately. Their isolation meant they had to wait for people to come to them. But the Death Eaters had stepped up their game lately, forcing the Order to do the same. Knowing that their friends were out there and the Potters could do nothing about it was beyond maddening. Lily tried to keep herself busy making potions for the Order, which Sirius then passed on. He had thrown himself headlong into the fight and so came by only rarely now. Peter too visited only occasionally. Their neighbor Bathilda came by nearly every day to chat and bring them supplies. She was a sweet old woman who doted on Harry. But even that was only distracting for so long. The Potters did their best to enjoy their time cooped up together with Harry and the cat, and if they were completely honest, they did make more than a few happy memories during that time. In fact, some of the happiest moments of their marriage occurred within those walls. It was the first time since entering this war that they knew without a doubt they were completely safe. The Fidelius Charm made sure of it. But then The Daily Prophet would arrive in the mornings and with it the memory of war.

If the members of the Order had cared to place bets on which of the Potters would crack first under the force of their isolation, most of the money would have been on James. And in a way, they would have been right. He was certainly the most stir-crazy on a regular basis. He was almost constantly pacing or fidgeting. Dumbledore had "borrowed" his cloak and had yet to return it, leaving James completely trapped in the house. The confinement was slowly driving him up the wall. But when it came to a full-scale breakdown, it was actually Lily who cracked first.

The strength of the Death Eater attacks seemed to skyrocket that year, and for the first time, the Order began to take vicious losses. Benjy Fenwick went first, blasted to pieces by a curse. The Prewett brothers died soon after in an ambush by five Death Eaters. The twins fought bravely, but in the end their courage was not enough to save them. Then Marlene was killed in the beginning of July. But the Death Eaters weren't content to just end her life. They went to her parents' house and wiped out her entire family, right down to thirteen-year-old Edward, the youngest of Marlene's brothers. Lily cried the whole night when she found out. Then Dorcas Meadowes was murdered. Voldemort actually killed her personally. By that point, the grieving almost felt normal. Terrible, but normal.

It was about a week after Dorcas died that Lily finally fell apart. James had gone upstairs to put Harry to bed, and when he came back down, he found his wife staring at a copy of The Daily Prophet laid out on the table. Her arms were crossed protectively over her stomach. When she looked up at James, there were tears shining in her eyes.

"We can't win this," she said softly.

"What are you talking about?" James asked. He crossed the floor and put his hands comfortingly on her upper arms. "Of course we can."

Lily shook her head, and the motion nearly shook her tears loose.

"He's too strong," she choked. "They're killing more people every day. How much longer do you think the Order can hold out?"

"As long as it takes," James told her. "He's not going to win, Lily."

"Yes, he is!" Lily cried. "Don't you get it? He's wiping us out, James! Benjy, the Prewetts, the McKinnons, and now Dorcas? Voldemort's cleaning house! He's sweeping us all up before he takes over! And there is nothing we can do!"

James unconsciously bent his shoulders a bit so his eyes were more level with Lily's.

"That is not true," he said in the calmest voice he could. "We can fight."

Lily pulled away from James. She was far too worked up to let herself be comforted.

"We're all gonna die," she said. The words came out as something dangerously close to a sob. "He's gonna kill us, just like Dorcas. And then he's gonna kill Harry. He's gonna kill our little boy, James! He's gonna kill him, and there is nothing we can do!"

She kicked the table chair as hard as she could, resulting in a loud noise. It was a miracle Harry didn't wake up. That one motion seemed to drain all the energy Lily had. Tears flooded down her cheeks as Lily dissolved into sobs. Her hand came up to her mouth in an effort to stop them, but it was no use. James pulled her gently into his arms, cradling her head against his chest with one hand while his other arm wrapped tightly around her body. Lily buried his face in his shirt. Her hands turned to tight fists around the material that was quickly becoming damp with her tears.

"He won't get to Harry," James whispered into Lily's hair. "I won't let him. I won't let him get either of you."

Lily was sobbing too hard to understand his words, but the sound of his voice seemed to calm her somewhat. James readjusted his arm around her before continuing.

"We're safe here," he told her. "Voldemort can't find us. The only person who could give us away is Sirius, and he would die before letting that happen. We're safe, Lily. We're safe."

And technically they were. From a magical standpoint, there was absolutely no way Voldemort could ever find them. But he was still out there, and it was still terrifying. That, coupled with the brutal losses they had suffered over the last few months, gave Lily's sobs fuel for several long minutes. James held her in silence, letting the feeling of her in his arms comfort him just as much as it did her.

Finally the river of Lily's tears dried up. Her ragged sobs gradually died down to stuttery inhales and shaky exhales. She left her head resting wearily against his chest, too worn out from crying to even consider moving. Her hands on his shirt were no longer in a death grip, but she wasn't showing any signs of letting go anytime soon.

James kept his own cheek pressed firmly against the top of Lily's head where he could breathe in the soothing scent of her familiar shampoo. He began to slowly sway back and forth, hoping that the motion would help calm her. Lily turned her head so only her cheek was pressed against his shirt. The position reminded James of a slow dance. It occurred to him that it had been a while since he and Lily had danced recklessly around the cottage, laughing and spinning wildly while Harry clapped excitedly from the rug. Inspired, James carefully shifted first one foot and then the other. After a brief hesitation, Lily slowly mimicked his movements. James did it again, and they began to slowly dance. He could feel Lily slowly relaxing as they stepped slowly back and forth. She pulled away ever so slightly in order to put one hand up on his shoulders. James responded by putting his own hands on her waist. They continued to sway back and forth to an inaudible rhythm. Eventually they adjusted positions again so Lily's right hand was held in James' left. Lily's cheeks were fairly dry now, and her red eyes were beginning to brighten. James decided to throw in a twirl just for good measure. Lily spun away from him, and as she came back, the corners of her mouth were twitching.

They gradually began to pick up speed as they went. The change of pace meant that Lily's clumsiness began to show. She stepped on the very edge of James' shoe, and a small release of air reminiscent of a silent laugh escaped her. James responded by dipping her. As he pulled her back up, he was pleased to see a ghost of smile forming on Lily's face.

James' wand was in his back pocket, and he released Lily's waist long enough to pull it out. It only took a simple motion to turn on the radio in the corner of the room. The set was automatically tuned to one of the Muggle stations Lily loved so much. They were just in time for the beginning of a popular new upbeat song by a Muggle rock band. James slipped his wand back into his pocket, and together he and Lily resumed their dancing. The first verse of the song had a slightly faster beat than they had been dancing to, so that required some adjusting of pace. By the chorus, the tempo had definitely picked up. Lily's ability to keep up with it was fast fading. She was beginning to stumble more and more, forcing James to stay alert if he wanted to protect his toes. The sheer ridiculousness of it all made Lily laugh, and then James was laughing with her.

Their antics became more and more ridiculous as the song progressed. They twirled madly, sliding across the wooden floors in their sock-covered feet. An electric guitar solo caused James to break away from Lily so he could bang his head and play some fierce air guitar. Lily only laughed harder at the sight of him. She swung her head carelessly from side to side, snapping and clapping as she moved her feet back and forth in a horrible attempt at keeping with the tempo. James pulled his wand from his pocket and began lip-synching as though it were a mic. Lily responded by belting out the words. She barely knew them, so she stumbled over them repeatedly. But that did nothing to dampen her enthusiasm. James quickly joined in. They were both laughing and jumping and swinging their hair as they danced and sang like drunk lunatics. When the chorus struck again, James jumped up on the couch as though it were a stage. Lily followed suit, and they both faced each other as they loudly sang out the words. They were both off-key, but it hardly mattered. James jumped up and down on the faded cushions, nodding his head so that his wild hair flew all around. Lily was laughing so hard she had to grab the back of the couch to keep from falling over.

Finally the song neared its end. Lily and James both shouted out the last few lines before collapsing on the couch in a tangle of limbs. James' hair was all in his face, and Lily's eyes were welling up for a completely different reason than they had earlier. They hardly even heard the radio host begin introducing the next song. The sound of laughter faded, leaving James and Lily slumped low on the couch in quiet contentment. James pulled out his wand and turned down the volume on the radio.

"You think we woke Harry?" he asked quietly.

They both listened for a second, but no noise came from upstairs.

"I doubt it," Lily said. She smiled a little as she turned her head to look over at her husband. "He sleeps harder than you do."

Instead of answering, James leaned his head against the back of the couch. The crackling of the low fire in front of them reminded him of being back in the Gryffindor common room. Lily shifted her weight and leaned over to nestle into his side with her head against his shoulder. James responded by slipping his arm around her as his cheek came to rest atop her head.

"We're gonna be okay, Lily," he said quietly.

It seemed like a strange thing to say considering that there was currently a dark wizard with an army of fanatical followers wrecking havoc across the country. But somehow in that moment it actually sounded believable.

X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X

Summer was fast fading into fall and the leaves were already showing signs of changing when The Daily Prophet reported that Edgar Bones had been killed, along with his wife and children. Lily could hardly stand to put Harry down for the rest of the day, much to the active toddler's irritation. Two days later, Sirius showed up at the Potter cottage with a tight jaw and hard set to his shoulders. It was James who opened the front door. He hugged his old friend warmly, thrilled to have some company besides Bathilda. (Though a kind woman, she was slowly losing her edge. And possibly parts of her mind.) When they pulled apart, however, the grim expression on Sirius' face caused James' excitement to fade. This was not going to be a pleasant visit.

Lily and Harry were playing on the living room rug when Sirius entered the room. Harry immediately recognized his favorite uncle. He pushed himself to his feet and quickly toddled over with his arms outstretched and a smile on his face.

"Pafoo!" he cried happily.

Sirius bent down and scooped up his godson. Some of the worry eased out of his face as he smiled at the little bit.

"Hey, mate," he said warmly. "You gotten into any trouble lately?"

He tickled Harry's stomach, drawing a giggle from the toddler.

"Only always," Lily said in answer to Sirius' question. But there was a smile on her face as she got up from the floor and walked over to Sirius. She gave him a side hug to avoid squashing Harry, who was happily holding on to the unzipped edge of his godfather's leather jacket. "What brings you by?"

"As much as I would love to say this is a social call," Sirius told her, "I've actually got some business we need to talk about."

"That doesn't sound good," Lily said, her brow furrowing in concern.

"It's not," Sirius admitted.

The cat chose that moment to come padding down the stairs, and Harry's eyes lit up at the sight of the cat. He turned away from Sirius, both of his arms reaching for the feline.

"Evan!" he cried.

While the cat's original name of Elvendork might have been humorous to the Marauders, it was far too hard for a toddler to pronounce. Harry's bumbling attempts had eventually rechristened her Evan instead. James had then upgraded it to Evans, which he thought was terribly clever. And it seemed to fit since the cat liked Lily best anyway. Probably because she didn't torment the poor thing.

Sirius set Harry down on the floor, and the little boy happily toddled off to play with the cat.

"It's a wonder that cat hasn't killed him yet," Sirius said as he stood back up.

"She likes him," Lily said with a shrug. "Tail pulling and all."

"So what is it you need to talk about?" James asked, crossing his arms over his chest.

"Maybe we should sit down," Sirius suggested.

He sank down into his favorite armchair, and James sat down near of the nearby couch. Lily glanced over her shoulder at Harry sitting on the rug happily patting the cat's head before sitting in the open space between James and the end of the couch.

"What's going on?" she asked worriedly.

"I assume you heard about Edgar's family," Sirius said quietly.

"We did," James said. He put his left hand face-up on his knee, and Lily took it in her right.

"It's horrible," she said in a strained voice.

"It feels almost like we're being hunted," Sirius admitted. He joined his hands and put his forearms on his knees so he could lean forward. "I think the traitor's selling us out one by one."

"And Dumbledore still doesn't know who they are?" James asked. Sirius shook his head.

"We've tried everything," he said. "We scramble missions as best we can. Spread the details out among the team so no one ever has the full picture. Safe houses and meeting points are assigned last minute by flipping a coin or drawing straws. It seems to be working somewhat, but the names are still getting out. We even tried Veritaserum, but nothing turned up. Whoever it is must have had the antidote on them. But that's not why I'm here. I think the killings are calculated. Benjy was chance, I think. Wrong place at the wrong time. But the others were targeted."

"How does that help?" Lily asked in confusion.

Evans made a strange noise, causing Lily to glance briefly over her shoulder. But the cat had merely jumped up on the far arm of the couch. Harry was still on the floor, happily playing with his Puddlemere United figures that were Charmed to hover a few inches off the ground. Satisfied that the cat hadn't finally run out of patience, Lily turned her attention back to Sirius.

"It helps because I think there's a certain order to it," Sirius explained. "Aside from Benjy, the members we've lost are the ones that bloodied Voldemort's nose the most. He's going after the biggest irritants first. Like a sort of hit list."

Sirius kept his voice deceptively level, but his hands had clenched so tightly his knuckles turned white. Lily knew he was thinking of Marlene. Sirius and Marlene had been working as partners practically since joining the Order, and her loss had hit him hard.

"Who do you think is next?" James asked worriedly.

"It's just a theory, mind you," Sirius admitted. "Moody's proved himself all but invincible, so he's probably safe for now. Voldemort won't touch Dumledore until he has to, and McGonagall and Hagrid are safe at Hogwarts with him. The Longbottoms are still in hiding, and they're less involved now that Neville's born, so they're probably on the backburner. Mundugus hardly counts, Voldemort can't even find you lot, and most of the rest have been lying pretty low the last few months. Everyone but Caradoc, Emmeline, and me. We're the ones that have been making the most trouble lately."

"What are you going to do?" Lily asked worriedly.

"I passed my theory up to Dumbledore," Sirius said with a shrug. "He wants the three of us to increase our personal protection. But I'm not going into hiding, if that's what you're asking. If the Death Eaters want me, I'd more than happy to take them all to hell with me."

"You sound like you think you're going to die," James said, frowning. He unconsciously tightened his hand around Lily's.

"Well, I'm not exactly planning on it," Sirius told him. "But it's always possible. Look, my point is that I could go any minute. So I think you should change your Secret Keeper just in case."

"If this is you preparing to go on some sort of suicide run-" Lily began fiercely.

"I'm not," Sirius interrupted. "But if something happens to me, then you've got too many new Secret Keepers. Too many people who could slip up and tell Voldemort if he got the right leverage. I don't think any of them would, but it's safer not to risk it."

"You're not gonna die," Lily said flatly.

"We're fighting a war, Ginger," Sirius pointed out. "I could die any minute."

"If you do, I'll bring you back so I can kill you myself," Lily informed him.

"This isn't about me," Sirius said in frustration. He pulled apart his joined hands so he could smack his right palm down on his knee. "It's about keeping you safe! I can't afford to put you in danger. And this way I won't. This way it won't matter if I die."

The words had barely left his mouth before a loud crack echoed through the room. Lily's left hand had flown out and slapped him hard. Sirius shifted his jaw to be sure it still worked as he gingerly touched his red cheek.

"Don't you ever say that," Lily told him fiercely. "Don't you ever say it wouldn't matter if you died because it would. It would matter a lot. So don't you ever dare say that."

Her eyes were shining as she said the words. Clearly the thought of his death affected her far more than Sirius had realized.

"I'm sorry," he said softly. "I didn't mean it like that."

James glanced to his right at Harry, who was watching the grown-ups with wide eyes. But finally he picked up his stuffed lion and went back to using it to attack the hovering Quidditch payers. James cleared his throat as he looked back at Sirius.

"If it shouldn't be you, then who?" James asked.

"Peter," Sirius said immediately. The speed with which he answered betrayed just how much thought he had given to this proposal. "He's involved with the Order, but he hasn't caused much damage himself. I doubt the Death Eaters are targeting him. Besides, Voldemort would expect you to use someone strong for your Secret Keeper. You know I'm fond of Peter, but he's not exactly the brightest or the most talented. He's the last person they would suspect."

James was nodding along in agreement. Lily, however, felt as if a chill had settled over her bones. She liked Peter. She did. And under normal circumstances, she trusted him. But this was Harry's life they were talking about. Lily down the sofa at where Harry was playing on the rug. Evans had climbed down to join him, and Harry was trying to ping his hovering Quidditch players off the cat's body. Lily could feel a lump rising in her throat as she watched him. She knew Peter had good intentions, but they didn't always carry through. This was the same Peter who had abandoned her to the Cruciatus Curse. (Yes, he had come back, but the point still held.) The same Peter who had sat at this very table and suggested joining the Death Eaters. Lily knew the words had just slipped out because he had been upset. But somehow the idea of putting Harry's life in Peter's hands suddenly made her nauseous.

"I think it's a good idea," James was saying.

"Are you sure?" Lily asked as she turned back to the two men seated around her. "Maybe Peter's not the best choice."

"Why not?" James asked in confusion. "He's incredibly loyal. He wouldn't betray us."

"Maybe not on purpose," Lily said.

"What are you saying, Lily?" Sirius asked.

"I'm saying that maybe we should pick somebody who's made of sterner stuff," Lily said, trying to put it politely as possible.

"He doesn't have to be stern for it to work," James said. His tone made it clear that he was failing to see the problem here. "There's no way to coerce the information out of him. If he doesn't want to tell, then he can't. All it takes is loyalty, which he has."

"But what if that's not enough?" Lily pressed.

James pulled back as if Lily had suddenly grown a second head.

"Do you not trust him?" he asked in shock.

"That's not what I'm saying," Lily insisted.

"Then what are you saying?" Sirius asked. His own eyes were narrowed as if he couldn't understand it either.

"I'm saying that sometimes Peter wobbles," Lily said. She looked down at her knees as she said it, unable to look Peter's friends in the eye as she tarnished his character. "Sometimes the pressure gets to him and he cracks."

"Maybe sometimes, but not when it matters," James insisted.

"Sometimes he does," Lily argued. "I've seen it happen. How did you think I got-"

She quickly stilled her tongue before she gave away the part Peter had played in Mulciber cursing her. He had just been scared, and Lily didn't want it to wreck his friendship with the others. But neither James nor Sirius seemed to notice her slip.

"I can't believe this," James said in shock. He stood up from the couch, running his hand through his hair as he tried to wrap his mind around it.

"James," Lily began.

"You don't trust him," James accused. "Peter is one of my oldest friends, and you don't trust him with our son?"

"I do trust him!" Lily insisted.

"Then why don't you want him to do this?" James demanded.

"Because I'm not taking any risks with our little boy's life!" Lily shot back.

"And you think Peter's a risk?" James cried.

"Yes!" Lily practically shouted.

The entire cottage was dead silent as the echo of her answer faded. Harry was looking up from the floor, his wide green eyes thoroughly confused. Sirius too looked taken aback as he looked at his friends. James was staring as if Lily had just uttered blasphemy.

"I didn't mean that," Lily whispered.

"Yes, you did," James said coldly. He shook his head. "You don't trust my friends. But I chose them, Lily. So does that bring my judgment into question too?"

"No," Lily insisted. She quickly stood to her feet to put herself closer to James' level. Then she pointed to the rug where Harry sat. "But that is our little boy over there. I know you don't want to hear it, James, but Peter cracks. He doesn't mean to, but he does. And I don't want his cracking to put our son in danger."

"I don't believe this," James said.

"James," Lily began, reaching out to touch his arm.

James stepped back out of her reach. Lily let her hand fall limply to her side as her eyes begged him to understand.

"I need some air," James muttered.

He turned on his heels and headed for the stairs. They could hear him pounding up them, and then a door on the second floor slammed. Lily put a hand to her mouth as tears welled in her eyes.

"Lily?" Sirius asked carefully.

Thankfully, Lily was saved from answering by Harry.

"Dada?" he called pitifully from the rug.

Lily sniffed loudly before crossing the small room and picking up her son.

"It's alright, sweetheart," she said as she hugged him to her. "Dad will come back down later."

She sat back down in the middle of the couch and pressed her nose into her son's hair, hoping the familiar scent of his baby shampoo would somehow stem the oncoming flood of tears. It didn't. If anything, the beloved smell actually made things worse.

The couch dipped a bit as Sirius quietly sat down beside her. He didn't say a word, just quietly waited for Lily to look at him. She didn't. Instead, a small tremor shook her shoulders as she just barely choked back a sob. Harry wriggled around on her lap until he was looking up at her.

"Mama?" he asked worriedly. Lily somehow pulled her mouth into a watery smile.

"Mama's okay," she told him.

Harry continued to stare up at her with his little brow furrowed as if he didn't quite believe her. Lily reached out and brushed her fingertips against his chubby cheeks. Somehow that seemed to satisfy Harry. He looked around the rug for Evans, who had curled up in the armchair Sirius had just vacated. The sight of his playmate caused Harry to wriggle out of Lily's lap and back onto the floor. He toddled over to the chair and began trying to pull himself up into it so he could reach the cat.

Now that Harry was occupied elsewhere, Sirius reached out and laid a hand on Lily's shoulder.

"What just happened?" he asked quietly.

Instead of answering, Lily turned and buried her face in his shoulder. Sirius wrapped his arm fully around her, holding her to him as he ran his hand comfortingly up and down her arm. Lily stayed huddled against him for a few long minutes. Her shoulders were just barely trembling as quiet tears slipped free. Finally she tilted her head to rest against Sirius' shoulder instead of burrowing into it. Her hands came up to wipe fiercely at her damp cheeks as she sniffed back the remaining tears.

"You okay?" Sirius asked.

"There's a war going on, and a dark wizard wants to kill my son," Lily said flatly. Her voice was scratchy from her brief bout of crying.

"Good point," Sirius consented.

Lily sighed heavily against his leather jacket.

"Do you think I over reacted?" she asked hoarsely.

"I don't know," Sirius admitted slowly. "When you said that Peter cracks, you sounded like you were thinking of a particular time. You almost said it, but then you stopped. What was it?"

"It doesn't matter," Lily said.

"I think it does," Sirius told her.

Lily reached up to play with the cold metal teeth of his jacket's zipper as she tried to decide whether or not she should tell him about that night with Mulciber.

"We were on a mission, and Peter panicked," she said finally. "When and why doesn't matter. The point is that he cracked."

"Were you hurt?" Sirius asked in a tense voice. His arm tightened reflexively around her.

"It doesn't matter," Lily repeated.

"So you were," Sirius said. The deadly undertone in his voice caused Lily to lift her head to look up at him. His jaw was tightly clenched, and his grey eyes were steely. "How badly?"

"Sirius-" Lily said, trying to calm him down.

"How badly?" Sirius demanded.

"I wasn't there very long-" Lily began before quickly shutting her mouth. But it was too late. Sirius had already put the pieces together, and there was murder in his eyes now.

"Did he leave you?" Sirius asked in a voice so level it was terrifying. "Did he leave you to be tortured?" Then his mouth fell open. "The Cruciatus Curse. Two years ago, you were on a mission, and Peter left you to go get help. Only that's not what happened, is it?"

"Sirius," Lily tried again. But Sirius was too shocked to hear her.

"Alice always thought it was strange," he said softly. "She said you looked like you'd been under for far longer than just a few minutes. Peter didn't go for help, did he? Not at first. He left you. He left you with the Death Eaters." Lily's silence was answer enough. Sirius' jaw clenched so tightly it was a wonder it didn't shatter. "I'm gonna kill him."

"No, you're not," Lily said fiercely. "And you're not gonna tell James either."

"Lily, you could've died!" Sirius hissed. "He abandoned you to torture! Why did you never say anything? How can you even look at him?"

"The same way I was able to look at you after what you did to Snape in fourth year," Lily said.

"That's completely different," Sirius insisted.

"It's really not," Lily said firmly. "I know you weren't trying to get Snape killed. You weren't thinking, and you got carried away. Well, Peter wasn't trying to get me hurt. He just wasn't thinking. He got scared. I know what that's like. When Mulciber cornered me in Hogsmeade sixth year, I panicked. I froze up. I couldn't think. We've all had moments like that. Peter's just came at a really bad time. But he came back for me in the end. He really did save my life. So I forgave him. Just like I forgave you."

Sirius sat in silence for a long moment, just staring at Lily. Then he leaned over and pressed a kiss to her forehead.

"What was that for?" Lily asked in confusion.

"For being you" Sirius said fondly. "We don't deserve you, Ginger. None of us."

"I know," Lily said with a wink.

"But you were right about Peter being Secret Keeper," Sirius told her. "We'll get someone else-"

"Actually, I think you were right," Lily said slowly. "It should be him."

"Are you mad?" Sirius asked flatly. "After what you just told me?"

Lily glanced over at the armchair where Harry was trying to get his chubby fingers around the cat's waving tail. When she looked back at Sirius, it was with renewed determination.

"Look," Lily said, turning sideways on the couch. "Yeah, Peter ran away. But then he came back, and he hasn't run since. Remember last year when Remus got hurt on that patrol? Peter didn't run then. He held off two Death Eaters at once until they could get to safety. What happened with me and him was a long time ago. He's grown up a lot since then. He wouldn't do something like that again. I know he wouldn't. But even if he did, running away from Death Eaters and betraying us to Voldemort are two completely different things. He'd never do that, not ever, no matter how scared he got. And like you said, Voldemort wouldn't expect it to be him."

"Are you sure?" Sirius asked. "Because if there is even the slightest doubt in your mind-"

"There's not," Lily said firmly. "Maybe there was, but it's gone now. Turns out I had a little wobble of my own. But it's over now." She hesitated before adding, "Although I'd appreciate it if you didn't tell James about what happened. If he knew Peter left me behind, it would kill him."

"I won't tell him," Sirius assured her. "Although maybe you should."

"There's not really a point," Lily said with a shrug. "A Secret Keeper can't be tortured into telling, so the only way the secret gets out is if they give it up willingly. And Peter would never turn us over like that. I know that. I really do. But when you suggested him, the first place my head went was that night two years ago. It's not that I don't trust him-"

"I get it," Sirius assured her. "You're just trying to keep Harry safe."

"James doesn't see it that way," Lily said quietly as she put her head back on Sirius' shoulder.

"Just give him some time," Sirius told her. "He'll calm down soon enough."

Evans had apparently tired of Harry's attention because she leaped off the armchair and came over to the couch where she jumped up next to Lily. Harry frowned after her. Then he crawled off the edge of the armchair and back across the rug to where his Puddlemere United figures still hovered.

"Harry's gonna be fine," Sirius said so quietly that only Lily could hear him. "We're gonna win this war, and he's gonna grow up perfectly happy in a free world. And then he's gonna go to Hogwarts and play Quidditch and get himself into all sorts of trouble carrying on the Marauder legacy."

"Oh, so there's a legacy now?" Lily asked drily.

"Of course there is," Sirius told her. "And his dad and his uncles are gonna tell him all about it as he grows up. About all the great times we had and the trouble we got into. All five of us."

"Five?" Lily asked, tilting her head to look up at him in confusion.

"Five," Sirius confirmed with a fond smile. "This may have started out as a boys club, but you're part of it now, Ginger. You have been for a while."

Lily didn't quite know what to say to that. She loved the four Marauders dearly. James was her husband, obviously. But the others were special to her as well. Remus was her best friend for life, Peter was her sweet kid brother, and Sirius was her annoying but beloved older one. However, there had always been a certain bond between the four young men that Lily had no part of. And she had been okay with that. She had even respected it. But now it seemed that at least one of them was welcoming her into the inner circle. And that meant more than Lily could ever say.

She put her head back against Sirius' shoulder before the burning in her eyes could get worse.

"So do I get a codename too?" she asked lightly.

"Mrs. Prongs?" Sirius offered. Lily smacked his chest with her palm, which only caused him to chuckle. "Okay, okay. What about… Flower?"

"Really?" Lily asked drily. "A flower? That's original."

"No, I mean like the girl deer from Bambi," Sirius explained.

"Flower was the skunk," Lily informed him.

"Close enough," Sirius said with a shrug. Lily whacked him again.

"Prat," she muttered.

"Fine," Sirius said, settling further back into the couch. "We'll think of something really cool. Like…" He exhaled heavily through pursed lips, causing a stream of air to knock his long bangs further away from his face. Then he snapped excitedly with the hand currently resting on Lily's shoulder. "I've got it. Lightfoot."

"Lightfoot?" Lily asked curiously.

"Yeah," Sirius said with an emphatic nod. "Deer are light-footed. Nimble. It's perfect."

"You just like it 'cause it ends the same as yours," Lily informed him.

"Well, there is that," Sirius admitted. "It would be sort of cool though. Like us both having the same surname. Maybe then people would actually believe we're related. I know this might sound crazy, but we don't really look it."

Lily laughed as he had intended.

"Padfoot and Lightfoot," she said thoughtfully. "I like it."

"Of course you do," Sirius said lightly. "It's brilliant."

Lily smacked his chest again, but there was a smile on her face. The expression slowly faded as she sighed heavily.

"I should probably go talk to James," she said quietly.

Sirius turned his head and kissed her forehead again.

"Good luck," he said.

"Thanks," Lily said. She forced herself to sit up before looking over at Sirius. "Can you keep an eye on Harry for a minute?"

The little boy was currently pushing his Puddlemere United figures down to the rug only to giggle excitedly as their Hover Charms forced them back into the air. Sirius couldn't help smiling a little as he looked down at his godson.

"I would love to," he said.

"Try not to break anything while I'm gone," Lily warned as she got off the couch.

Sirius grinned up at her and used a finger to trace a big X over his heart.

"I solemnly swear to do my very best not to break anything," he told her.

"Why does that not make me feel any better?" Lily muttered.

She shook her head and started for the stairs. It was a short climb up the worn wooden staircase to the second floor of the cottage. The door to James and Lily's bedroom was wide open. Lily walked quietly across the floor to the doorway and looked in. James was sitting on the edge of the bed with a magical photograph in his hands of the four Marauders in their fifth year. His eyes were sad as he looked down at the four young boys with their arms slung around each other's shoulders, all of them laughing like they didn't have a single care in the world.

"James?" Lily said softly.

James didn't respond, and for a moment she wondered if he hadn't heard her. But finally he tore his eyes away from the picture and turned them on her.

"You have to have a reason," he said in a scratchy voice. "You care about Peter. I know you do. You've let him have my back before, and you wouldn't do that if you didn't trust him. So why don't you trust him now?"

It was in incredible testament to James Potter's love for his wife that he was giving her this chance to explain. No one questioned the loyalty of his friends. No one. And yet here he was giving Lily the benefit of the doubt. Giving her chance to make him question one of his closest friends.

"Something happened with Peter and I," Lily admitted. She stepped into the room and walked over to the side of the bed so she was looking down at James. "But honestly, it doesn't matter. It was a long time ago, and he's changed since then. And I know he would never betray us. I really do. I just want Harry to be safe. I want that more than anything in the world. So I looked at all of Peter's faults, when what I should've been looking at was his strengths. He's loyal to you. To us. And that loyalty makes him brave." She paused before adding, "Which is why I think we should make him our Secret Keeper."

A slow smile crept across James' face. He put the picture down beside him on the bed and stood to his feet, taking Lily's hands in his own.

"I love you," he said firmly. "I love you and Harry more than I have ever loved anything in my entire life. I would do anything to keep you safe. And I would never, ever put your lives in the hands of someone that I didn't absolutely trust to protect them."

"I know," Lily whispered.

James leaned forward and they shared a kiss, which then morphed into a hug. Lily felt herself smiling a little as she held on.

"I love you too," she said strongly.

Any reply James might have made was interrupted by a loud crashing noise downstairs, which was immediately followed by an angry yowl from Evans.

"We're fine!" Sirius yelled up the stairs.

Lily shifted her head so she could drop her forehead against James' shoulder.

"Someday I'm gonna kill him," she muttered.

"No, you're not," James said with a smile.

"Maybe not," Lily consented, lifting her head. She pulled away and looked up at James. "Come on then. Let's go make sure he didn't blow up the baby."

X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X

The first thing Peter said when Lily opened the door was, "I'm not sure this is a good idea."

"Of course it is," Sirius said from behind him. He put up his hands and shoved Peter inside.

"Hello to you too," Lily said drily as she closed the front door behind them both.

"Hey, boys," James called. He had just managed to grab the end of Harry's toy broomstick as it flew by, and he was now lifting his son off of it and into his arms.

"Are you sure about this?" Peter asked nervously. "About me being the Secret Keeper? Isn't there someone else better suited?"

"The Fidelius Charm isn't about magical talent," James pointed out. He stepped over to where the rest of them stood with Harry still in his arms. "It's about loyalty. And you have that."

The words were meant to reassure Peter, but he still looked on the verge of vomiting.

"But if you don't want to do it, we can look for someone else-" Lily offered.

"No, it's not that," Peter interrupted, wringing his hands. "I want to do it. But what if I crack?"

"You won't," James assured him.

Peter ignored the comment, his nervous eyes focused on Lily. He seemed far more on edge than usual. His hands were trembling slightly, the beginnings of dark circles were forming under his bloodshot eyes, and his hair looked almost as if he had given up caring for it. But it was his eyes that truly grabbed Lily. She didn't have to ask to know he was thinking about that night two years ago.

"Would you boys give us a minute?" Lily asked Sirius and James.

"Sure," James said knowingly. He looked down at Harry in his arms. "You want to show Uncle Padfoot your new stuffed owl?"

Harry grinned and nodded emphatically. James headed for the stairs with Harry in his arms and Sirius right behind him. Lily waited until they were safely up the stairs before turning to Peter.

"It shouldn't be me," Peter said emphatically. "If I wobble this time, it could get you all killed."

"You won't," Lily told him. She actually sounded like she believed it. "I've seen you grow up a lot these last few years. I told you once that you had bravery inside you, that you just had to find it. And you did. You've done us all proud, Peter. So what if you've had some wobbles along the way? In the end, they've just made you stronger. And that's why I know you can do this."

"This isn't just a random mission, Lily," Peter pointed out. "This is you putting your life in my hands. The last time you did that, I ran. And now it's not just you. It's James and Harry too."

Lily reached out and put her hands on Peter's shoulders.

"What happened that night was one moment," she said firmly. "One moment of fear against so many more of bravery. You are brave, Peter. You've proved it over and over. Which is why I'm trusting you with my son. I admit that I wasn't sure about it at first. But I am now. It's like I told you that night. Bravery isn't about not being afraid. It's about facing your fear. So when you think about it, the people who get scared the most are actually the people with the most chances to be brave. And that makes you one of the bravest people I know. So yeah, I trust you with this."

Peter's eyes were watery by the time Lily finished speaking. She gave him a warm smile before letting go of his shoulders.

"Besides," she added. "The Fidelius Charm has nothing to do with bravery. The secret can't be tortured out of you. The only way for it to get out is if you actually want to tell someone. And no matter how scared you might get, I know you'd never actually want to hurt us. Which means we're perfectly safe with you."

She didn't have time to say anything more because Peter suddenly surged forward and wrapped his arms around her neck in a tight hug. Lily was so surprised that it took her a moment to get her own arms around Peter.

"Thank you," Peter said in a strangely hoarse voice.

"You're welcome," Lily said, tightening her arms around him.

Peter held on for a few more second as if somehow drawing strength from her. When he finally pulled away, his eyes were red but dry.

"You okay?" Lily asked.

"I think I'm going to be," Peter said honestly.

"Does that mean you're up for being Secret Keeper?" Lily questioned. "Because it's still your choice. You can back out if you want to."

"No," Peter said, shaking his head. "I would be honored."

"Good," Lily said with a smile. "Let's go tell the boys then."

The Fidelius Charm was a fairly complicated spell, so it took a bit of work to remove it from Sirius and then recast it onto Peter. But in the end, it all went off without a hitch. Peter was now the official Secret Keeper for the Potters. As a further precaution, they decided against telling anyone about the switch. Nobody else really came by the cottage anyway, so it wasn't as if anyone would notice. And this way if the traitor in the Order did try to turn them in, they would be handing over the wrong Secret Keeper. Although Lily was quick to assure Sirius that this was not an excuse for him to run around throwing him life away.

Sirius insisted that they all have a celebratory drink after sorting out the spell. ("Here's to sticking it to old Voldy," he said before downing his glass of Firewhisky.) Truth be told, the change in Secret Keeper felt like little more than a slight shift in strategy. It didn't feel at all like an important moment. But it was. Actually, it was more than just important. It was positively monumental. That simple switch would set in motion a chain of events that would change the wizarding world forever. For most of those witches and wizards, it would be the beginning of a bright new future. But for four young people sharing a drink in a small cottage in Godric's Hollow, that moment was the beginning of the end.

* * *

That brings us almost to the end of this story. Before you go, please take a minute to leave a short review letting me know what you thought. You guys have no idea what those mean to me. The last part of this story will be posted on Tuesday. I was originally going to end it here, but I decided I couldn't fully show what Lily meant to the boys unless I showed how her loss affects them. The final chapter will revolve around October 31, 1981 and will look at the deaths of the Potters as well as the reactions of the three surviving Marauders. It's going to be pretty emotional, so if you're a crier, I suggest you bring some Kleenex. But there are also some beautiful parts that will make it a truly bittersweet ending. Be sure you come back for that final leg of this journey. And as always, thanks for reading.


	12. October 31, 1981

Author's Note: This is the last chapter of this story. It's pretty emotional, so if you're a crier, I recommend having Kleenex handy. It also contains several chunks of italicized flashback dialogue from this story just to show how far the different relationships have come. Quotes from the same memory are grouped together like two lines of the same paragraph to show that they go together. In places where Rowling has given us legit dialogue, I tried to stick as close to it as possible. As for Remus' part, I'm aware it gets a bit cheesy. But somehow it really feels like something he would do, and it makes the ending just a little less sad. So of you don't like it, sorry. Also, before someone fusses at me for using song lyrics, "The Parting Glass" is in the public domain, so I'm clear. And since Karen Gillan is my favorite fan cast for Lily, I decided it would be appropriate to end this with an altered version of a quote about her character in Doctor Who. So here we go. "This is the story of Lily Evans Potter. And this is how it ends."

* * *

 **October 31, 1981**

Halloween was a fairly quiet evening at the Potter house. Harry was far too young for trick-or-treating, and their isolation meant that it was out of the question anyway. So the Potters spent the evening much like they did any other. The only sign that this evening was any different was the occasional sound of children in costume running past the house on their way to collect more candy.

James was sitting on the soft rug in front of the living room fireplace. He had his wand out, and puffs of smoke in various colors were erupting from the end. Harry sat in front of James, already wearing his blue pajamas. He was laughing as he tried to catch the smoke in his chubby fists. Evans was absent from her usual armchair, having instead elected to go outside for one of her walks. They would have to remember to let her back in before going to bed.

Lily entered the doorway and halted briefly to take in the sight in front of her. Both her boys safe and happy. A contented smile crossed her face as she watched them. There were some days that being in hiding drove Lily crazy. But there were other times when she actually enjoyed it. Their family was together, and they were safe. So long as they remained inside these walls, the war beyond was powerless to touch them. Sometimes Lily decided she wouldn't mind being cooped up in this cottage for the rest of eternity if it meant more quiet moments like this.

"Alright," Lily said, stepping fully into the living room. "It's time for little boys to go to bed."

James let the sparks from his wand fade.

"Okay, little man," he said to Harry. "You heard your mum. Time for bed."

"Tay," Harry mumbled as he rubbed his eyes. It was the closest he could get to saying "okay."

James scooped Harry up and staggered to his feet before passing Harry into Lily's waiting arms. Then James stretched, yawning and dropping his wand onto the couch as he did so.

"I think it's Dad's bedtime too," Lily said with a grin. Harry giggled.

"Do I get a bedtime story?" James asked, making his beast pleading face.

"Yes!" Harry cried happily as his hand took hold of Lily's shirt. He loved his bedtime stories.

"Alright," Lily said with a chuckle. "What story are we reading?"

She would never get an answer. At that moment, the front door suddenly exploded open with a deafening crash. It flew off its hinges and slammed into the floor, bringing with it a flood of frigid October air. Lily didn't need to see the gaping hole or the cloaked figure standing there with raised wand to know who it was. Neither did James, who was already running for the doorway.

"Lily, take Harry and go!" he ordered as he dashed into the hall. "It's him!"

Lily didn't question him. She clutched Harry to her and dove for the staircase. Her heart was slamming in her ears as she scrambled up the stairs. She could still hear James yelling below as he skidded across the wooden floor past the kitchen and into the entryway.

"Go!" he was shouting. "Run! I'll hold him off-"

"Avada Kedavra!"

Lily was nearly to Harry's room when James' voice suddenly died midsentence. Her entire body screeched to a halt as the words echoed through her ears. Time seemed to stop as she listened for the thump of his body against the floor. It was a dull, sickening sound that seemed to echo through the house. There was a breath of chilling silence, and then a tidal wave of memories crashed over her.

 _"What can I say? I'm irresistible."  
"More like insufferable." _

_"Most of the time you're an arrogant fathead."  
"Ouch."  
"But you can also be a really good person when you want to be." _

_"What do you want, Potter?"  
"For you to go to Hogsmeade with me this weekend."  
"In your dreams." _

_"This year you haven't asked me out once. Why?"  
"It stopped being a game." _

_"Then would you go out with me?"  
"Try it and find out." _

_"Are you trying to be romantic?"  
"Maybe. Is it working?"  
"Maybe." _

_"I need to do this, Lily. It's the right thing to do."  
"Then I'll do it with you." _

_"Will you marry me?"  
"You're asking me this now?!" _

_"We have a little boy."_

 _"I love you and Harry more than I have ever loved anything in my entire life. I would to anything to keep you safe."_

 _"Lily, take Harry and go!"_

According to Muggle psychologists, the first stage of grief was denial. But what came first to Lily wasn't numbness. Instead, there was a terrifying moment of crushing clarity. James was gone. Her husband, her best friend, the father of her child, was dead. It was as if all of the life and light had suddenly been sucked out of the world, and Lily was left staring into an empty void. The scream was already over before she even realized it was coming from her. James was dead. There was nothing left to live for. It was over. Voldemort had won.

And then Harry's little hands shifted against the material of Lily's shirt. That small sensation yanked Lily back to the present. James might be gone, but Harry was still here. Their son was still alive. He was the reason James had given himself up. He was the reason Voldemort had come here at all. To kill their son. And Lily would be damned if she just stood here and let him do it.

She caught the edge of the door to Harry's room, slamming it closed behind her. There was no key in the lock. Where had they put the bloody key?! Lily's hand went instinctively to her back pocket, only to find it empty. Her wand wasn't there. Her blood turned to ice as the realization set in. Voldemort himself was coming up the stairs, and Lily had no wand. Merlin's beard, she had no wand! But she couldn't just stand here and do nothing!

A switch seemed to flip in Lily's brain as dormant Muggle instinct suddenly took over. She switched Harry over to her left arm, and with her right she grabbed the edge of a chair. She practically threw it in front of the door before grabbing a toy bin and doing the same with that. Lily grabbed everything she could get her hands on. She pulled over a set of shelves in front of the door and tossed another toy bin on top. Anything to put more obstacles between Voldemort and Harry. The barricade was hastily constructed, and somewhere in the back of Lily's mind she knew it wouldn't hold. But it was all she could do. There was only one coherent thought in Lily's mind now, one driving force keeping her alive – save Harry.

The door burst open, shattering the barricade, and Lily jumped in shock. Then Voldemort was there. A simple wave of his wand knocked away the flimsy obstacles Lily had put in front of him. Lily dropped Harry into his crib and placed herself directly between him and the door, her arms thrown wide as she stared into the leering face of evil itself. Voldemort's red eyes blazed like the fires of hell.

"Not Harry," Lily begged. "Not Harry, please not Harry!"

"Stand aside, you silly girl," Voldemort said coldly. He motioned with his wand, but no spell came forth to send Lily flying. "Stand aside now."

Lily shook her head fiercely as tears welled in her eyes. She had no wand, no way to fight him off. No weapon left save the shield of her body to be used as cannon fodder in the vain hope that it would somehow save her precious baby boy.

"Not Harry," she pleaded. "Please no. Take me. Kill me instead."

"This is my last warning," Voldemort said in his cruel tone, his jaw tensing in irritation.

"Not Harry!" Lily yelled. She was crying now, though not for fear of her own death. Rather her tears were from fear that she would be unable to save her son. "Please have mercy! Have mercy. Not Harry! Not Harry! Please, I'll do anything-"

"Stand aside," Voldemort ordered. "Stand aside, girl!"

He raised his wand, and Lily knew that this was it. Her life didn't flash before her eyes as she expected. There wasn't time for that. There wasn't even time for her to scream. There was only time for the sickening realization that she was going to die and her precious Harry would be left alone.

A flash of green light filled the room. On the few occasions that Lily had witnessed a killing curse, it had always reminded her of watching someone blow out a candle. One second there was light and life, and the next it was just gone. It was as sudden as a bolt of green lightning. But as the curse left Voldemort's wand, Lily wasn't thinking about any of that. Instead, the last thought to cross her mind was that she had to save her son, even if it killed her.

And then the wind hit the candle. The flame was extinguished in the time it took to snap. Her body hit the floor, a lifeless husk. After twenty-one years of vibrant life, Lily Evans Potter was dead.

X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X

"Wormy?" Sirius called, knocking his knuckles against the door. "You there?"

He pressed his ear against the wood, but there was no sound from inside. That wasn't altogether surprising. Peter was probably in bed at this hour. And he was the soundest sleeper Sirius had ever met. The house could've been burning down around him, and Peter would've slept right through it.

Sirius tried the doorknob, and it turned. The stupid git was always forgetting to lock his doors.

"Wormy, you forgot the door again," Sirius called as he stepped into the rundown apartment. "How many times do I have to tell you to lock it?"

The only answer he received was silence. But there were no signs of struggle anywhere in the grungy apartment. Peter was probably just sleeping in the back.

Sirius stepped over to the flimsy bedroom door and pushed it open without knocking. He already had his mouth opened when he realized the bed was empty. Now that was disturbing.

"Wormtail?" Sirius asked, taking a long look around the room. There was no sign of his friend. He stepped back out into the main room as a frown settled on his face. "Peter? Are you here?"

He ducked his head into the grimy bathroom and then the small kitchen. Both were empty, as was the tiny hall closet. There was no sign of Peter anywhere.

"Peter, this isn't funny," Sirius called.

His wand was in his hand now, and his worry was increasing by the second. Something was wrong. Since becoming Secret Keeper, Peter had been too terrified to leave his hiding spot. Besides, a quick look in his pantry confirmed that it was fully stocked with food. Peter's belongings were all still there, so this excursion hadn't been planned. But it would've taken something truly horrific to drive him out, especially without him telling someone. And there was no sign that the place had been broken into or that any kind of fight had taken place. So what could possibly…

The memory of Sirius' conversation with Lily hit him like a river of ice water.

 _"Maybe Peter's not the best choice."_

 _"All it takes is loyalty, which he has."  
"But what if that's not enough?" _

_"Peter cracks. He doesn't mean to, but he does."_

 _"Lily, you could've died! He abandoned you to torture!"_

 _"He got scared."_

 _"A Secret Keeper can't be tortured into telling, so the only way the secret gets out is if they give it up willingly."_

And just like that, Sirius knew.

"No," he whispered. "No, no, no. Not them. He wouldn't."

For a second Sirius could only stand there, his feet rooted to the floor in shock. Then it was like someone threw a switch. He dove for the door, practically flying across the room. He took the stairs down two at a time. So great was his haste that he missed the last step and fell to the floor. His knees screamed in protest as he pushed himself off the floor, but there wasn't time to stop.

Sirius' prized motorcycle was parked just outside the building. He leaped onto the seat and urged it into the sky, not caring who saw him. All that mattered was getting to the cottage in Godric's Hollow. He had Charmed the bike to go far faster than it should, and most days he never even cranked it up to top speed. But today the fastest speed still felt far too slow.

It seemed to take an eternity of flying through the clouds before the little village came into view. All the while, Sirius could feel his heart slamming in his ears. He brought the motorcycle down toward the street, and already he could tell something was wrong. Half the roof was caved in. Someone big was standing in front of the house. Hagrid. He turned around at the sound of the motorcycle, and Sirius could see little Harry in Hagrid's arms. But James and Lily were nowhere in sight.

The motorcycle touched the pavement, and Sirius braked so hard he nearly flew over the handlebars. The machine had barely even turned off before Sirius's feet touched the pavement. He flung the gate open and staggered to a halt in front of Hagrid. There were fat tears running down the half-giant's cheeks to land in his thick beard.

"What happened?" Sirius demanded, his voice trembling.

"They're gone," Hagrid sobbed. "He killed 'em , he did."

"No," Sirius said with a fierce shake of his head. "No, they can't be dead."

"They are," Hagrid insisted. The blubbering made him even harder to understand than usual. "I jus' got little Harry outta the house. Poor tyke was crying. I reckon he saw it 'appen."

Only then did Sirius see the jagged gash on Harry's forehead. He quickly scanned his godson for other signs of injury. Except for that one mark though, Harry seemed fine. The little boy had been rubbing sleepily at his red eyes, but now he extended his hands to Sirius.

"Pafoo," he said eagerly.

Sirius, however, was far too shaken to respond.

"Stay with him," he ordered Hagrid.

He raced up the walk, ignoring Harry calling after him, and stepped through the gaping hole where the door had once been. He nearly tripped over James in the process. The other wizard had fallen backwards onto the floor. His hands were strangely empty. He had thrown himself at Voldemort without a wand. A human shield trying to buy his wife and child time to escape. His eyes were still wide with that final desperation.

The sight of him lying there so still was like a punch to Sirius' gut. He doubled over with a pained sob, one hand on his knees and the other on his mouth. His eyes were watering almost beyond the point of visibility. It wasn't possible. James Potter was dead. James, who had opened his home to Sirius. James, who had never judged Sirius for his family. James, Sirius' best friend- no, his brother was dead.

It took every ounce of strength Sirius had to make himself step over the body. Lily was nowhere in sight. She must've made it up the stairs with Harry. James had bought her that much. Sirius' legs were shaking as he crossed the floor and began to slowly climb the familiar stairs. Harry's room was at the end of the landing, and the door was standing wide open. Sirius swallowed hard as he stepped inside.

The room, usually so tidy, was a mess. The roof was completely gone, and a few remaining beams of wood were hanging down into the room. A red onesie had caught on one of them and was waving pathetically in the frigid wind. One of the walls was destroyed as well, revealing a gaping hole that led straight through to James and Lily's room. Toys and baby clothes were scattered across the room. Some of the lighter items were still being shifted by the freezing wind ripping through the place. What furniture the room had held was on its side, and some of it even looked burned. All save the crib.

And there on the floor in front of the crib was Lily's body. Her eyes had fallen shut, and were it not for the limp angles of her limbs, she could have been sleeping. Her wand was also notably absent. Debris had rained down around her, leaving a sprinkle of dust in her red hair. She looked so young lying there. Far too young to bear the trials the world had given her. Far too young to be dead.

 _"Good game. For a girl."  
"You too. For a boy." _

_"We're so good at working against each other, I figured we could do something pretty great if we put our heads together."_

 _"You didn't have to hit him, you know."  
"Yeah, I did." _

_"You're a good person deep down. You just have to believe it."_

 _"I'm pregnant."  
"Pregnant? Blimey! Pregnant!" _

_"Are you the father?"  
"I'm her brother. I'm not leaving her." _

_"Padfoot and Lightfoot. I like it."_

Sirius' eyes were blurring again as he crossed the floor and dropped to his knees beside Lily's body. He reached out a white and trembling hand to touch her face. It was the touch of his finger to her cold cheek that finally snapped what remained of his resolve. Sirius broke. He leaned forward until his forehead was nearly touching the wooden floor as anguished sobs began ripping their way from his lungs. James and Lily were gone. His two best friends in all the world, the brother he had never had and the sister he had never known he wanted, were dead.

And Peter had betrayed them.

Sirius lifted his head toward the heavens as a scream of primal rage left his lips. Peter had done this. He had destroyed James and Lily. And for what? To save his own skin? Did his friends truly mean so little to him? They had trusted him with their lives, and he had thrown them away like garbage.

And then the knife in Sirius' heart twisted still further. It had been his idea to use Peter as the Secret Keeper. This was his fault. Lily and James were dead because of him. Suddenly Sirius couldn't breathe. He stared down at Lily, his cheeks damp with tears that were beginning to freeze. She had known this would happen. She had known Peter would crack. She had tried to tell them, and they had convinced her that she was wrong. Why the bloody hell hadn't they just listened to her?!

"I'm sorry," Sirius choked. "I'm so sorry."

Lily's still form didn't answer. Sirius' burning eyes drifted to her feet where Harry's favorite blanket had slid out of the crib. Merlin's beard, Harry! James and Lily might be dead, but Harry was still alive. And Sirius was his godfather. Sirius forced himself to take a deep breath and let it out. His godson needed him. He owed this to Lily and James.

Sirius picked up the blanket and pushed himself to his feet. Once he was standing on shaky legs, he swiped his sleeve across his damp cheeks. Then he looked down at Lily one last time.

"Forgive me," he whispered.

He turned around and stepped back out onto the landing. His heart was in his throat as he made his way back down the creaky stairs. It was a short walk back toward the gaping hole where the door had been. Sirius paused again when he reached where James had fallen. He felt that he should say something, but he had no words. Instead he just swallowed hard and stepped over the body to the door.

Hagrid was still standing outside with baby Harry. The little boy was quietly sucking his thumb, completely oblivious to what had happened to his parents.

"I should've been here," Sirius said angrily as he reached Hagrid. "I could've stopped this."

"You would've died righ' with 'em," Hagrid said, his voice still watery. He sniffed loudly. "There's nothin' you could've done. No' with Voldemort out ter kill 'em."

"I could've tried," Sirius insisted.

"It's no use now," Hagrid said sadly. "We have ter go on withou' them. Make them proud."

Sirius looked over at Harry nestled in Hagrid's arms. His eyes were beginning to slide closed.

"Give him to me," Sirius said, holding out his arms. "I'm his godfather. I'll take him."

"I can' do that," Hagrid said with a shake of his big head. "I've got orders from Dumbledore."

"What's Dumbledore got to do with it?" Sirius asked.

"He says Harry's going ter his aunt an' uncle," Hagrid informed him.

"What?!" Sirius cried in disbelief. "They're Muggles! They can't raise him!"

"Dumbledore's orders," Hagrid insisted in a firm voice.

"To hell with that!" Sirius told him. "I'm Harry's godfather! They wanted me to take him if anything happened to them!"

"You can ask Dumbledore abou' it if you want," Hagrid said sternly. "But I've got my orders."

"Petunia's an arrogant arse," Sirius argued. "And she hates magic! Dumbledore can't honestly think she'll raise him properly!"

"Dumbledore knows wha' he's doing," Hagrid said. "An' with his parents gone, Harry ought ter be with family."

"I am family!" Sirius yelled.

Hagrid's face softened, but he still kept tight hold of Harry.

"I know tha'," he said. "But Dumbledore thinks it's better this way. Harry growing up with two adults. An' his cousin. An' they've got a stable home away from this war business, so he'll be safe there."

Sirius had to admit that Hagrid might have a point there. Still, he could feel his heart melting as he looked at the little boy with James' hair and Lily's eyes. He loved that boy with all his heart. But he was in no position to raise a child. And besides, he had business to finish.

Finally Sirius held out the blanket in his hand to Hagrid.

"Here," he said quietly.

Hagrid took the blanket and carefully wrapped it around Harry. His giant hands dwarfed the little boy, but they were also shockingly gentle.

"You take care of him," Sirius said fiercely.

"I won' be letting nothing happen ter him," Hagrid said in a solemn voice.

Sirius glanced over his shoulder at his beloved motorbike and then back at Hagrid.

"Take the motorcycle," he said quietly.

"Wha'?" Hagrid asked in shock.

"You'll get out of here faster that way," Sirius said around the lump in his throat. "And besides. I won't need it anymore."

"Are you sure?" Hagrid asked.

"Completely," Sirius told him.

It took a minute to get Hagrid situated on the motorcycle and explain to him how it worked. But soon enough, Hagrid was driving it down the street. It took to the air a moment later, leaving the Earth behind in a rumble of thunder. Sirius watched until the motorcycle had disappeared into the night sky. Then he turned around for one last look at the house. The hole in the roof was clearly visible, making it look more like a crumbling wreck than the welcoming cottage Sirius knew. He stared at it for a long moment as he committed every last detail to memory. He needed to find Peter. And once he did, Sirius was either going to kill Peter, which would probably land him in Azkaban, or die in the attempt. Either way, he wouldn't be coming back to this house again.

Satisfied with the image in his mind, Sirius set his jaw. He drew his wand, readying it for a fight. It was time to make the traitor pay.

He tightened his hand on his wand and Apparated, leaving behind an empty house with nothing but the wind whistling through it.

X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X

Peter had been crouched in the bushes for some time. When the Dark Lord hadn't returned, he had known something was wrong. He had Apparated to the street in Godric's Hollow only to find Hagrid there with baby Harry. Seeing the collapsed roof and the baby alive had been enough for Peter to know that the Dark Lord was at best defeated and at worst dead. His breath had rushed from his lungs as terror set in. His only solace in betraying the Potters had been that at least he would be safe under the Dark Lord's protection. But now… Now even that small comfort might be gone.

He had been on the verge of approaching Hagrid under the guise of asking what had happened when he heard a thundering roar that he knew all too well – Sirius' motorcycle. That sound had frightened Peter even more than the Dark Lord's defeat. Sirius knew he was the Secret Keeper. He was too smart to mistake what had happened. So Peter had remained hidden in the shadows and shrubs down the street while he waited.

Finally Hagrid and Sirius both left. Still Peter waited just to be sure he truly was alone. Finally convinced, he emerged from the shadows and crept toward the house. He had to get inside and see for himself. He had to know what had happened to the Dark Lord. Only then could he plan his next move.

The cottage's door had been blown in and was flat on the floor. James was lying dead just beyond, the heels of his still shoes nearly touching the top of the door. Peter stumbled to a halt at the sight. He had known James was dead. He had known it was coming even before arriving at the house. But seeing him here like this, the boy who had accepted him so readily and had treated him as an equal, the young man Peter had looked up to so fiercely, seeing his friend dead was a shock. The dead eyes seemed to be staring up at him in accusation. And then Peter realized James had no wand. James had thrown himself at the Dark Lord with no defense to try and save his son. A Gryffindor to the end.

And Peter was a coward.

 _"But what if I crack?"  
"You won't." _

Sour bile rose in the back of Peter's throat. He turned around and was violently sick in Lily's flowerbed. His legs were shaking so badly he had to grab the side of the cottage to remain standing. He had done this. He had killed them. James and Lily had trusted him with their lives, with their son's life. And Peter had betrayed them. He had given them up in a feeble attempt to save his own skin. The Sorting Hat had been wrong. He wasn't brave. He was pathetic and weak. And they had trusted him anyway. They had believed in him. And in return, he had handed them over to the slaughter.

Peter forced himself to stand up and go back inside. He had to get upstairs. He had to know what had happened to the Dark Lord. He fixed his eyes firmly on the stairs, pointedly not looking at James as he stepped over his friend's body. There wasn't time for that now. The lights in the house had gone out, leaving only the flickering firelight casting strange shadows across the room. Peter's knees were trembling as he climbed the creaky stairs. Bright moonlight was streaming into the hallway from Harry's room at the end. Cold air shot through the landing as the wind finally breached the cottage's broken defenses. Peter hesitated on the threshold, mentally bracing himself. Then he stepped inside.

The room was in utter chaos. Debris was everywhere – exploded rafters, broken toys, shredded clothing, splintered furniture. And there on the floor was Lily's body. She looked so peaceful lying there. Peter swallowed hard as the familiar surge of affection shot through him. Lily had always been so kind to him. She had looked after him like an older sister, listening to him and encouraging him. Her faith in him had always made him braver.

 _"I'm Lily, by the way."  
"Peter. Peter Pettigrew." _

_"You've got courage somewhere in there. You just have to find it."  
"You think so?"  
"I know it." _

_"And for what it's worth, you've got me too."  
"That's actually worth a lot." _

_"So you wobbled. You got it straight in the end. That's what matters."_

 _"You're not a coward, Peter. You're a Gryffindor."_

 _"I trust you."_

The unbidden memories were too much. Peter fell to his knees as tears spilled down his cheeks.

"I'm sorry," he sobbed. "I'm so sorry! I didn't want to tell him. I never wanted to hurt you. But I was so afraid. I didn't want to die! I didn't want you to die either. I swear, I didn't! But it was the only way! The only way, Lily. You have to believe that!"

He put his hands on top of his head, tearing at his hair as quiet sobs wracked his body. His chest felt as though it were being torn apart by the force of his grief. But even as he wept, he knew it was too late. There was no coming back from this. No forgiveness was possible for what he had done, no redemption was capable of cleansing him. He had saved his life at the price of his soul.

The brutally silent sobs didn't last nearly as long as Pete expected. Maybe because all of his grief and regret came flooding out in one violent but mercifully quick burst. But whatever the reason, his tears began to slow as his senses slowly returned. He lifted his head, the cold tears drying on his cheeks. There would be time for this later. Right now, he had to learn what had happened to the Dark Lord. There was no body in the room, so it was possible that the Dark Lord had fled. Although how Harry had managed to survive with both his parents dead was a mystery. Surely the boy was too young for the prophecy to have taken effect. Maybe some final protective spell of Lily's had managed to wound the Dark Lord. But then why had he not killed Harry? Not that Peter wanted the boy dead. He didn't. But his continued existence spelled trouble for the Dark Lord and his followers.

Another sharp gust of wind shot through the room, and Peter tucked his arms tighter around himself in an effort to conserve warmth. The air current caught the edge of a blanket on the floor and threw it back. Underneath was the end of a wand. Peter's eyes widened as he slowly pulled the wand out. He knew this wand. This was the wand that had killed Dorcas Meadowes. The Dark Lord would never have left it behind. He relied far too much on its power. For it to be lying here abandoned could mean only one thing – the Dark Lord was dead.

A brief rush of exhilaration rushed through Peter's chest before being drowned in a flood of horror. If the Dark Lord was dead, then Peter's protection was gone. There was no one left for him to hide behind. By now, Hagrid would doubtless have informed Dumbledore of the night's events. Soon they would all know what he had done. But Peter might yet stand a chance. No one but Sirius knew of his part in this. Peter simply had to deal with him before he could tell someone. Killing Sirius was out of the question. James and Lily's blood might be on Peter's hands, but he hadn't committed the final act himself. Betraying was one thing. Killing, however, was something he just wasn't capable of. It took a certain amount of guts that Peter simply didn't have. But there were other ways. He could frame Sirius. Dumbledore still thought Sirius had been the Secret Keeper. Peter could use that to his advantage. But he would have to act quickly.

His gaze fell on Lily's closed eyes as the plan began to take shape in his mind.

"I know what you'd say," he said quietly. "That it's time to be brave and stop wobbling. But it's too late. Sirius will kill me if I don't stop him first. I'm committed now. There's no way out but forward."

Lily's body gave him no response. But even in death, Peter could still feel her disappointment. And it crushed him. She would never have forgiven him for this, he knew. If she had lived, she might have even killed him herself. Lily Potter, the woman who forgave him for abandoning her to the Cruciatus Curse, would have finally given up on him. And that hurt even more than her death.

But there was nothing to be done for it. This wobble couldn't be undone. Peter had finally cracked too far this time, and now he had to live with it. So live with it he would. No matter what it cost him, he was going to live. That was why he had surrendered the Potters, after all. So he could live. And if that made him a coward, then so be it. At least he would be a live coward.

Peter headed back down the stairs, the Dark Lord's wand still in his hand. He stopped by James' body long enough to close his friend's eyes. It wasn't much, but it was all he had. Although in truth, Peter wasn't completely sure if he did it more as some feeble effort to give James peace or simply so he didn't have to see the betrayal lurking there. Either way, he did it. Then he set his jaw and straightened his back. He didn't have time to be sentimental now. He had to get to Sirius before someone else did.

He stepped over the fallen door and out into the cold night, refusing to look back as he made his way down the short walk. The gate was still standing wide open when he reached it. The short fence it hung on marked the edge of the protective spells around the cottage and small yard. Peter stepped out onto the sidewalk where he hesitated briefly. In spite of himself, he glanced back over his shoulder at the cottage that had become so dear to him. Its ruined state seemed an apt metaphor for the wreck his life had become. But there was no going back now. Peter had made his bed. Now it was time to lie in it.

He closed his eyes and Apparated.

X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X

It was Remus who arranged James and Lily's funeral. James had no family left, and Lily's sister was too upset to have anything to do with the world that had killed her sister. So planning the funeral fell to Remus, now free of his cover. He decided to lay the Potters to rest in the cemetery of Godric's Hollow. The village had become their home over the last two years. They would want it to be there. A light dusting of snow fell the night before the funeral, casting an eerily peaceful air on the cemetery. Those who came were all bundled in coats and scarves and mittens as they tried to ward off the chill.

Attendance at the funeral was relatively low. Remus had kept it under wraps as best he could so the papers wouldn't be there covering it. Half the wizarding world would probably have turned up if they had known. Less than a week since their deaths, and James and Lily Potter were already becoming legends. But their funeral was not the place for adoring fans. It was a time for friends to mourn their passing. Unfortunately, there were precious few of them left. Sirius was in Azkaban for killing the Potters. Peter had been blown to bits by Sirius. Marlene was dead. Frank and Alice had been tortured into insanity and probably didn't even remember who the Potters were. Dorcas was dead. The Prewett brothers were dead. Benjy was dead. Edgar was dead. Caradoc had disappeared, and no one had the slightest idea where he was. And Moody was in St. Mungo's after losing his eye in a duel with a Death Eater and had not yet been deemed recovered enough to leave.

That left a rather pitiful group at the graveside that cold November morning. Dumbledore had brought Hagrid and several of the Hogwarts professors with him. It was the only time Remus had ever seen McGonagall cry. Professor Slughorn was completely beside himself. Mary MacDonald was also there with her Muggle-born fiancé. Emmeline was present as well, along with Sturgis Podmore, Dedalus Diggle, and Elphias Doge. Mundungus Fletcher was notably absent, but Remus hadn't really expected anything less. Bathilda Bagshot had also come to see the Potters buried. She had developed a great fondness for the small family during their time in hiding. But aside from a small handful of old school friends and the few villagers who had known the Potters, that was the extent of the funeral party.

The service itself was fairly short. Dumbledore said a few words, and so did Remus. Then the caskets were lowered into the ground. A joint headstone had been carved with magic. It was elegant but simple, bearing James and Lily's names, birthdays, and the day they died. Written across the bottom of the stone was the phrase "The last enemy that shall be defeated is death." That had been Dumbledore's addition. It was probably meant to be comforting, but it did little to ease Remus' grief.

When the ceremony ended, the small group of mourners all made the rounds with everyone shaking hands and offering their consolations to everyone else. Several of them had kind words to offer Remus, and McGonagall even hugged him. But one by one they began to trickle away back to their lives. Because they all had lives. They had families and jobs to return to and a bright future to plan for. But Remsus had none of that. His closest friends were all either dead, missing, insane, or in prison. His parents were gone, no job would take him, and the future was looking like one giant stretch of loneliness. The rest of the wizarding world was busy celebrating the end of the war, and Remus was standing alone in front of a tombstone selfishly wishing it hadn't ended.

He shoved his cold hands into his jacket pockets as he stared down at the stone in front of him. It seemed so strange to think that the sum total of a person's entire life could be boiled down to a tiny mark between two dates. That was it. They had lived, and they had died, and this was all that remained.

Then again, maybe that wasn't all. There were still the memories that they had left behind, lingering ghosts in the minds of those they had known. And maybe in some way their lives carried on like that. Only Remus didn't want ghosts of smiles past. He wanted his friends back. He wanted to hear James laugh and see Lily smile, wanted to feel an arm around his shoulders and another linked through his as they silently assured him that he was indeed welcome here. But he would never hear or see or feel those things again. James and Lily were gone. And Remus had no idea how to let them go.

 _"I'm Lily Evans. We're in the same house."  
"Remus Lupin." _

_"I've never had a friend."  
"Never? Well, you can be mine." _

_"You're a good person, and I'm proud to be your friend."_

 _"James may be my best friend, but you, Lily Evans, are my hero."_

 _"Stop letting your fear hold you back. You're a werewolf. Get over it."_

 _"You come back to me, Remus Lupin. You hear me? You come back."_

Those were the last words Lily had ever said to him. At the time, they had both thought he was the least likely to come home. But fate was a fickle thing, and instead it was Lily lying in the ground. Part of Remus blamed himself for that. He should've seen this coming. Sirius had changed during the war, becoming more aggressive and angry. Remus had thought the accusations Sirius threw his way were just the result of battle-induced paranoia. But it turned out Sirius had just been trying to cover his tracks. And Remus had been his intended scapegoat. Why hadn't Remus seen it? He knew why, of course. Because for all his faults, Sirius was Remus' friend. Or at least he had been. Because it had never occurred to Remus that one of the Marauders could betray the others. They were brothers. But now that bond was broken, their brotherhood destroyed from within. Remus should've seen it. The signs had all been there, but he had overlooked them. And now James and Lily were gone. The sweetest witch and the bravest wizard Remus had ever known were cold and dead in the ground.

He stared down at the headstone in silence as he tried to figure out how to say good-bye to two of the most precious people in his life. Good-byes were something Remus had never really had to deal with. He'd never really been close enough to anyone for it to matter. No one but his parents. Their loss had nearly torn him apart. And now here he was saying good-bye to two of his closest friends. Only it wasn't just them he was mourning. It was also Peter and the boy that Sirius had once been. It was an entire way of life that had been taken from him over night. The headstone in front of him represented all of it. How could he possibly let that go? No matter how he tried, he couldn't find the words.

As the cold began to work its way through his coat, Remus finally gave up. He would never be able to find the words to do justice to James and Lily. They had known what he was, and they had loved him anyway. He would never be able to express just how much that meant to him. So maybe he should stop trying and let someone else do it. There was a particular song that James loved that had always been the last song sung at any large gathering of their friends. Remus had never been much for singing, but the words seemed achingly appropriate now.

He cleared his throat, which sounded like thunder in the quiet cemetery. Then he opened his mouth and began to sing in a quiet tenor voice with just the slightest hint of a scratchy undertone.

"Of all the money that e'er I had, I spent it in good company," he sang softly, staring down at the gravestone. "And all the harm that e'er I've done, alas it was to none but me."

From the depths of his memory, James' dulcet tones rose up singing the words as the bespectacled young man quietly strummed on his guitar. The last time Remus had visited the cottage before heading north, he and James had sung the song together while Lily sat on the sofa with Harry in her lap and a smile on her face. For a moment, it was almost as though Remus were back there.

"And all I've done for want of wit to memory now I can't recall. So fill to me the parting glass. Good night, and joy be with you all."

Remus' voice slowly began to gain strength as the wind added the ghost of Sirius' deliberately exaggerated falsetto and Peter's squeaky, off-key voice that continually cracked as it tried to deepen. The four boys had sung this song so many times in their dorm after James first got his guitar. They had even performed in the snowy courtyard fourth year, a surprisingly harmonized quartet serenading passing girls.

"Fill to me the parting glass, and drink good health whate'er befalls. Then gently rise and softly call, 'Good night, and joy be to you all!'"

The voices faded, and instead Remus was hearing Lily on her sixteenth birthday with Marlene and Mary in The Three Broomsticks. Their joyous mood and a slight excess of Butterbeer had resulted in them bursting into song. Lily had belted out the words, her beautiful voice intentionally deepened for comical effect, while Marlene's crisp alto and Mary's smooth soprano had loudly carried on beside her.

"Oh, all the comrades that e'er I had, they're sorry for my going away! And all the sweethearts that e'er I had would wish me one more day to stay!"

The voices of the Marauders joined in as Mary was replaced by Frank and Alice's perfect harmony, just as they had sounded that first post-graduation Christmas at the Potter house. Remus could feel his eyes watering and his throat tightening painfully as he sang along the next few words. They had never meant so much to him as they suddenly did in this moment.

"But since it falls unto my lot that I should rise and you should not, I'll gently rise and I'll softly call, 'Good night, and joy be to you all!'"

More voices piled in as the chorus grew to include almost the entire Order on New Year's Eve as they bid farewell to 1979. They were a series of varied voices that somehow came together to form a proper choir topped by Dorcas and Emmeline's dueling sopranos, at least until they were both swallowed by the craggy depths of Hagrid's jovially off-key bass.

"Fill to me the parting glass, and drink good health whate'er befalls. Then gently rise and softly call, 'Good night, and joy be to you all!'"

The voices began to fall away then, leaving only four boys and two girls who had snuck out onto the grounds of Hogwarts to quietly bid the school farewell on the last night of their seventh year.

"Fill to me the parting glass and drink good health whate'er befalls. Then gently rise and softly call, 'Good night, and joy be to you all.'"

The remaining ghosts faded as well, carried away by the wind. They left behind a lone young man of twenty-one with tattered fingerless gloves, a worn coat, a badly knit scarf, and a single tearstain that was beginning to freeze. Remus swallowed hard, his strained voice nearly cracking as he managed to get out the final words in a near-whisper.

"Good night, and joy be to you all."

His voice faded with the wind, and then there was only silence in the cemetery. It was broken as Remus sniffed loudly. He reached up to wipe his damp cheek with a gloved hand before fiercely swiping at his nose. This was it. He'd said his piece. Now it was time to go. But still he lingered, staring down at the stone, unable to make himself leave the last remnant of his former life. Unable to walk away from two of his closest friends. Lily had been there before anyone else. And then James had made sure there would always be someone else. Only now there wasn't. They were gone, and with them all of the hope and light that they had brought into his life. Part of Remus wished he had died with them. But he hadn't. He was still alive, and he had to find a way to keep going. As much as it pained him, he knew that was what they would've wanted. It was the only way he had to honor their memory.

But that required leaving the cemetery. After one last look at their names carved so elegantly into the stone, Remus forced himself to turn away. With heavy feet and a heavy heart, he plodded slowly back down the row toward the entrance to the tiny cemetery. His boots crunching against the fresh snow were the only sound amid the sea of silent stone markers.

When he reached the entrance to the cemetery, Remus paused to look back in the direction of James and Lily's tombstone. He was surprised to find Lily's voice suddenly echoing inside his head.

 _"You have to find a way to live your life, to be happy. You deserve to be happy, Remus."_

In spite of everything, the corner of Remus' mouth tugged slightly upward in a sad smile.

"I'll try, Lils," he said softly. Somehow he had a feeling that would've been good enough for her.

Remus took one last look at the snow-dusted headstone at the far end of his footprint trail. Then he turned away and began walking down the small cobblestone road. Maybe Lily had been right. Maybe there was still some happiness waiting for him somewhere out there. He had just to find it.

That's what Lily would have wanted.

* * *

So there it is. The end of this story. Before you go, please take the time to leave one final review letting me know what you thought. And thank you so much to everyone who has reviewed, favorited, or followed this story. You made it a real joy to work on. If you like my writing, feel free to check out my profile and see if any of my other stories look interesting. I only have one other HP story so far (a one-shot about the Black family), but I'm toying with ideas for others. If you want to be notified of my future projects, be sure to follow me. And thanks again for taking the time to read this story. "Good night, and joy be to you all." :)


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